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Thread: Court

  1. #1
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    Default Court

    I would have just posted this in another thread instead of blowing up the forum with so many threads but it's hard to update so anyone sees it so I figured I'd go ahead and make a new thread.

    We finally had court yesterday and I think it went pretty well but it was rough. We had to wait a little while and there were people there for mom who we didn't know anything about so there was a little awkwardness. Everyone was nice and polite though. We found out there were actually two petitions filed but were told that neither one of them had a favorable home study and that everyone, CASA, GAL, and SW are against baby girl going anywhere else right now. They did grant visitation to the two people petitioning but they said that's standard practice and if/when they get their petitions turned down they won't get visitation anymore. One of them is the lady mom lives with (never going to happen) and the other one is her oldest son's grandmother from his dad's side. I think age and health is a factor there but she seems like a very sweet lady so we'll see how it goes at visitation next week.

    There was also a man there that they ordered to take a DNA test so I have to take baby girl next Tuesday to get her cheek swabbed. If this isn't the dad poor mom has to testify to who else it might be. We're supposed to go back to court to get the ruling on the petitions and DNA test Feb 25th. They did say though to expect her to be here until July at least which is when the next foster care review is.

    One thing that we don't know how to take at all is that mom has discussed a few times signing away her rights. Apparently she told the home mom that if she couldn't have baby girl I was the only person she'd want to raise her. I don't know how serious she is about this, or if they'd allow her to do it even if she did make the decision. She brought it up to the CASA worker at court yesterday so I guess we'll see what comes of it. It was a very hard day for her though so I just hope she gets a little emotional break if that's even possible in this situation.

    Overall, right now it seems to be in our favor and the chances for adoption in the future seem to be pretty good but things can change at any time so we'll just have to wait and see.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  2. #2

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    I have been following your story. Thank you for the update. I wish there wasn't so much uncertainty but thank goodness that little girl is safe in your arms. I hope that soon you won't have to worry about all of this any longer.

  3. #3

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    This will continue to change with many ups and downs. I hope that you can focus on each day and that the time with this baby brings you joy. Fingers crossed for what's to come...

  4. #4
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    I would really take it as a positive that mom is thinking about signing away rights and wants you to raise her. That would speed up the process for sure towards adoption. If she is willing, the state would generally go for it because the sooner she off the state financially the better.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  5. #5
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    I'm sure there may be many changes and ups and downs...feels like that's happened already and it's been less than 3 months. I do still think, as of now anyway, we have a pretty good chance, but there are still a lot of unknowns mostly surrounding the birth father and whether or not they find him and what his family will want to do if they find him. Even if they don't, we may have to wait up to 12 months to give them time to look for him. Not sure about that. Looks like mom's family is out as ever being able to care for her, which is why her other kids are with other people. I guess there's a history of abuse there as well so no chance CPS will allow a child back into that family unless it's with mom.


    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    I would really take it as a positive that mom is thinking about signing away rights and wants you to raise her. That would speed up the process for sure towards adoption. If she is willing, the state would generally go for it because the sooner she off the state financially the better.
    I sure hope you're right! The CASA representative said she thinks they'd allow it. There was some speculation about it and whether or not it could be taken seriously in court, but I think what you say is probably true. Of course, I'm not sure if mom mentioned it when she was on meds and we're pretty sure she's off now so they would probably want her back on meds and stable for a while first and see how she still feels about it all. This woman breaks my heart. If we adopt, I want to make sure this child knows how much her mom loves her and wants her. It's just such a sad situation.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  6. #6
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    I'm sure that this varies by state but that was basically what happened with my cousin. His birth mom agreed to terminate IF my aunts adopted him. She was in jail and didn't the mental issues that your girls birth mom does so that might factor in like you said. Even with his birth mom agreeing though....his adoption wasn't final until he was about 18 months old. My other cousin went through the process as well with the courts terminating and her's took two years. My aunts had both kids as infants and newborns (one a day old and the other was two months old).

    I so much have my everything crossed that baby girl gets to stay with you. It absolutely sounds like the best thing for her.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  7. #7

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    Praying that they will decide to let you adopt ASAP

  8. #8
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    I don't think I could hope any harder that she gets to stay with you and your DH. I'm praying for you Leah! Thanks for the updates from a major stalker lol!

  9. #9

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    Praying for you!!



  10. #10

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    Stalking here too! Your update sounds so promising! I know you need to be guarded about your emotions when it comes to all the uncertainty, but I'm cheering for you! It really does sound like the best choice for baby girl's well-being for her to stay with you. I pray that the courts and all involved will agree after all the legal steps have been taken!!

  11. #11

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    What a roller coaster Leah! Sounds like a mess of a situation for baby girls bio family. Fingers crossed that something good transpires for you three in the near future. Mom shows signs of being competent and knows you all are good for the baby. Not sure who will listen to her but praying that this ends in your favor!

    Mommy to Piper 6/5/09 and an 11/2011
    Make a pregnancy ticker

  12. #12

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    Following your story, too. The ups and downs have to be maddening...I hope and pray that baby girl stays with you forever. Thanks for keeping us updated!




  13. #13
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    Thank you everyone for the continued support! I don't know what I'd do without all of the prayers and positive thoughts! I swear we can feel them on a daily basis!

    Quote Originally Posted by Babidol View Post
    What a roller coaster Leah! Sounds like a mess of a situation for baby girls bio family. Fingers crossed that something good transpires for you three in the near future. Mom shows signs of being competent and knows you all are good for the baby. Not sure who will listen to her but praying that this ends in your favor!
    The CASA representative seems to think she's competent enough for it and she knows the case very well. I guess it just depends on who all is involved and what they all think. She could always change her mind tomorrow though I'm not sure she's made it up yet anyway. I think right now she's just considering the possibility. I want her to take her time though and not feel like anyone is pushing her to make a decision. I certainly won't mention a word of it to her. I feel kind of protective of her since court. She just looked so defeated and she told me she was so nervous and I feel like they talked about everyone else involved and acted like she wasn't even there. That had to hurt.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  14. #14

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    So glad it went well for you, Leah! I've been following your story here too. Baby Girl is so lucky to have you.


  15. #15

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    That's a pretty good day at court. I will keep you and baby girl in our prayers!!

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