b-day party wwyd

[froggie83]

yes. another one. lol
dd is turning one soon! her b-day is the day before easter
on the day she was born dh's uncle passed away (after a battle with cancer)
i want to have a party for dd.
dh's aunt wants to have an anniversary of her dh's passing family gathering thats seperate from easter. so they want to have 2 big family gatherings. then theres my parents that go out of town to my brothers house for easter (we no longer gather together for easter) so what do i do?
i want to have a b-day party for her the saturday after her b-day so i can be selfish and have it be just be me, dh ds and dd on her actual b-day (a saturday)
mil wants to have the big family easter on saturday her b-day and another gathering of just her kids/grandkids on easter sunday, and dh's sisters b-day is the second so mil will want to have a dinner for her b-day...
when would you plan your childs first b-day? dh said to just forget it because theres too much going on and you don't have first b-day parties for a second child.... (ds got a party for both his first and his second b-day)
and by party i mean lunch or dinner with cake and ice cream.
what would you do?

(i would prefer to see her eat her smash cake with just me, ds, dd, and dh. dd would definitely like that better too. we did it with ds and it was fun, when we did a second smash cake at his party he threw a fit and cried alot instead of having fun with it and i think it was because of so many people watching him.)

[tanyachap]

Can't you throw her a party the weekend before Easter?

[MomOfAnOnly]

Pick a day regardless of the holiday or whatever else is going on, and invite those you want to invite. Then don't sweat it.

We just had my DD's bday on a Tuesday. It was her actual birth day, it worked for us, we couldn't do it the weekend before or after because of other bday parties on those days, so middle of the week it was Worked out fine, there were actually more people here this year than last year when we had her party on a weekend.

[Scarlett]

Pick a day regardless of the holiday or whatever else is going on, and invite those you want to invite. Then don't sweat it.

We just had my DD's bday on a Tuesday. It was her actual birth day, it worked for us, we couldn't do it the weekend before or after because of other bday parties on those days, so middle of the week it was Worked out fine, there were actually more people here this year than last year when we had her party on a weekend.

ITA!! Oh and where do they get that you don't do the second childs first bday....wtf?

[angmichelle]

I say if you just want it to be you all, then have it which ever day the four of you can. And I would definitely do the smash cake. IMO, a one-year old birthday is definitely something to celebrate regardless of what number of child they are. Hope it all works out for you guys!

[preciousnd98]

I think you should plan the party the day you want with just the people you want. If any other family members have anything to say about it, you can always just put it on the fact that there are already so many family gatherings going on at that time and you didn't want to add another obligation for others.

[macksmom]

Do what you want! And of course everyone's 1st birthday should be celebrated!!!

[froggie83]

I say if you just want it to be you all, then have it which ever day the four of you can. And I would definitely do the smash cake. IMO, a one-year old birthday is definitely something to celebrate regardless of what number of child they are. Hope it all works out for you guys!

i want it to just be the 4 of us but EVERYONE is expecting it, and asking about when it is... and if i don't plan it then mil will.....
i am thinking that the saturday after would be best. for me.

[angmichelle]

i want it to just be the 4 of us but EVERYONE is expecting it, and asking about when it is... and if i don't plan it then mil will.....
i am thinking that the saturday after would be best. for me.

Gotcha! Well do that and if you'd rather do the smash cake with just your immediate family, I'd just get a big cake for the party. What kiddo wouldn't like to have two cakes for their birthday anyway ;) Good luck! Hope it all works out smoothly.

[runningmomofmany]

I have never heard of anyone celebrating a death anniversary. Sounds odd. What will people do? Like a memorial service? Is this something she plans to do every year?

And it is ridiculous that second children don't have 1st birthday parties! WTH?

Sounds like the saturday after her birthday works best?

[tanyachap]

Then do it on Saturday after. Don't sweat it

[hotpinkmomma0811]

I have never heard of anyone celebrating a death anniversary. Sounds odd. What will people do? Like a memorial service? Is this something she plans to do every year?

And it is ridiculous that second children don't have 1st birthday parties! WTH?

Sounds like the saturday after her birthday works best?

I was wondering the same thing. I have never heard of that people only celebrate the 1st child's birthday.

[froggie83]

I have never heard of anyone celebrating a death anniversary. Sounds odd. What will people do? Like a memorial service? Is this something she plans to do every year?

And it is ridiculous that second children don't have 1st birthday parties! WTH?

Sounds like the saturday after her birthday works best?

i have never seen a family bring up a death as often as dh's moms family... they had a moment of prayer for the one that passed on this summer, they sang his favorite song at thanksgiving, they held a mass at grandmas house (another uncle is a priest) before christmas, and did a special memorial present thingie at christmas...
i hope that once they do the death anniversary get together thing that they are done. its driving me a bit batty. yeah dd was born 13 minutes before or after he died but thats not something i care to remember for the rest of my daughters life. and i certainly don't want her to grow up having to hear about his death every time she has a birthday. i hope that they just let the man rest in peace and not bring it up all the time.

and yes... i think i will just plan for the weekend after her b-day and not care what anyone else is doing.

[hotpinkmomma0811]

i have never seen a family bring up a death as often as dh's moms family... they had a moment of prayer for the one that passed on this summer, they sang his favorite song at thanksgiving, they held a mass at grandmas house (another uncle is a priest) before christmas, and did a special memorial present thingie at christmas...
i hope that once they do the death anniversary get together thing that they are done. its driving me a bit batty. yeah dd was born 13 minutes before or after he died but thats not something i care to remember for the rest of my daughters life. and i certainly don't want her to grow up having to hear about his death every time she has a birthday. i hope that they just let the man rest in peace and not bring it up all the time.

and yes... i think i will just plan for the weekend after her b-day and not care what anyone else is doing.

I agree especially with the bold. You have to do what works for your family and your girl.