I'm with Kate - I think consistent spaciness is often a way to be inconsiderate and selfish without getting the blowback. I had a friend who would often make plans with me (and this happened to others as well) and then would just go out with anyone who last asked her. She just couldn't say no to anyone which meant that she would make everyone mad except the person who actually went out with her (the last asker). I wasn't great friends with her after high school, just seeing her occasionally with other friends, etc. But she found out I was getting married in Santa Fe the same weekend that she and some of her friends (who I actively dislike) were there. She invited herself to my wedding which was family ONLY - 26 people total. She begged to be invited and I told her that she could come but that because it was a family only wedding I didn't want anyone else to come with her - like I didn't want people I hated to crash my wedding and get drunk! These were and are all alcoholics, all they do is drink. Anyway, she never showed up. She totally blew off my wedding. Apparently she called the hotel room at 5:30, wedding STARTS at 6, and said that something came up and she wouldn't be able to make it. I haven't really talked to her since then. I thought it was so rude and ugly that I can't get around it. She emailed me once about it since then and said that she hoped I wasn't made about it but that one day we need to talk about how uncomfortable it was for HER. Nope. Not going to give you that one. My wedding that you invite yourself to and then don't show up for (very conspicuously since you are the only non family member invited) and I'm supposed to feel sorry for you? No. I'm still mad about that. new paragraph Anyway, a long-winded response to say that dizzy space cadets get a pass for behavior that others would get in trouble for and I think over time it makes them think that acting that way is okay to the point of doing something crappy like the above.
"Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov