OK. so I find myself here... staring blankly at the idea/thought of a divorce... DH and I have been together since 2003 (almost 10 years), married since 2006 (June it will be 7 yrs!). Our first was born in 2009, our second 2011... I will not deny that I was not a happy pregnate woman. In fact I was beyond miserable. But we sucked it up and stored it away calling it the "unknown pregnancy factor!). I returned to work to be laid off, only setting in motion serious post pardum depression. I had it bad with my first born. But was able to snap out of it, or come to grips and begin to hide it better I really dont know. I had an ectopic pregnancy followed by the pregnancy leading to our second born. We have had a hard road, there is no denying that. We have had our fights, we have "threatened" divorce, all of it. but we have come through, or so I thought. A day before Christmas DH finally comes clean and says he wants to separate. He has been couch surfing for 2 weeks now, mind you he has always had business trips, which I feel has contributed to the failure of our marriage, while he thinks the business trips has kept us married this long!!! I slept at my parents house the first Saturday of the seperation, leaving him home with the kids, something he has never done before... the second saturday, I left again only to come back 6 hrs later. I liked my life. I know we have our problems but nothing worth quitting over... He was angry that I interrupted his night alone with the boys. I said Im not the one giving up. Im not moving out!
Hes been a different dad. Hes been ignoring me. But hes been so attentive to the kids. Helping around the house, tubs, making dinner, took both grocery shopping. I went x-country skiing by myself, something I have not done in years!!! I am finally getting me time, but is me time really worth the cost of a marriage? A family???
Ive scheduled us for our first marriage counseling session in a week. He says he will go, but he is defiant that it is not going to change his mind. He wants out. He is not happy. He does not love me any more. We are broken, and he doesn't think we are fixable...
So how do you know, when its just over???