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Thread: Would you work outside the home with school aged children if you didn't need to?

  1. #1

    Default Would you work outside the home with school aged children if you didn't need to?

    Poll coming...

    Hi, never on anymore. But wanted to see what others thought, for fun I guess. If you didn't NEED to work, would you?

    I have stayed home from a job I LOVED since May 2007. I've loved being home and wouldn't trade a second of it for the world. But my youngest is going to be in kindergarten next year (seriously, how is this possible??) and my oldest a first grader. I've always wanted to go back to work and thought I would as soon as the youngest started K. But trying to sort out the who will take/pick up stuff is proving to be a pain. I feel torn between wanting something for myself and not wanting to stress myself out.
    Last edited by hanvan2; 01-01-2013 at 09:28 PM.

  2. #2

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    Oh wow. I'm the first one to vote. LOL No, if I didn't NEED to work, I probably would not. Of course, this is me at 55 talking. When I was younger, I'm not sure what I would have said.
    Lynne, Grandma to three beautiful girls and one handsome little man!


  3. #3

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    I would with the stipulation that it didn't interfere with what the kids needed. I love working and need the mental stimulation of a project. But I'm also different since I have lots I could do like consulting, research, teach a single class, group therapy, take on a few mental health patients....that kind of stuff since I have a masters and PhD.

    Mommy to Piper 6/5/09 and an 11/2011
    Make a pregnancy ticker

  4. #4

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    I am getting closer to your shoes. We get along pretty well on DH's income, so IF I go back to work it would be PT, but I am not 100% sure I want to, I'm leaning toward, and voted, no...we'll see.

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (5 1/2) and Jericho (3)
    My Blog!

  5. #5

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    I would not. I would use the time to tackle more projects around the house, see extended family, bake, volunteer, and just maybe get to have a tiny bit of time to take care of myself (because I really don't have any time now, at all. Don't ask me when the last time was that I shaved my legs.... and it's not for lack of caring either).

    I do work from home now even though I don't need to. I know it's different because my DD isn't in school, but I'm really growing to loathe it. It takes time away from my DD, my family, and often interferes with us doing things with our friends (playdates, etc.). While it pays well in the end (broken down hourly I probably make $50 an hour or more), it's not worth it to me. We don't need the money so I resent every second of work I do.

  6. #6

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    I have been home for 16.5yrs, when my oldest was 1, so my answer is no. I home educate the kids.

    I have definitely had times over the years where I felt like I wasn't doing anything important, or that I needed some outside stimulation or gratification.
    Last edited by runningmomofmany; 01-01-2013 at 12:51 PM.

  7. #7
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    I am currently a sahm because daycare would be too expensive for us at this time. When the kids are in school full time I plan on getting a job or going back to school part-time while the kids are at school so it wouldn't add daycare costs. I would love, love, love getting job because I am not into the cooking, cleaning, etc. That's just me though. Everyone is different.



  8. #8

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    I would, even if it was part time. I like my job though (most of the time) and feel like I make a difference to the kids I teach. You were a teacher too, right? So you'd be off vacations and summers with them. That's what I like - I'll be off when she has breaks. Good luck deciding! I can't believe the girls are that big!



  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by MomOfAnOnly View Post
    I would not. I would use the time to tackle more projects around the house, see extended family, bake, volunteer, and just maybe get to have a tiny bit of time to take care of myself (because I really don't have any time now, at all. Don't ask me when the last time was that I shaved my legs.... and it's not for lack of caring either).

    I do work from home now even though I don't need to. I know it's different because my DD isn't in school, but I'm really growing to loathe it. It takes time away from my DD, my family, and often interferes with us doing things with our friends (playdates, etc.). While it pays well in the end (broken down hourly I probably make $50 an hour or more), it's not worth it to me. We don't need the money so I resent every second of work I do.
    $50 an hour for how many hours a week?



  10. #10
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    Definitely no. That does not mean that I would not do anything - I would probably start a little home business or volunteer - just something that I enjoy but nothing that would take priority over being with the family. We plan to homeschool so we are in a different situation - we need to make it work so that we can do that.

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by impatient View Post
    Definitely no. That does not mean that I would not do anything - I would probably start a little home business or volunteer - just something that I enjoy but nothing that would take priority over being with the family. We plan to homeschool so we are in a different situation - we need to make it work so that we can do that.
    This is my answer too.

  12. #12
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    I don't know what I would do not working part time when my kids are all in school. Even as a single parent when my oldest was in school I worked, volunteered a ton with school, scouts, and sports, I still ended up going back to school for a higher degree because I didn't know what to do with myself during the day.

  13. #13
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    I would, and do. I absolutely loathe housework, and while I enjoy spending time with DD, there is only so much of it
    I can do before I can feel my brain rotting away. I also believe that women should have their own source of income and be self sufficient, and be able to save for retirement independently of the spouse or SO. The statistics on finances of women is absolutely horrific.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    I would, and do. I absolutely loathe housework, and while I enjoy spending time with DD, there is only so much of it
    I can do before I can feel my brain rotting away. I also believe that women should have their own source of income and be self sufficient, and be able to save for retirement independently of the spouse or SO. The statistics on finances of women is absolutely horrific.
    This is me as well. I am back at work even though both mine aren't school age (4.5 and 2). All of my earnings go to childcare, but within the next few years when they're both in school and I can get my teaching certification, we'll see the financial benefit of my working. I stayed at home with the kids for 2 years and I loved it, but I do enjoy my job and feel happier with myself with having a job outside the house.

  15. #15

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    Currently, I work full time and my kids are in daycare. We need my income just enough, unfortunately. I make good money, we get good health insurance from my employer and I actually like my job a lot. I feel fortunate that I get all my nights, weekends and holidays with my family. If we didn't need the income, I would probably stay at home until my kids hit full-day school age. Then I'd work at least part time, I'm sure. I like the stimulation and adult interaction I get at work, but part time would be enough!
    ~Andrea~


  16. #16

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    I would absolutely go back to work but part time. I don't like full time work with kids; it stresses me out too much and I feel I don't have enough time and patience for my little ones. However, part time work gives me experience, more financial freedom, keeps me current, keeps me sane. The stats for women in retirement are beyond horrific. I know one too many a woman who were left by their DH (death or divorce) and despite lawyers, insurances and whatnot they could not get back on their feet financially. I would not want to be in that situation. Working part time give me the option of going full time the minute I have to but yet I have plenty of time for my children, volunteering, seeing family and relatives. I do NOT have to work at all. We live very comfortably on my DH's income. If I had had a daughter, I would teach her to know how to balance family life and independence. Having education and experience in a field is invaluable for a woman of any age over 18 IMO.
    KEVIN (6) & MATTHEW (4)

  17. #17

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    I would, and do. I absolutely loathe housework, and while I enjoy spending time with DD, there is only so much of it
    I can do before I can feel my brain rotting away. I also believe that women should have their own source of income and be self sufficient, and be able to save for retirement independently of the spouse or SO. The statistics on finances of women is absolutely horrific.
    This is my opinion too. DH makes more than enough that I wouldn't have to work, but we love to travel and feel it is important for DD to see the world. My salary allows us a great deal of financial freedom for travel, private school, and family fun (while we do parks, library, walks, etc, we enjoy amusement parks, movies, and skiing too!), all while saving twenty percent of our total income too.

    For me, financial security is a must. While I don't need to work now, that can change in an instant. DH could lose his job, become disabled, or worse. I would not want to touch the life insurance because once that's gone, it's gone, and I'd rather save that for DD's education.

    I also have no idea what I would do by myself all day! There is only so much cooking and cleaning to be done. Volunteering is great, but I'd rather do that with my family than by myself. I think part time is ideal if you can swing it.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by hotpinkmomma0811 View Post
    $50 an hour for how many hours a week?
    I don't know what Carrie does, but there are lots of jobs in the IT sector that pay that, and much, much more. My company does IT recruitment (among other things), and at the low end of the scale is IT support personnel, making in the 20s (some experience is necessary, so you'd start in the teens, in all likelihood) on an hourly basis. The high end is in the 200s (yes, per hour) for people with in-demand, super specialized skills.

  19. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    I don't know what Carrie does, but there are lots of jobs in the IT sector that pay that, and much, much more. My company does IT recruitment (among other things), and at the low end of the scale is IT support personnel, making in the 20s (some experience is necessary, so you'd start in the teens, in all likelihood) on an hourly basis. The high end is in the 200s (yes, per hour) for people with in-demand, super specialized skills.
    Isn't IT one of the areas where you need to be constantly current. A mommy friend who is in IT with masters has difficulty finding a job because she stayed home for several years? I used to date someone who had IT business and I remember him saying that women often tend to be at disadvantage for the reason that they had to stay current or lose appeal/not being employable. But I am not intimately familiar with IT.
    KEVIN (6) & MATTHEW (4)

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by tanyachap View Post
    Isn't IT one of the areas where you need to be constantly current. A mommy friend who is in IT with masters has difficulty finding a job because she stayed home for several years? I used to date someone who had IT business and I remember him saying that women often tend to be at disadvantage for the reason that they had to stay current or lose appeal/not being employable. But I am not intimately familiar with IT.
    Absolutely. There is very little flexibility in terms of being able to take time off and then picking up where one left off. The good news is that you'd be able to come back in a lower paying position, come up to speed, and then pick it up, assuming the break is a relatively short one (a year or two).

    As in worlds like finance, there is prejudice against women that are not absolutely dedicated to their careers, so longer breaks are viewed as serious negatives in general.

  21. #21
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    I said no. I really enjoy being able to volunteer and honestly with both kids in school, I don't have nearly as much free time as I thought I would. Granted, I have a baby, too, but even without him, I wouldn't get a job outside the home. I like being able to be there for the kids if they need me or want me to come and visit, do field trips, etc. We don't need the money so I'm taking full advantage. I figure I have my whole life to work and do something I love. I will never get these years back, though. I've halted everything with my business for the most part for that reason alone.
    ~ Jess ~ Proud momma of Hayden (7/29/06) Ava (3/14/08) Rainbow Baby Carter (6/8/12)



  22. #22

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    Yes, I'd work. I'd be bored out of my mind. What would I do? Watch tv, shop, the proverbial eating of the bonbons? I trained for years to contribute to society, to produce, and in my particular career, to 'save the world...' I can't see myself on the sidelines, not helping. Further, that work ethic/drive for achievement is the model that I want my son to value/emulate - coming from his mother as well as his father. So the idea that i'd just do nothing is, well, retirement. I will have 20+ years post-employment, god willing, to hang out.

    Besides, I don't believe that it's my husband's burden to support me and my family. It's not his responsbility to fill my retirement/savings account, pay for our insurance, or to ensure that we have funds for education, retirement, investments, etc. Like I can have the week/life off and he should be stuck working the long hours and worrying about whether he alone can keep our family afloat? That works for many families, but it would not in mine.

    It's entirely different if one is taking care of their kids or family members. And it's different if one's working part time (as may be the only option with kids in transition and no viable choices). Or doing legitimate, regular charitable work with that time. (obviously, it's also different if one has health issues, themselves.) Also, some women really do have households that need running (not per se ala Downton Abbey but similar), whose husband's successes wouldn't occur without the women running the show behind the scenes. But to simply sit at home? Not a chance.

    If one can afford not to work, then imo, that gives the freedom to do a job that they really want versus one that pays the bills. So in the case of a friend, she teaches ice skating at two rinks, doing lessons most mornings and evenings. She's been doing it for decades, even though she doesn't need the pennies that the county pays. I know other women who've taken positions with charitable organizations, where they're working full-time in low-paid jobs but doing what they love for causes that they value. Some have used their skills to take leadership positions on boards of similar groups. That's likely the route that I'd go - or I'd go back to school for a different degree - if I weren't going to work in my chosen career.
    Last edited by ibisgirldc; 01-01-2013 at 08:16 PM.

  23. #23

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    When all our littles are in kinder and up I will work part time. Probably 9-2 3 or 4 days a week. I will always be home when they are home. I will always be the one to drop them off at school and pick them up. I will always be able to volunteer in their classroom and go on field trips, be room mother, PTA, etc. But I'm an SLP and have a super flexible, in demand job. They will always take whatever they can get from me And since I work in pediatrics they all know family comes FIRST and how important parent involvement is in child development. If I didn't have such a flexible career I may answer different......or find a way to make whatever I did more flexible. We don't need my income at all. But I want to have a great cushion and lots of fun $ and since I make a very good salary when working it is worth my time AND I LOVE what I do, love the mental stimulation. Love showing my kiddos that mommy will someday work outside the home, that my education was useful and that I worked hard to get where I am.
    BUT....we plan on having another baby in 3 or so years so it may be a long time before I'm a part time working mama again I do consult a bit with infant toddler services now to keep my resume fresh and not have a huge gap in employment! Even though it's only 1.5 hours a week (I go to a meeting when I can to consult on new cases we get), I won't have to put "1.5 hours a week" on my resume just that I was consulting LOVE my career!!



  24. #24
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    I do and have for five years. Usually it was very little and while the girls were at my mom's playing or at preschool. Now they're both in school all day and this year I've been working 35ish hours a week. But starting tomorrow that's cutting back down to more like 10-15 hours a week just because I want to focus on my health and fitness also.

    ETA: We absolutely don't need me to work, but me working has let us feel more able to buy a new car instead of used-and easily pay it off-when our van was totaled, take the girls on at least one large trip a year-sometimes to see family and sometimes just somewhere fun-which is something neither John or I had growing up and something we have chosen to prioritize, I can go out and have a $200 shopping trip-groceries, clothes for me or him or the girls, new shoes all around, something for the house-and not worry about it negatively affecting our monthly budget. Add to that the fact that I have a job that I love and can literally make my own hours (hence me cutting from almost FT to barely PT overnight!) and it's really ideal. I'm going to Holland next month-paid for by my job including paying for my grandma to come and nanny the girls duing their off-school hours-which is just another way that my job is helping me stay a satisfied and well-rounded mama. I am someone who has itchy feet. Five days in Europe a couple times a year keeps the itch at bay enough that it doesn't drive my husband crazy AND it doesn't cost me a cent.

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  25. #25
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    I will be in this exact situation in a year and a half. When my youngest starts K I will start looking. Unfortunately the career I had pre-kids has taken a down turn and I'm not sure I will easily be able to get back into the field. I would LOVE to find a part time job where I would still be able to put the kids on the bus, volunteer in classes and meet them when they get off of the bus. Like you, trying to figure out how all of that works when you are working full time makes my head spin. Hopefully we will remain financially stable and it won't be such a rush to find something. Good luck to you!
    Growing fast... DD1 (6) & DD2 (4)
    Forever loved, forever missed... Twin Girls with us for 19w3d 6/12/06

  26. #26

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    I'd either work or study part-time. Maybe full-time.

    If my income wasn't necessary then I'd use the opportunity to follow my dreams as opposed to just doing what pays the bills.

    The idea of not working does sound tempting but realistically I know it wouldn't be good for my mental health. I need something. Also, it'd be nice to have the extra cash.
    This is MammaMia. I've lost my password.

  27. #27
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    Part time definitely.

    I am really answering from someone else's perspective because I do not like to work outside the home (although being home for 6 years now I wouldn't mind some adult interaction and stimulation). My ideal job would be working (for income) from home and now that we are done having kids I plan to restart my freelance illustration career again. But as you already know from having a child in school it can still be kind of hectic with pick ups and drop offs and class parties, etc. So I think part time would be the best option because if you don't NEED the money why stress about all the picking up and after school stuff but some extra income would be nice so I think PT is win-win.
    Thing 1 (7), Thing 2 (5), Thing 3 (20M)

  28. #28

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    Yes i would but i went to school for a long time to have a carer i enjoy and i would not give that up

  29. #29

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    Quote Originally Posted by DucksLikeRain View Post
    I'm going to Holland next month-paid for by my job including paying for my grandma to come and nanny the girls duing their off-school hours-which is just another way that my job is helping me stay a satisfied and well-rounded mama. I am someone who has itchy feet. Five days in Europe a couple times a year keeps the itch at bay enough that it doesn't drive my husband crazy AND it doesn't cost me a cent.
    just wanted to say that's awesome! Great for everyone - and how cool to get to travel abroad!

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by emma1978 View Post
    Yes i would but i went to school for a long time to have a carer i enjoy and i would not give that up
    This is me, too. I really love what I do and have put a lot of time and effort into it, and I also feel I am in a position of "knowing" the right crowd in a way that really furthers my knowledge. I didn't put so much in to let it go, and should I ever have a daughter I would want her to see me enjoying a successful career. My mom stayed home with us until I was in school and then went back to work. As an adult I was lucky enough to see her on the job and I really got to know and appreciate a whole different side of her. It's great for a daughter to see her mother as an expert at something outside the home.

    Now if I didn't have a career, I don't know that I would say the same thing. If I didn't need the money I don't know that I would just go out and get any minimum wage job that kept me away from my family. But as others have said, I would make a plan to figure out what I really wanted in life and how to get there, whether that would mean going back to school, volunteer work, creative work such as writing or painting, or whatever is meaningful. But a career you love, definitely.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 01-01-2013 at 08:20 PM.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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