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Thread: Stop/start crying

  1. #1
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    Default Stop/start crying

    How do you handle a baby that cries for 10-20 seconds and then stops? DD3 does this all.the.time and I am not sure if I should intervene or not. I have been trying to leave her be and let her work things out herself in attempt to get her to self soothe/settle because we have been having issues with her not being able to be rocked or nursed to sleep. She actually sleeps really well in her crib for naps but when I put her down for the night I never know what I will get. Sometimes she goes down without a peep and sometimes she will cry on and off in 30 second intervals. This may go on for 5 mins or 15 mins but always stopping in between. I can see her on the video monitor and she is putting a paci in her mouth and quieting down but then will start up again.

    She also kind of does this in the middle of the night. The other night she started crying so I got up to nurse her and by the time I got to her room she settled down and went back to sleep. It happened like every hour and a half though. Last night the same thing happened when it was DH's turn to give her a bottle....every time he heated it up she went back to sleep - it happened like 5 times and she didn't end up getting the bottle until 6am!

    Anyone have a baby like this?
    Last edited by macksmom; 01-27-2013 at 07:51 PM.
    Thing 1 (7), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  2. #2

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    I think I'd leave her be if it's not lasting more than a half hour or so. It sounds like she's working out self soothing, and I think that's a blessing!



  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by mla View Post
    I think I'd leave her be if it's not lasting more than a half hour or so. It sounds like she's working out self soothing, and I think that's a blessing!
    It is probably a good thing but it's a little disruptive and upsetting. It's a good amount of crying! But it's just not straight through. I worry the other kids are being disturbed by it but I haven't heard any complaints and I don't think it's woken them up. Just now it went on for a while...maybe 20 mins? So I finally went in and just patted her back and she stopped and it looked like she was out. Now 5 mins later she is doing it again.

    I guess I didn't think self soothing involved so much crying? I thought the idea was to sooth yourself without crying!

    She does have the tendency to cry when she is trying to fall asleep - even in the car or when she is being held or worn.
    Thing 1 (7), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  4. #4
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    I think it sounds like the solid ground work for self-soothing. She's recognizing/acknowledging that she's bored/just woke suddenly/startled/knows she's alone and then doing something that gives her comfort. I actually loved when we got to that point because it gave me a better idea of what my baby needed from me. When Keira cried and didn't stop after 10-30 seconds I KNEW she needed me to come to her. When she fussed and stopped, even if she did it again and again, I knew I could roll over and wait it out and usually get back to sleep without her ever actually needing anything from me.

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  5. #5

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    Oh, I don't doubt it's unsettling, but I really do think that she's working things out. And if it's not bothering the other kids, I'd say let her continue to do so. I wish I could allow a bit more of the self soothing bit w/my babies, but if Laney cries for any length of time, it wakes Alex up. Luckily, Laney doesn't wake from Alex crying (probably because he's just generally so fussy that she's learned to tune him out ).



  6. #6
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    I also would let her be. My first did that some and grew out of it. Sometimes as she got older she'd do it at nap time - cry, pause and look at the door to see if I was coming, cry again, etc for about five minutes before just giving up and going to sleep. We have a video monitor and it was amusing to watch that play out.
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  7. #7

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    Let her be. My son (8 mo) sometimes goes down to bed without a cry, but some nights he will fuss for 5-15 minutes. He always fusses loudest just before he gives up, too. Its just his first form of a tantrum not getting what he wants (being rocked to sleep). My mom always said, babies don't die from crying, their lungs just get stronger. Good luck!

  8. #8

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    if it's 20-30 seconds and it's after she's gone to sleep, it may just be self-soothing. She wakes during her cycles (as we all do) and in the barely-awake haze, she cries, maybe somewhat aware that whatever comfort she had in going to sleep isn't there... then she falls back asleep (as most of us do). That's a good thing. We don't usually cry, but some kids can. It may get to a point where she wakes herself up completely in which case, there's sleep training that you can do to help her through it. Or maybe she simply gets used to sleeping through the night. I would just let her be so she can continue resting.

  9. #9
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    I would let her be as long as it was not getting her more worked up. DD2 is one of those that goes to sleep better if left alone, except for naps unfortunately She is 2 now and still on occassion will wake up and cry for about 30 seconds or so and then stop and settle herself fine and go back to sleep.


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  10. #10

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    Libby does the same thing, except it's not a full-fledged cry. Typically it's a fuss/whimper, she finds her paci, and then conks back out. I leave her alone, unless it's a full-fledged cry. At that point, it lasts longer that 10-20 seconds, but I really don't let her go much longer than the time it takes me to get to her.

    I agree with letting her work through it.




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    Quote Originally Posted by DucksLikeRain View Post
    I think it sounds like the solid ground work for self-soothing. She's recognizing/acknowledging that she's bored/just woke suddenly/startled/knows she's alone and then doing something that gives her comfort. I actually loved when we got to that point because it gave me a better idea of what my baby needed from me. When Keira cried and didn't stop after 10-30 seconds I KNEW she needed me to come to her. When she fussed and stopped, even if she did it again and again, I knew I could roll over and wait it out and usually get back to sleep without her ever actually needing anything from me.

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  12. #12

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    My DD2 does this all the time! I stopped going in to her unless she really starts crying. If you can, I would leave her to self-soothe.
    Carrie(34), DH(35), married for 5 years

  13. #13
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    Thanks for all the replies. It seems unanimous lol! She did great tonight and all day with her naps. But last night she was crying out - not even really crying just kind of saying, "ahhhhh". It was about 4:30am. I let it go and she was quiet within 5 minutes but then started up again at 5:30am. She did this the past 2 nights and it would amount to her doing this every hour. I went in this morning at the 5:30 one and nursed and changed her and she slept until 8:30 So part of me wonders if it's best to go in the first time? She also cried out around 12 and I was just about to go to bed so I hoped on that thinking I could feed her and get a few hours of sleep. It seemed to work because she slept until 4:30. So that is just confusing...

    The other start/stop crying (like when I first put her down for the night) I agree I should let her work out on her own. It varies in it's intensity and on the louder nights really gets to me. But it rarely lasts very long. Last night was just a bad one I guess....
    Last edited by macksmom; 01-28-2013 at 08:44 PM.
    Thing 1 (7), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (2)

  14. #14
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    If it's her first waking in a stretch of a number of hours (like the 4:30 one) I would certainly give changing/nursing a try. Since that seemed to be something she needed at 5:30 chances are she would have responded at 4:30 and then slept until pretty close to 8:30, giving you a nice chunk of sleep, too. That's what I would do, and save the waiting it out for when she's initially going down, and if it's been less than 3ish hours in the night Good luck!

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