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Thread: SAHMs/ or if Dh is a SAHD and Money

  1. #1
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    Default SAHMs/ or if Dh is a SAHD and Money

    A silly way to say this is paid an "allowance"? Do you just go and get what you want within reason?
    Do you ever ask "permission" so to speak?
    If your DH is a SAHD the same questions would follow

    1. I don't get an "allowance" I just get things that I need and spend a small amount on myself from time to time because we don't have very much fun money for now.

    2. Answer above*

    3. I do ask my husband though he doesn't care I still always "consult" him so to speak if there is a big purchase.

    4. We are both open about every little dollar we spend and we both our on the checking account we use an online type of bank to see all transactions.



  2. #2
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    No I dont get an allowance. I just buy what I need when I need it. Just 2 weeks ago I spent $100 on new clothing, I needed new pants but I wanted new shirts. He did not bat an eye.



  3. #3
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    I am a SAHM but I handle all our bills. DH just takes out some cash in case he needs to buy lunch on the run or something like that (so I guess he gets an allowance ). Our general agreement is that we don't make any large purchases without consulting each other but "large purchase" is not defined as any specific amount. I would say it is stuff you don't buy every day - e.g. a new computer. In reality, beyond food and general household items I buy, we rarely buy anything without each other's knowledge or talking about it first.

  4. #4
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    We kind of both get an allowance. We use a certain amount of cash each week. Any extra goes into a surplus which we use when we run out of weekly money.

    We don't buy a lot of stuff for ourselves. We are kind of simple. Don't want a lot, seem to have what we need.

    I stash away money we get for xmas and our anniversary and put it towards things we need for the house - like this year we will probably buy a new BBQ and lawnmower.

    We try to use our gift money to buy items we are really pining after. I saved up money from xmas, my bday and mother's day to buy my camera like 2 years ago. Now I have a little stash that I will use to pay for yoga classes or buy some new clothes after I lose weight. But really if I needed clothes I would just buy them. Same with him.

    He is the one who will generally consult me about purchases because I handle the money. I tell him if I am buying something big.
    Thing 1 (7), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (20M)

  5. #5
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    I'm a SAHM. I don't get an allowance, I just buy what I need when I need it. If we need something that is expensive, either we go to get it together, or discuss it first. I pay the bills too. I'm not a shopper, and don't buy much unless its something we really need. We actually have separate checking accounts, but a join savings account and we put money in it every month. We do have a credit card though that we usually use, and can see what each other buys, but it gets paid off every month too.
    Last edited by Adhafera; 01-31-2013 at 05:39 PM.
    Jennifer


  6. #6

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    SAHM here. I do all bills and track all accounts. So I feel like he is the one asking for permission! Hah. He has access to everything just doesn't worry about it at all. I could definitely make big purchases without him but it's not my personality. I have to talk about everything and agonize over it. On the other hand I would go nuts if he made a big purchase wihtout me.
    Married 7/10/04.


  7. #7

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    We both work, but I make a lot more than my husband (doctor/public school teacher). We pretty much keep our money separate and buy our own stuff. I pay the mortgage and for preschool etc, and the bills for the house. Whoever is at the store buys groceries. We each buy our own clothes, vehicles, insurance. Neither of us is very materialistic so we just kind of wing it. We have been winging it for 20 years now and it has worked so far. But, we have very similar spending habits and very similar philosophies on debt etc. If we weren't so like-minded we would need a more formal plan.

  8. #8
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    We both work, I make almost double what DH does....and really I do not buy anything without talking about it first. Pretty much anything over like $20 except groceries. he doesn't buy anything really at all without talking about it first. All the accounts are joint and we pretty much discuss everything we buy other than a pop at work. Like if I was going shopping for clothes, he knows about it. I might come home with $200 if I had a great trip...most of the time I find nothing. I was recently thinking about getting a kindle but he wasn't for the idea so much....I didn't buy the kindle. We really for the most part do not buy each other presents. Been working pretty well for 10 years.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  9. #9

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    I just buy what I want. I guess if I want something more pricey, I tell him. Mostly because he is always looking for gift ideas for me! Dh wouldn't mind if I bought myself something expensive but I would never buy spend money that we couldn't afford. We see eye to eye on the bottom line, so we don't discuss the details very much.
    My 3 yo cuties!

  10. #10

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    Dbf is the main breadwinner in our family. He can be kind of a hard ass about money and does sort of an attitude about it sometimes but it's not nearly like it used to be. He's gotten better about understanding that it shouldn't be his and mine but ours. I do run all big purchases by him and any lessons for the kids. It's been rare that he has been able to talk me out of a purchase as I put a lot of thought into things before I buy them. The most important reason I run things by him is that he is the king of craigslist and he will almost always be able to find a better deal on just about anything big. He is the kind of guy that likes to think that he's in charge and running the show so if I tell him that I want to buy something, that almost always lights a fire under his ass and he wants to be able to be the one to take care of it.
    He also likes to be very dramatic about prices like when I tell him how much piano lessons are he will be like OMG that's so much even though I know he really has no idea what or how piano lessons are priced and I know I can just call him bluff and say we won't do it then and he'll say, "No, no go ahead." Then he feels like a hero.
    I guess that doesn't amount to much of a system but it is what it is.

  11. #11

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    I do not get an allowance. I am a SAHM, and I am the saver. DH is the spender, so he knows I will not spend too much money and I am always looking for ways to save money. For big purchases, I try to include him on the decision, but he usually doesnt want to deal with it.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by impatient View Post
    I am a SAHM but I handle all our bills. DH just takes out some cash in case he needs to buy lunch on the run or something like that (so I guess he gets an allowance ). Our general agreement is that we don't make any large purchases without consulting each other but "large purchase" is not defined as any specific amount. I would say it is stuff you don't buy every day - e.g. a new computer. In reality, beyond food and general household items I buy, we rarely buy anything without each other's knowledge or talking about it first.
    This exactly
    Autumn (me) Darren () Naheana () Mahikoa () La'i () & Mana'o ()

  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by i.<3.cheesysmiles View Post
    I do not get an allowance. I am a SAHM, and I am the saver. DH is the spender, so he knows I will not spend too much money and I am always looking for ways to save money. For big purchases, I try to include him on the decision, but he usually doesnt want to deal with it.
    This is us too, exactly. I let him know when I'm going to be spending more than usual. Like buying new clothes for the kids, paying for classes, curriculum--stuff that happens just a few times a year. Or if I was going to buy a piece of furniture or something. But it is informing, rather than seeking permission.

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by impatient View Post
    I am a SAHM but I handle all our bills. DH just takes out some cash in case he needs to buy lunch on the run or something like that (so I guess he gets an allowance ). Our general agreement is that we don't make any large purchases without consulting each other but "large purchase" is not defined as any specific amount. I would say it is stuff you don't buy every day - e.g. a new computer. In reality, beyond food and general household items I buy, we rarely buy anything without each other's knowledge or talking about it first.
    Pretty much this! Except it even includes things like food, because he is a HUGE spender and will literally spend $800 a MONTH on food- he likes to treat his friends. And not to McDonald's...

    ETA: He doesn't have to consult me every time he buys food, I just remind him monthly that he can't go spending that much, and he does well. Sort of.
    Last edited by Krystal5; 01-31-2013 at 11:01 PM.



  15. #15

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    I was staying home until the summer and now I work 2 days/week. Moneywise, we put everything in the same account and we both spend carefully. We run by each other large purchases.
    KEVIN (6) & MATTHEW (4)

  16. #16
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    We have a practical, functioning budget. I'm a sahm and neither of us get an allowance...we spend within the allotted amount each month and consult with each other before making personal purchases not planned for . We have a fantastic online spreadsheet tool through our credit union. Dh used to do an excel spreadsheet but now it's all done online and I love it!

    Dh is the saver and I'm the spender .
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by impatient View Post
    I am a SAHM but I handle all our bills. DH just takes out some cash in case he needs to buy lunch on the run or something like that (so I guess he gets an allowance ). Our general agreement is that we don't make any large purchases without consulting each other but "large purchase" is not defined as any specific amount. I would say it is stuff you don't buy every day - e.g. a new computer. In reality, beyond food and general household items I buy, we rarely buy anything without each other's knowledge or talking about it first.
    This is pretty much us, too.

    We budget out our expenses, and beyond that pretty much anything else is discussed, even if its just a casual "Hey, I'm going to stop and grab such and such, you ok with that?" If we weren't on such a tight budget, it might be different, but little stuff adds up.
    We used to budget in "splurge" money for each of us. I liked doing that. Lately, though, any extra money we've had has been spent on bigger ticket items we both want/need, like holiday gifts, computer parts or a couch, etc. I would like to go back to having individual splurge money, though. Its nice to have a set amount that doesn't need any approval. lol

  18. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by impatient View Post
    I am a SAHM but I handle all our bills. DH just takes out some cash in case he needs to buy lunch on the run or something like that (so I guess he gets an allowance ). Our general agreement is that we don't make any large purchases without consulting each other but "large purchase" is not defined as any specific amount. I would say it is stuff you don't buy every day - e.g. a new computer. In reality, beyond food and general household items I buy, we rarely buy anything without each other's knowledge or talking about it first.
    This is pretty much us too.
    Angela, Andrew & Nicholas

    Three sweet angels in heaven

  19. #19

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    I'm a SAHM right now and I do not get an allowance. I handle the bills. We discuss large purchases. And we both usually buy whatever we want. I tend to not spend as much as I used to since I don't make any money but if I need something then I don't hesitate to get it.

  20. #20

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    DH is now a SAHD but it hasn't really changed much. For big purchases (1 item greater than $100), we check with each other, but if I'm at target and I pick up a few clothing items for the kids and myself and storage bins for the house and a dvd or something for the kids and it adds up to more than $100, I don't call and ask him. I rarely buy anything for myself, it's almost all kid/house stuff anyway. He does the same. For bigger purchases, we discuss it and I usually do a ton of research to find the best deal.
    AKA Lisa724

  21. #21

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    I am a SAHM ... and while I do have to ask Dh for money since we don't keep it in a bank and he is the one that keeps it I don't really consider it asking permission or getting an allowance. I just tell him I this is how much money I need for grocery's and he gives it to me. Sometimes he does give me some crap about trying to keep the grocery bill low. I mean I guess you could say he's the "boss" of the money and I'm sure if I wanted to buy things besides grocery's he'd probably want to make sure we could afford it. However this issue doesn't really come up since I almost never buy any thing besides grocery's and gas. Really we only spend money on needs, so there isn't much room for argument. Even once we are down in Florida and he will be making much more money a his new job I really don't see us spending it on anything besides actual needs... we're not really big shoppers lol. If there is something bigger that we need to get for ourselves, the house, or the kids it is always discussed.



  22. #22

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    As long as I have a general idea if we can affor it without causing a problem I will buy things as I want/need them up to I don't know $50. Anything over that I will talk about it with my husband first...same goes for him.

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (5 1/2) and Jericho (3)
    My Blog!

  23. #23

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    No, I don't get an allowance.

    We live well below our means, our house is modest, we only have one vehicle (a sedan) that we still make payments on and it is almost paid off, it gives us a lot of "free"money. If I need something, I buy it. If I want something for myself (a rare occurrence) I will usually tell DH "I'm going to get X". If I want something non-essential for the kids I will usually just go ahead and get it if we have the money then tell him after. Like Wednesday I signed my oldest up for TKD and told my DH after the fact, though he did know we were going for a trial lesson.

    For big purchases (over 200) we usually consult one another.

    We are planning on building a house a few years down the road, I know that we will have to start budgeting after that. I will likely make allowances for groceries, bills and recreational money a month.
    Megan (29) and Jayson (31) Happily married 9 years



  24. #24
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    We both work and we follow the Dave Ramsey budget program. We use an envelope system with specific uses. We both are 'allowed' x$ weekly to blow on food, DH get cash, and mine comes from payroll deduction from our cafeteria at work. We also have just a fund for blow money, as following DR has taught us if we have bills paid, make sure to budget for blow money. Our weekly food budget (includes going out to eat and pizza) carries over from week to week so some weeks we have a surplus and others we don't. Having said that, we need to tighten our strings much more and start really watching it because while we have the cash, we also use the debit card and that is not accounted for (even though we definately have it). I like our cash/envelope system as we know we have set amount to spend as the goal. In less than a year, we have become almost 100% debt free. Working on the car and student loans now.
    Phoebe Grace 6-22-11; 37.5" and 26.2# at 2 years old! She is my wild child!
    Me & Geoff, 40; DD Phoebe, our June Bug

  25. #25

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    I work part time. But I use my money for groceries, diapers, kid stuff, etc. I usually don't spend money on myself (maybe 10% of what I make every month or so). DH handles the bills and if I hand him my credit card bill, he pays that too.

  26. #26

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    I'm a SAHM but I work from home very part time (I'm a consultant, I don't get a consistent paycheck). DH takes care of all the bills (I did for the first 6 years we were together, he's done it for the last 4 years because it was just too much for me--- his spending habits were atrocious back then!!!!.) I don't have an allowance. I basically spend what I want for the house and to buy things for Emme. For expenses that are a little bigger than normal (like if I need clothes, or Emme needs a whole new wardrobe when the weather's changing, or I want new expensive sheets) I usually let DH know what my plan is for it, how much I think I'll spend so he can budget for it. But I don't feel like I go overboard. I certainly spend more than some others do on extra unnecessary things, but it's usually stuff for Emme- books, toys, art supplies, stuff like that.

  27. #27

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    Dh works and I SAHM. We don't do allowances and I usually talk to him before spending money. If we have extra money than sometimes he will give me some money to go spend on myself.



  28. #28

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    Quote Originally Posted by impatient View Post
    I am a SAHM but I handle all our bills. DH just takes out some cash in case he needs to buy lunch on the run or something like that (so I guess he gets an allowance ). Our general agreement is that we don't make any large purchases without consulting each other but "large purchase" is not defined as any specific amount. I would say it is stuff you don't buy every day - e.g. a new computer. In reality, beyond food and general household items I buy, we rarely buy anything without each other's knowledge or talking about it first.
    This.

    I do work but I don't make anything close to what DH makes. DH doesn't "care" about money, he just wants to know if we have enough so when things get tight I'll just let him know, "Hey, we're running low until payday," and he compensates his spending. I am the general spender, when he wants to buy something it's usually at least $150 and he'll just say, "Do we have enough that I can order xyz?"

  29. #29

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    I am a SAHM and we both spend freely (within our means!). We combined our money when I was working and have always had this system. I will admit it was very weird and I felt a little strange when I first stopped working and was spending money on anything - myself, groceries, now the kids, etc. - but that passed pretty quickly! lol


    Anne (37) DH (37) Olivia (4) Harrison (1)

  30. #30

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    I'm a SAHM and I buy/spend as needed. Any big purchases we talk about not bc he makes me, just bc that is how we are we talk about most things!

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