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Thread: Hello Everyone!

  1. #1
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    Default Hello Everyone!

    Hi my name is Allison. I just registered as a member here after running into the website. I was really impressed by the support I've seen throughout the page and wanted to see if I would benefit from the same support. I have an issue that pertains to wanting to conceive. I will mainly be posting in the motherhood threads, as I'm not actively TTC. And here's why, I long for another baby with all my heart, but DH is "not ready". My daughter is 8 and my son is 5. Has anyone been in the same situation? Like I told him, a woman wanting a baby is not like her wanting that purse at the mall. It's soul deep and it is sometimes heartbreaking, especially when I see all the beautiful pregnant ladies, and all the precious babies. Thank you for any support.

  2. #2
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    ...hi Allison!! So great to have you here!

    ...I'm so sorry your dh isn't on-board with having another baby quite yet . Praying he has a change of heart!

    I was in a similar situation but it was in regards to adoption. After years of wanting to adopt and my dh being against the idea he just one day out of the blue said he was open to adopting! We now have a beautiful 5yr old boy who has been a part of our family for 3.5yrs and dh said he'd like to adopt again someday

    Thinking of you and looking forward to getting to know you!
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  3. #3
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    Thank you so much! Yes I know he will probably change his mind one day. Right now we have to wait, because we don't want to bring one into this world unless we know we can provide for the new baby while also providing for the children we already have. We don't want our kids to have to go without in order to pay for all the new baby needs. We want to be comfortable in raising three kids before we have one. The problem, in this economy we may never reach that goal. But will keep our heads up and be thankful!! Thank you for your response!!

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by abbyncaydenmom View Post
    Thank you so much! Yes I know he will probably change his mind one day. Right now we have to wait, because we don't want to bring one into this world unless we know we can provide for the new baby while also providing for the children we already have. We don't want our kids to have to go without in order to pay for all the new baby needs. We want to be comfortable in raising three kids before we have one. The problem, in this economy we may never reach that goal. But will keep our heads up and be thankful!! Thank you for your response!!
    I hear you about the economy...we live in Michigan and our state was hit hard ...I honestly don't know how some people get by...they work so hard yet it seems to amount to very little.

    Sounds like you have a great perspective on it though...hopefully stronger economic times are ahead !
    Dh (39) Me (37) 8bio 1adopted, 14 angels






  5. #5
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    Welcome Allison! My husband and I were in a similar boat for almost 4 years and then finally one day when we were in a better place emotionally and financially we decided we would give it another go. The discussions and the give and takes weren't easy and I wish you the best on your journey!

    Kelli = 37 DH = 38 (same bday) DSD=15 and DSS=8 and DS=4 born at 32 weeks 3 days on 10/8/08.

  6. #6
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    Thank you! And congrats on your adoption success and good luck to your future adoptions! Such a nice way to give beautiful children good homes! Something to be very proud of!!

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kbull View Post
    Welcome Allison! My husband and I were in a similar boat for almost 4 years and then finally one day when we were in a better place emotionally and financially we decided we would give it another go. The discussions and the give and takes weren't easy and I wish you the best on your journey!
    Thank you! I'm glad to hear that you were able to reach that goal! Children are such precious gifts!

  8. #8

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    I got PG in August on a fluke. We were trying but not really trying since we struggled the first time for so long to get our son. We just never thought it would happen naturally, and for it to happen on its own the first cycle was a miracle. Sadly, that pregnancy ended in miscarriage. My husband was supportive, but I always kind of had this feeling that the whole miscarriage was way more upsetting to me than it was to him. More recently, he confessed that while he was sad about the miscarriage and would have loved that baby, he wasn't ready at the time for another one. Thankfully, he is now ready and fully on board. Your hubby might come around sooner than you think!
    Jen (33), DH (36), DS (3), Baby #2 EDD 10/21/14


    Lost a loved baby 9/2012

  9. #9

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    Hello and welcome! I recently had to go through this conversation with my husband-we just last month decided to start officially trying to conceive #4. He was not quite closed to the idea, but he felt like we have three great kids and why do we need another. He was looking for a logical explanation and I couldn't give him one. For me, I am so insprired by my kids because they each have such special things about them that make me want to be a better person. I really enjoy being around them, and it's so cool to see an extension of your being walking around outside your body. Plus, my family is so important to me and I am excited to get to experience one more child. So, like you said it's a feeling in your soul, nothing you can give a real "reason" to like my husband was looking for. Anyway, it took awhile to get him on board but now he is going along with it willingly and happily. Sometimes I think it is harder for men to envision life with another little one but once they get here they are fine Anyway, good luck to you on your journey!
    DD 1 (6), DD2 (4), DS (2), MC 7/13

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by GatorGRITS View Post
    I got PG in August on a fluke. We were trying but not really trying since we struggled the first time for so long to get our son. We just never thought it would happen naturally, and for it to happen on its own the first cycle was a miracle. Sadly, that pregnancy ended in miscarriage. My husband was supportive, but I always kind of had this feeling that the whole miscarriage was way more upsetting to me than it was to him. More recently, he confessed that while he was sad about the miscarriage and would have loved that baby, he wasn't ready at the time for another one. Thankfully, he is now ready and fully on board. Your hubby might come around sooner than you think!
    Well first and foremost, I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure regardless of whether or not your DH was ready he would have cherished the baby. I'm glad to hear he's now on board, gives me hope that one day he too will throw caution to the wind. We just want whats best for the whole family and sometimes that takes patience.

    Good luck!

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by kemommy View Post
    Hello and welcome! I recently had to go through this conversation with my husband-we just last month decided to start officially trying to conceive #4. He was not quite closed to the idea, but he felt like we have three great kids and why do we need another. He was looking for a logical explanation and I couldn't give him one. For me, I am so insprired by my kids because they each have such special things about them that make me want to be a better person. I really enjoy being around them, and it's so cool to see an extension of your being walking around outside your body. Plus, my family is so important to me and I am excited to get to experience one more child. So, like you said it's a feeling in your soul, nothing you can give a real "reason" to like my husband was looking for. Anyway, it took awhile to get him on board but now he is going along with it willingly and happily. Sometimes I think it is harder for men to envision life with another little one but once they get here they are fine Anyway, good luck to you on your journey!
    Awwww, your so right. My heart beat revolves around my babies! LOL... I know he's being the "logical" one, seeing that just because I want a baby doesn't mean we can afford one. But hopefully our situation will get better. I am on BC, and if for some reason God sees fit to send me another baby then the BC will fail and I'll be okay!! lol, but right now I can't purposely go into having a child when we're both not ready so I will prevent it. Hopefully, it will work out for the best. What's meant to be will be! Good luck to you!!

  12. #12

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    Welcome! DF is exactly like your DH - I know we will most likely NEVER have a third child because of these same reasons. DF and I have decided that we are done after 2 but I can almost guarantee you I will feel the same way you're feeling when eventual #2 is getting to be about 4 or 5. Talk with your DH about it as much as you can and be patient You never know maybe one day he will change his mind. But hang in there, find support in this forum! There are a lot of amazing mamas in here
    Karen (28), DF (28), DD (3), DS (2 months)


    Beanpop's Fluffy Butt Diapers *GRAND RE-OPENING 3/13*

  13. #13

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    I am there right now! I am ready for another baby now but DH wants to wait. He just isn't quite ready to make that leap. He did say that in August of 2014 we can start trying again. It's hard to wait knowing that I want one now. But I am trying to be patient! Hopefully you DH will get on board with having another baby soon for you!!
    *Sara-27**Lee-27* 11/21/09 DX with PCOS 05/10



  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by beanpop View Post
    Welcome! DF is exactly like your DH - I know we will most likely NEVER have a third child because of these same reasons. DF and I have decided that we are done after 2 but I can almost guarantee you I will feel the same way you're feeling when eventual #2 is getting to be about 4 or 5. Talk with your DH about it as much as you can and be patient You never know maybe one day he will change his mind. But hang in there, find support in this forum! There are a lot of amazing mamas in here
    You are probably right. My son turned 5 and that is when it hit hard. Patience is a virtue! lol.. Well I do hope that if you do end up feeling what I'm feeling that it works out for you as well!

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by KMPsMom040711 View Post
    I am there right now! I am ready for another baby now but DH wants to wait. He just isn't quite ready to make that leap. He did say that in August of 2014 we can start trying again. It's hard to wait knowing that I want one now. But I am trying to be patient! Hopefully you DH will get on board with having another baby soon for you!!
    Waiting is the hardest part! lol. I feel so incomplete! Good luck to you!! 2014 will be here before you know it!!

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