I totally understand.
I totally understand.
I also tend to tell relatives that we just simply don't have space for all these gifts - which is true. My mom has toned down a lot because of that. So aside from not liking the idea of the sibling gift you can try that approach.
Thing 1 (6), Thing 2 (4), Thing 3 (10M)
It really sounds like her love language is gifts. If so, it might be very hard for her to stop. Instead of toys could she bring something like stickers, craft supplies, consumables of some sort? Those types of gifts could be fun for everyone, even your two year old, and would be used up.
Jessica (32) and Ryan (31). Madelyn born August 5, 2009 and Malachi born December 23, 2010. Lost a loved baby 02/29/12, 05/14/12 and 07/05/12 all due a serious allergic reaction to fabric softener.
Nope! Of course the boys both have July birthdays so we plan to do combined parties in the future for them.
Megan (28) and Jayson (31) Happily married 9 years
My niece and nephew are very close in age (about 15 months apart), and I got in the habit of getting each of them a gift on one of their birthdays and did that probably until they were 9 and 10. The one whose birthday it was got a bigger gift. Come to think of it, I've done that also on occasion for my brother's kids who are not so close in age (2 years 8 months apart). For example, I one time ordered a personalized book for my niece on her 5th birthday, and also sent her little sister some personalized stickers. I don't expect people to do the same for my kids, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it. (Actually, I don't necessarily want people to get my kids birthday gifts at all.) I just always thought it would feel nice for the other child to get a small gift, even if it wasn't his/her birthday and I don't thin gifts should be tied to birthdays anyway. But I also haven't read this full thread so my thoughts may be totally unrelated to what this conversation is about
That is more the approach DH has taken. It's really overwhelming how many toys we have. DS1 is actually helping sort and throw some out.Originally Posted by macksmom
I think it is her love language, and it's funny because it's not at all DH or mine. For Christmas/bday, she does give consumable gifts a lot.
Personal experience with this. My grandparents started this with my sister and I when we were babies (we're 16 months apart). DON'T DO IT! It created so much drama growing up. The birthday kid not feeling special, like they have their own day just for them. Once it started, there was no way to stop it. This drama went into our teen years.
Just my personal experience.
Shannon- 33 & DH/Dave- 40 TTC #1 since 5/2005
10 Failed Cycles (3-Clomid, 1-Clomid,Trigger,IUI, 4-Follitim,Trigger,IUI, 2-IVF)
Our Adoption Miracle! Matched 2/21/109 - Baby Due born 7/25/10!
And that is something I worry about. Like right now, DS2 is to little to understand that it is HIS special day, but I do worry that it will cause problems as they get older...especially if one of them perceives that the other is the favorite.
In my family, we never had "outside of the family" parties and up to a certain age, the siblings got a gift as well, not as "big" a gift and not as many, but they at least got one gift. It's hard for kids that little to understand that only the birthday child gets gifts, you know? I know there are lots of people that disagree with that way of doing things, and obviously everyone is entitled to do things the way that they feel is right, but that's what worked for us and what we always did.
Mind you, we only did this with the LITTLE kids. Once they got old enough to understand, then the siblings quit getting gifts.
Last edited by LanceBabe; 01-22-2013 at 08:30 PM.
Lynne, Grandma to three beautiful girls and one handsome little man!
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