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Thread: Nervous

  1. #1

    Default Nervous

    Morning! I don't think I updated after our home visit. She said everytng went well and Chloe was blessed to be with us. She stopped by a few days later to pick up another letter of recommendation and told dh that she was recommend to the judge that we adopt. So everything is looking good there. Just waiting for a date!

    I'm friend's with the birth mom on fb. She wants to see dd and see that everyone is happy. Which I'm fine with - I'd like dd to be able to find her when she's older. Anyway, I also see her posts about her struggle with missing her girls. (She has a baby also who is with the dad - the have different fathers.) it's just hard to see her missing dd. Like this from last night, "I'm going to need NyQuil. The kind just meant to help put you to sleep, not for colds. I avoid thinking too much about Chloe because I can't handle the pain right now, but even the moments before I finally fall asleep are filled with pain, regret, and anger." She also posts about how she did the right thing, but these make me so nervous! She did post this Saturday, "The adoption WILL be final and I wish I could somehow assure her adoptive parents of that, but this pain I feel will never actually go away." I know she's hurting and I wish I could make it better.

    I'm rambling, but I can't vent on fb or talk about it in front of dd so you ladies get my jumbled thoughts! If you don't mind, say a quick prayer for birth mom please! Thanks.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    9,484

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    ! (((Hugs)))!!

    Praying for bmom!

    Adoption always means loss in some way and it's heart-rending! I never met ds's bmom but I felt like I was ripping fmom's baby from her (she had him from birth). I'm glad she doesn't have fb...it would have been so much harder!! She talked a lot during visitation about how hard it was going to be and she sent letters saying how much she missed him and how difficult it was...she didn't mean to make me feel badly but how could it not .

    Praying your court date comes soon and you can finalize asap so you can have some peace of mind. Maybe block her posts from your newsfeed? I've done that with some friends/family who I still wanted to be friends with but because I have kids who use the computer too I didn't want their frequent inappropriate-for-kids posts visible if I left my fb open.

    I did find ds's bfamily on fb (bmom doesn't have an acct) but haven't contacted them...not ready to open that door.

    Thinking of you momma and praying!
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  3. #3

    Default

    Is it possible to block yourself from seeing her status updates? I can't imagine how hard that is for you. Maybe it would be better that way, you know?
    Mommy to Lilliana (10/2006) & Summer (10/2011)!




  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Melting in the Desert Sun
    Posts
    4,117

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    I met my birthfather over Christmas and 34 years later, it's still hard and hurts for him. I think that pain just never truely goes away. I hope you're court date comes quickly and everything goes through smoothly.
    Julie, DH: W, DS: Mason, GGB Trips Amelia, Ellanor & Noah
    FFS "Baby C" disrupted fost/adopt of sibs Q,Z,J & K 9/10-3/11

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