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Thread: WWYD: 4.5 year old bullied? Biting?

  1. #1

    Default WWYD: 4.5 year old bullied? Biting?

    I'm trying not to be "that mom" that thinks their child doesn't do anything wrong. Andrew has never been a biter. He has bitten only 1 boy at school and 1 boy at Church once. The boy at school he has bitten him twice the first time was about six months ago. Andrew said the boy kept being mean to him and always makes fun of him and his pictures. He said the boy said his picture was ugly and he should throw it away. Andrew but his back so hard it bled. This time happened today. The teacher called and said that it happened on the play structure and she thought the boy was playing with the wheel and Andrew wanted a turn and instead of waiting just bit him (not in his character but he has had a hard time dealing with our miscarriage so I didn't think twice). I asked Andrew what he was thinking biting the boy again. He said he was playing with the wheel and the boy came up and pushed him then kept pushing him and he yelled to leave him alone. When the boy wouldn't stop he grabbed his arm and bit him. He was almost in tears saying he was sorry but the boy wouldn't leave him alone. I explained that biting was never ok. But now I'm thinking this boy seems to be really mean to Andrew and is the one who gets caught sticking up for himself and the other boy doesn't get in trouble. Am I thinking too much into it? Is Andrew getting bullied? Or am I just trying to justify his actions so it doesn't sound bad?

  2. #2


    It sounds like this boy could be a trouble maker who isn't getting caught. I would maybe bring it up with the teacher asking if she can try to keep a closer eye on the dynamic between the 2 boys. I would approach it that you recognize your son's part in things as he has reacted in an inappropriate way by biting, but that he is telling you that the boy is doing and saying mean things to him that are causing him to react. When I taught kindergarten, I had a sneaky boy in my class one year who was a total instigator and it took me a little while to figure out his role in things, so it is possible that the boy is getting away with things and the teacher needs to know what is going on. Sorry you and your son are dealing with this!

    Anne (37) DH (37) Olivia (4) Harrison (1)

  3. #3


    It seems like, whatever the exact scenario, your son feels like he is defending himself. I would speak privately to the teacher and ask her someone could shadow your child (as should be done when a child is biting) to see what is triggering his reaction, especially if this is not typical behavior for him.

  4. #4


    Thank you. I get worried that my Momma Bear instinct is clouding my judgment. I will talk to the teacher with my concerns.

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