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Thread: A kind of update

  1. #1
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    Aug 2011
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    Default A kind of update

    I posted in the family partnership meeting thread too but I wasn't sure if anyone would see it and we got some sort of new info since then too.

    Well, first thing first, the meeting went very well. It was a very kind and warm environment and I think it helped everyone involved. We got to meet baby girl's GAL who is a very very nice man and who has a history with this family and the other children involved so he knows how this mom usually handles things. She has other kids that she does not have. A 12 year old who must have been adopted or something. She doesn't really see him anymore. She has a 2 year old who I guess is in care of some type. She used to have overnight visits with him but they were suspended when she lived in a bad environment and she just got visitation back with him again. She also mentioned that she's lived in her new situation for about 2 weeks which so far is better, but from what we gathered (and we aren't completely sure) the person she lives with is who filed the petition. They told us single woman who wasn't a blood relative and she's living with a single woman who isn't a blood relative. I guess she's her aunt or something but not related by blood, it's confusing. So I guess if she's living with her the woman isn't likely to get custody of baby girl. Mom could move out but even still I'm not sure. This woman is one of the only people who will help her and support, make sure she takes her meds and stuff, so that makes me think they may say there's too much contact there. She's going to get more visitation for Christmas but she still isn't allowed to have any unsupervised visits so...we've felt a little better realizing that more than likely the petition won't go through, at least not right now. Of course, we haven't written it off yet because it's just a hunch and you never know. Also, seems there's very little family at all as birth mom wasn't even raised by her parents so...it's a sad situation.

    The adjudicatory court hearing was supposed to be Tuesday and I called our SW today to see how that went and was told that court was continued until Monday because CFS needed more time. Anyone knows if that's a good thing or a bad thing? I just assumed it was neither and that it just happens sometimes. I do know at the meeting on Monday that there was a representative of some kind there that had literally just found out about the case and had no info on it at all so I think that could have something to do with it. There was another party involved at the last minute for some reason or other...I wasn't clear on all of that but it's all lawyers and advocates and stuff. I also don't think birth mom has a lawyer since there wasn't one at the meeting but maybe they just didn't go if they're court appointed...I don't know.

    Anyway, we're pretty sure now she'll be here for Christmas at least, and they've given us the impression she'll be here for a while. We realize things could change at any moment so we're definitely nervous to hear what happens at court Monday and we're aware that even if the petition doesn't go through, she could petition again or someone else could petition. I know there are no guarantees in this world, but we did feel better after the meeting. Mom thanked us again at visitation this week for all we've done and said knowing she's safe and we're taking such good care of her means a lot to her. Next week I'm taking baby girl in her Christmas outfit and I'm going to get some pics of her and birth mom and print them out for birth mom. So we're still taking it one day at a time but as of today, things seem to be okay, and baby girl is doing wonderfully and that's the most important part.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  2. #2

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    Sounds like a good meeting! I hope it continues to go well! Enjoy your Christmas with her!



  3. #3
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    Virginia
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    Thanks Sarah! Right now we're waiting on pins and needles to hear how adjudicatory court goes tomorrow (Monday). It was supposed to be last Tuesday but court got continued and it wasn't for any bad reason at all but it's made us nervous anyway. The SW said that while she thought it was unlikely, there's always a chance that she could go home on Monday. If we lost her the week before Christmas I don't know what we'd do. I guess we'd deal because we wouldn't have a choice but it'd be awful. Plus, mom's situation is really not good so I'd be shocked but you never know...We haven't even bought her any Christmas presents yet because we're afraid we'll jinx it. I'm dying to get her a "my first Christmas" outfit that we picked out for Christmas day. This is going to be a LONG night.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  4. #4

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    Praying it goes well! Let us know how it goes!



  5. #5

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    Hope everything goes well today, Leah! FX!

  6. #6
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    Praying for you today!! (((Hugs)))!

  7. #7
    Join Date
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    Thank you ladies! We didn't get any official word on court today because we didn't even get to talk to our SW but we brought baby girl home with us after visitation and they were discussing next week's visit so I'm assuming it means things didn't go in mom's favor today and that they agreed that the state was correct in placing her in care right now. We did get to meet birth mom's other child who's in care, the 2 year old. He's as cute as he can be and he looks like baby girl. We were excited to meet him and to get an idea of what she might look like. They look so much alike it surprises me...different dad's too I think so they look like mom I guess. Anyway, hopefully we'll get some official word from our SW who I called a little while ago with no answer because I just don't think I'll be able to relax even for a minute without some official word that she's staying. We were told last week, "if she doesn't go home Monday she'll be there until Jan 29th at least". I just hope that's right and we've got her at least for a little while longer.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  8. #8

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    I just cannot imagine how hard this is for you and your husband. I hope and pray that baby girl gets to stay with you forever.
    Mommy to Lilliana (10/2006) & Summer (10/2011)!




  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2007
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    14,464

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    Leah I am glad to hear that she is still with you! And really if another child is in care as well....that doesn't bode well for mom. She might love her kids a lot but that doesn't mean that she is able to be a good parent to them.

    My younger cousin had visits as a baby with his birth mom. She had other kids too and none in her custody. She eventually agreed to not fight termination as long as he was adopted by my aunts because she knew how much he was loved and how happy he was with them.

    I really hope that things work out in your favor and little girls favor and you all get to stay together.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  10. #10
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    Aug 2011
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    Virginia
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    Got the official call this morning. She will be here until Jan 29th and probably a little after that even if the petition is granted. I thought she'd just leave us without any warning, but they said we'll find out at the 75 day hearing if the petition is granted and if it is there will be a transition period (thank goodness) where we can help her transition into her new environment and we can also get used to her not being here...it makes me sad to think about of course, but knowing it will be done that way if it happens is a relief. It makes me feel like we'll have some control over helping her and ensuring that whoever she's with knows everything they need to know about her and it makes me feel like we can kind of ensure her safety. I just hope if it's granted it's someone who can handle a newborn. They said we'd get a subpoena to court that day and of course we'll both go. I don't know if it'll make a difference to the judge to see us there with her or not, but we'll be there regardless.

    Also, SW said that court didn't last 5 minutes yesterday. The judge immediately said there was enough evidence for the stipulation of child abuse/neglect and that she needed to stay where she was. The SW also said she didn't know who it was that filed the petition because she wasn't allowed to know or she'd give us more info. Either way though I'd say we're as ready as we can be to deal with whatever comes. At least we know we'll have her for another month or so and that she's safe right now and we can take part somewhat in whatever happens next.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  11. #11

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    good luck! Enjoy your holidays!

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