Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: How much, if at all, do you urge your parents to change?

  1. #1

    Default How much, if at all, do you urge your parents to change?

    Let me start by saying that both my dad and my (late) mom have always been pretty supportive of our family choices. I know there are certain things dad just doesn't "get" (like he really, really wanted me to give my 2 year (only 20 lbs) otc cough medicine last weekend and I wouldn't). But he is doesn't push and just offers his opinon once. My thoughts lately are of his health. I've been urging him to eat less white bread and watch for hfcs. I've tried to share with him different supplements he can take for muscle pain and such. I keep telling him the 70spf sunscreen he uses ON his skin cancer removal scars actually CAUSES cancer and I've bought and given to him other kinds but I swear he thinks I'm crazy sometimes. Now I have been hearing a lot about the danger of taking long term statins and I know for a fact that my dad has been on choleterol lowering drugs since I was in highschool! I am scared for his health and wish so much that he would get another opinion and try lifestyle changes instead. But he is one to take what his dr says withouth question.

    How much do you involve yourself in your parent's health? I usually stay out of things unless someone asks me but he's my DAD and I want him around for as long as possible. I don't want to be nag.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Little Slice of Country Paradise
    Posts
    41,200

    Default

    My dad is so STUBBORN. Anytime I mention anything health related he makes a comment about how we all have to die some day and some sooner than others. He is such a royal pain and it can cause a fight if I push it.
    Our Family <3 Est. July 2007 <3
    Samuel (5 years), Elliott (3 years), and Evelyn (1 year).

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    14,694

    Default

    none because I wouldn't want someone doing that to me. And I know my dad especially will NOT change. At most I will pass along articles I find interesting or useful....but they are used to me doing that with mine line of work.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  4. #4

    Default

    I don't push. I will offer/suggest/mention more than once, but after that what else can I do? My MIL for instance-- she'll take essential oils, has even started buying them with us because they've worked so well for her, but I'm sure I will be prying packets of Equal and Splenda and Sweet & Low out of her cold, dead hands. She will not give them up for nothing. She won't use stevia instead, she has to put soooo much in her tea to make it sweet as the crap sweeteners that it ends up bitter. I mention it often, encourage her to stop the sweetener completely and let her taste buds go back to normal before she tries something else, but she won't do it.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,921

    Default

    We talk about latest research, but that's about it. My dad is on Statins too, and he has the muscle pain associated with it (http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/254608.php). We've talked about it, but he has to choose between his heart and his other muscles, and he chooses his heart. In his case, there are no other good options, because there is a strong history of dead people due to heart disease, and other stuff doesn't work.

  6. #6

    Default

    I don't try to change my parents or involve myself in their lifestyle choices. My dad is a major alcoholic and very heavy smoker. He works all the time and has lived hard. He recently had double hip replacement surgery. His doctors talked to him about how important it was for him to cut down on his smoking and stop drinking in order to survive the surgery. He may have cut down some, but went right back when the surgery was over. He has been hospitalized for having blood in his urine and bowels. He knows his health is bad. He's going to die young. He is 56 now. My mom is in great health. She hasn't always been. I grew up eating lots of white bread and processed foods. About 10 years ago, she decided she wanted to be healthy. She started eating better and walking and working out and lost about 50lbs in a year. She has maintained it very well. I tell her the things we do like not eating HFCS and cutting way down on processed foods and why. If she looks into it and decides it's worthwhile she will follow suit. She doesn't drink or smoke. My stepdad otoh, is very overweight. He smokes pretty heavily. He works outdoors all the time and has had skin cancer twice. He still doesn't wear sunscreen. My mom tries to get him to eat better but his attitude is if it's healthy then that means he can eat twice as much of it. Something happened to him recently. Not sure what it was, but he has gotten more serious about eating better. My parents live in the country and they have a garden and chickens. They don't eat much processed food simply because they're used to growing their own most of the time. My inlaws are the ones who we are more concerned with. My mil has high cholesterol and is borderline diabetic and my fil has chronic issues with his sinuses and back. They eat nothing but crap. White bread, whole milk, white pasta, lots of pork and potatoes and almost no vegetables at all. Her dr even told her that she could control her cholesterol by making small changes to her diet and exercising and she told him she'd rather take the meds. My sil married into a wealthier family and her inlaws are doctors. They eat healthy and her husband is in culinary school. He has taught my sil to eat better and she's a nurse now so nutrition is more important. She tries to introduce ideas to her parents to eat better and they're gradually making changes now. Mil let me know several months ago that the now drink 2% milk and whole grain bread which is a big step for them. My philosophy is to live my life my way and offer an explanation if it comes up. If they see it working for us and want to change they will. If they don't then they know the consequences.

    Eta, my biggest issue with my mom is that she's a sun worshiper. She loves to fish and scallop and swim and doesn't wear sunblock and will lie out in the sun. Drives me crazy. She looks older than she should. She's gone through a melanoma scare with my stepdad and she continues to not wear sunscreen. When my kids got old enough to stay at her house it was a major issue with her over sunscreen, but I finally put my foot down and told her sunscreen or no time with the kids in the summer and now she is vigilant over it.
    Last edited by MaryJane; 03-09-2013 at 08:49 PM.
    Mary Jane, doula and mom of Vada, Brynna, Tea, Moira, Kyan, Ambria, Aslan, and Anakin.
    “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” ~ Dr. Seuss

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    14,694

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    We talk about latest research, but that's about it. My dad is on Statins too, and he has the muscle pain associated with it (http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/254608.php). We've talked about it, but he has to choose between his heart and his other muscles, and he chooses his heart. In his case, there are no other good options, because there is a strong history of dead people due to heart disease, and other stuff doesn't work.
    I would make the same choice between the two as well. Now if my cholesterol wasn't THAT high but more borderline, I might make a different choice. And certainly would be ok with statins if I didn't have any issues with them. Not everyone who takes a particular drug is going to issues so maybe statins are perfectly fine and the right choice for your dad Bridget.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,052

    Default

    If I am asked I will give my opinion but I don't push. My mum has type two diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and glaucoma. She also weighs about 100lb! She is 4'9". Diet changes resulted in her dropping her weight too low so she is on medications for all of her conditions. As are all five of her siblings.
    I really don't see what else she can do. She does however, encourage me to eat healthier and lose weight. Sadly, I don't weigh anywhere near 100lb....

  9. #9

    Default

    I talk a lot to my parents but they listen and don't mind. I barely mention anything to my inlaws - they probably think I am a little crazy
    KEVIN (6) & MATTHEW (4)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •