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Thread: Learned a little more...and can you say yikes???

  1. #1
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    Default Learned a little more...and can you say yikes???

    Well today was interesting. After only two hours of sleep due to me being a worry wort and a little baby girl who didn't want to sleep anymore this morning, I took her to the doc for her 2 month wellness check. She got three shots. It was horrible and I cried. I might have cried as much as her. Makes me want to cry when I think about it. Anyway, I talked to her doc some and she verified that baby girl's brother is with his dad. So....they must not have the same dad or he would have taken her. He isn't the one who filed the petition either so we still don't know who that is, but it's not someone who has the child anyway. There is an older child but his father passed away a long time ago and I don't know who he's with so I suppose that's possible but they seem to think that she's lost touch with him completely.

    So that encouraged us a little though I'm still worried and still trying to prepare myself for anything. When we got to the visit today, mom acted a little weird and she gave me an envelope. I figured it was from the SW or something and opened it when I got out to my car. It was a letter from mom saying thank you for caring for her child and then after that accusing us of giving her pictures of another child instead of pics of her child. She gave back ALL of the pics we've given her over the last two months which was a lot and the album we gave her. She wanted me to look through the pics, pick out the ones that were not her child, and replace them with ones of her child. She went on to say that she'd had some problems that she thought we may be aware of and getting pics that weren't of her child really bugged her. So...needless to say this freaked me out and I didn't get it at all. I looked at the pics to see if somehow she'd gotten some of another kid in the family mixed in them and was maybe confused but nope...all baby girl and all ones we took.

    So...after finally getting ahold of someone at DSS before I went back to pick her up, I find out that she's apparently having a psychotic episode and is convinced that her children aren't her children like they're changelings or something. She thinks that someone is swapping out other people's kids for her kids. So she thinks this about her son too. She thinks his dad isn't his dad and she said she wished his dad would bring him to visits instead of some guy she doesn't know...but it's his dad...so...yeah it was a little weird. It was a lot weird actually. I was concerned of saying the wrong thing if she confronted me about but they told me just to tell her I wasn't waiting to see what was in the envelope for my husband to get off work if she asked. Thankfully she didn't.

    When they asked her who told her her kids were getting switched she said "the men". So...voices too maybe? I don't know but to be honest it scared me. I didn't like leaving baby girl with her when she felt so awful already and the environment was so stressful. Mom is getting a psych evaluation tomorrow so I don't know what they'll do. Obviously, off of meds which they say is what always happens. I don't know if visits will be suspended. Seems like a big concern to me but I guess we'll have to see what happens. Yikes sums it up best.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  2. #2

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    I feel bad for saying this (kinda) but I wish no one had petitioned for her so that you guys would have a greater chance of getting her. It seems like there is no way that mom is going to be able to care for baby girl. When is the court date?
    Mommy to Lilliana (10/2006) & Summer (10/2011)!




  3. #3

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    Whatever you do Leah, don't argue with her over the delusions. For them this is all very real and very true and it won't do you any good to try and talk her out of them. I wouldn't give any more photos or books to her for now. It sounds like she is really sick. And yes, the side effects of the medications for schizophrenia are terrible and many people will opt to stop taking them. More than that, she is used to this being her normal....so "real life" is a very scary proposition for her and she may just not be able to mentally handle it. It is very scary. But she is getting help and you are doing the the most important thing that can be done right now, and that's take care of the baby.

    Praying all of this get worked out!

    Mommy to Piper 6/5/09 and an 11/2011
    Make a pregnancy ticker

  4. #4
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    Thanks for your responses and I was definitely afraid I'd respond in the wrong way. If she'd brought it up I wasn't about to argue with her. I know to her it's completely real. I just wanted to make sure I didn't unknowingly say something that would have been a bad thing. I was going to ask the SW about the pictures but I don't want to take any for a while anyway. I'd like to give her some cool down time or rather time to get back on meds hopefully and all of that. I didn't take any today because I just didn't get any good ones this week and boy am I glad now that I didn't take any in. She didn't confront me or act weird towards me really. Still polite but I could tell she wasn't herself. I'm sad for her because I can't imagine how awful that would be to be trapped inside your own head like that but she probably doesn't see it that way. More than anything though, I worry for baby girl. Seems like she doesn't have either of her kids with anyone on her side of the family so I just hope if she doesn't stay with us she goes to someone who can handle all of this.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  5. #5

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    She may not even remember giving you back the pictures when all is said and done. Just keep taking and keeping them and if the time comes when you need to give them to someone you can (and I pray you get to keep her!). It really sounds like she won't confront you and that is ok. I would just keep any conversations you have with her very simple and lacking any real detail. Are these supervised visits? Like someone else in the room with you guys? If so, that should help. I would also make copies of anything you get from her and let the SW have a copy and you keep a copy in your records or journals or whatever you are keeping. And just make sure if there isn't someone with you that you ask for someone to be available for your visit if you are nervous.

    Many families abandon individuals with psychosis. It's scary, it's very hard to understand, it's maddening for the people that have to watch her deteriorate, it's such a terrible disease.

    Just snuggle that little girl and surround her with all the love you have. That's all you can do for now. You're doing such a wonderful job!

    Mommy to Piper 6/5/09 and an 11/2011
    Make a pregnancy ticker

  6. #6

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    Wow, how disturbing for you! Sounds like you handled it well.



  7. #7
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    !

  8. #8

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    Very scary.



  9. #9
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    Thankfully when we do visits we just drop her off and so only see mom when we drop her off and pick her up. We always end up having contact with her though. We've never been and not seen her. Honestly, after this is she's still having issues I may see if there's a way to avoid that until we know she's on meds just to make it a little easier on everyone, assuming she still gets visits. I really don't know how they'd handle that. They had two people in there with her today, maybe more, but two that we know of. I still feel uneasy leaving baby girl there with her when she's having episodes. Doesn't seem safe to me.

    I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who finds it scary and disturbing. It is very sad for mom too, but right now all I can think about is protecting baby girl. I just hope she stays with us next week so we can at least know she's safe. I'm worried if she goes with fictive kin her chances aren't very good since it appears who filed is likely to be a friend of the mom's. Just enjoying her sweet smiles today and and every day and hoping for the best thing for her.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  10. #10

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    Good luck tomorrow (I think it's tomorrow) Fingers crossed!

    Jess

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