What are you doing with your older child(ren)...
...when you go into labor?
I have no idea what I'm going to do with Liam if I go into labor in the middle of the night. Our nearest family is an hour away, and then the hospital is another 45 minutes from my house. So even if they "hop to" the moment we call them, we're talking 1 hour and 45 minutes before I could even get to the hospital. And these family members (DH's parents) are not exactly reliable, so what happens if at the last minute we can't reach them or they don't get to our house in a timely manner? And then what if I think I'm in labor only to get sent home? I can't be dragging them out of bed in the middle of the night multiple times. So I don't know if I should ask a friend? But all of my friends work, so I feel bad about that too. And I'm not good at asking people for favors. Should I just suck it up and ask someone? It's a LOT to ask of someone who isn't family. DH could stay with him, but I can't exactly drive 45 minutes to the hospital if I'm in labor. *sigh*
What is everyone else doing?
We have no family here at all. I have several friends who I've asked. One of them has a toddler and loves close. She said she would happily keep her. I have 2 other friends in the neighborhood that have volunteered as well. Luckily, most of my friends are professors so changing stuff around or taking a day doesn't affect them. Piper can be dropped off at daycare too so they can get to work. I would ask.
That's a good question! Normally I would say my MIL would watch them. And she will while I'm in the hospital recovering. But as who is going to watch them if it happens in the middle of the night? I'm not sure! The neighbors have offered to come to the house in the middle of the night if needed to stay with the kids. MIL is difficult enough to reach becuase she no longer has a home phone and only has her cell, which she isn't very reliable about answering.
I'm kind of sweating this one...dh has to go out of town (for work) for a week mid January and then also has his normal boys weekend (which he still plans on going on - which doesn't make me happy but that's another story) at the end of Jan. My parents said they would jump in the car and drive up as soon as they could, but they live two hours away.
But to answer your question, I guess I'll just have to drag the kids out with me or let dh stay at home until we get a hold of someone. I'm only about 15 min from the hospital so it's not too far to drive if I'm in labor.
I don't think you should feel bad asking someone that isn't family to help...but I would take into consideration whether or not they already have kids.
Well we have a "nanny" or a sitter that I feel extremely comfortable with, so she will be taking care of them while I go into labor, I also plan on laboring at home for as long as I can. The hospital is 5mins away max so no biggie. His family is about 30 mins away with traffic but I DONT TRUST THEM AS FAR AS I COULD THROW THEM, soo.... they will not be watching my kids. I was a mess last time when I had to have my c-section with DD, and I had no one but MIL to watch DS (he takes meds and she can't read eng/span) so I can't trust her to administer correctly and he is GF and she has no idea what Gluten even is. Dad ended up going home early and doing everything at night while I stayed in the hospital. And then he would bring DS to hospital to visit. This time I don't want MIL even coming to the hospital, like she did last time.
Last edited by babybluesash; 12-07-2012 at 09:03 AM.
My parents are 2 minutes away as well as Mia's father so we are covered either way luckily! I just worry about leaving Mia.. She is scared of hospitals (she knows sick people go there) and I'm afraid it will scare her knowing I'm going there. Best case scenario- I go into labor on a Wed or Sun when her Dad has her and she won't know until after!
Like some of you others, we are covered once my parents or DH's parents get here, and if it's during the day, well Liam goes to daycare so he'd just stay there. One of his teachers does babysitting, so I'm sure she'd keep him after hours until my parents or his parents could take over. But it's really the "middle of the night" planning that scares me.
We do have 1 couple who we're close to without children. I know she would come to our house in the middle of the night if I asked her. BUT - she is sick a lot. She gets sick more than anyone I've ever met. So I don't know if she'd end up being sick at that time or not. All of our other friends have kids, so that's where it gets tricky. The 2nd person I'd ask has a baby 6 months younger than Liam, but she is a nurse and works nights, so that might not work so well.
I mean, I guess I could try to drive to the hospital by myself...if the contractions weren't too bad yet. But 45 minutes is a long way to go. But, I don't plan to labor too long at home, simply because of how fast my labor progresses once things start to happen. With Liam, I was induced, and it took me about 10-12 hours for the induction to work. But once labor actually kicked in, it was sudden, intense, and pretty quick since he was here 5 hours later. And I could definitely not be driving through that by myself.
A coworker offered to take care of him in the middle of the night, but she wants to take him to her house - she doesn't want to come to mine. And she lives 45 minutes away too. She could at least meet us at the hospital, but I don't like the idea of dragging him out of bed in the middle of the night for that. Plus, I'm not sure DH will go for that since he doesn't know them.
I guess the best I can do is to ask our friend who tends to get sick a lot, and just hope for the best, and cross that bridge of her getting sick if it happens. Liam loves her DH too, so maybe if she gets sick, he'd be willing to come to our house instead.
You might try asking your doula if she has recommendations. There are doulas who are called like sibling doulas ach it pretty much like a babysitter.
We have lots of family nearby so we will see who can respond the quickest.
We have a normal sitter, whom we absolutely love and trust, who wants to come when I go into labor and stay with the girls during my hospital stay but she lives about 20 minutes away. And I feel bad calling her in the middle of the night. Oh the joy of being a military family! We really have no family planning to come. I have a few friends in my neighborhood that have done the offer of "if you ever need anything" but I don't know if it's a little much to ask someone! I don't know, we might just bring them with us! I mean, the worst that will happen is DH has to sit with them in the waiting room for a bit while our sitter comes, and lets face it, baby number 5 and I am kinda an old hat at this. I am gonna start thinking a little more seriously though!
This may sound crazy but we took ours with us for every birth (even the surrogacy). This includes a couple of completely natural crazy real unmedicated birthing experiences.
When our 2nd son was born our first was 2 years 1 month old. We got to the hospital around midnight and the baby was born around 7am. We made a pallet for our older son on the floor, kept the lights down low, and just kind of played it by ear. He woke up and had to use the potty at one point during labor, luckily my mom was there and helped dh out. Dh did great supporting me and I never felt that our older son was a burden to him. Having our older boy there added to my joy and to the beautiful moments directly following the birth, how cool for all of my little family to be right there sharing such an amazing closeness.
When our third was born our older sons were 6 and almost 4, that labor was 22 hours of HELL. But still, having them attend the birth was pretty awesome. They thought it was the coolest thing to get to be the first people their little brother ever saw. Daddy caught the baby, big brothers helped get him clean. We all hung out in the room for hours admiring our little Elf King.
For the surrogacy they were 3, 7, and 9. They took turns sitting and talking with me, laughing at the huge birthing ball, and laying next to me in the bed. I have never felt so supported as those moments. When things got heavy, they opted to go hang out in the cafeteria with an adult friend.
So just keep in mind that women have been having babies for (in the words of Taylor Swift) Like Ever. If you just take it easy and go with the flow, remember that things have a way of working themselves out and (all fabulous birth plans aside) you can't really plan something as fantastic as giving birth. It just happens, and it is beautiful. So if all sitters fail and you have to take your older child/ren with you -You may be surprised at how cool that can be.
I never actually thought of taking him there with me. He would never just lay down and sleep in a corner though, haha. He is such a light sleeper, and if anything is going on around him, he is instantly wide awake. He's been like this since he was a newborn - we never could run errands during his nap time, because he would not nap - he was always too busy looking around. I guess worst-case scenario, DH could always sit with him (or chase him being the likelier scenario) in the waiting room until someone can come. I'll have my doula so won't be alone, and while I'm not as "old hat" at this as Mommabird, I do feel pretty confident in how the process works with this being my 3rd time around.
I did talk to a friend though, and she is willing to be available for us. So we do at least have someone to call! Now I just hope it happens during the day and we don't have to bother her in the middle of the night!
DH and I were worried about that also. My family (both DH and mine) are about an hour and a half away. My labor with DS#1 was about 15 hours. Labor with DS#2(induction) was only about 7 hours. I was so scared that no matter when it happened we would have to call our parents and wait around for them. BUT we decided that if I was laboring fast we would load up the kids and DH would hang out with them in L&D waiting room. Then when someone got to our house DH would run over and drop them off back at home. We don't know anyone out here so there would be no one to ask. BUT we have a room mate for the time being so we don't even have to wake the kids up! But we will be calling family to come any way.
I really hope you go into labor in the early morning so that everything can be during the day Sounds like your worst case would be taking Liam to the hospital with you until your family can get there.