Being argumentative and defiance?
Olivia argues with almost everything I say...
For example - "mom can I have a cookie (at 9am)?"
"Not right now but if you eat a good lunch maybe you can have one for dessert."
"Yes I can." And then is relentlessly having a fit/repeatedly asking for the cookie. I've tried ignoring without much success, she will just follow me around and say "mom, yes I can have a cookie."
She responds to most all directives from me with "no, I won't", "yes I can" arguing with pretty much everything I say or any adult for that matter. We are staying with my in-laws right now and she speaks to her grandparents the same way (something that really has me needing to figure out how to handle this).

Tonight I asked her to help me clean up the toy mess before bath. She old me no. I asked her 3 more times to help and she would not so I brought her up for bath where she proceeded to have a fit, scream, cry for 30 minutes.

Her overall tone with people, adults in general is not acceptable, she is becoming sassy and rude. I know she is only 3 and we have been talking to her about the appropriate way to speak to others and what words we expect her to use..ie. asking her to try again if the way she is talking is rude or sassy. Politeness and respect of others, especially grown-ups is important to me and the same was expected of me growing up.

Anyone have any suggestions? I'm losing patience quick with this stuff.