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Thread: Little girls with long hair

  1. #1
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    Default Little girls with long hair

    Lorelai has really long hair. She's only cut it once, about 6-7 inches this last summer, and it's already back down to her butt. She doesn't want to cut it, but also can't take care of it herself. She can't brush it and, since she's a total tomboy, it's constantly full of snarls. She also drags it through her food because it's so long, she can barely sweep it over her own shoulder. While I love the long hair and I want her to have what she likes, I am really sick of doing her hair for her every day (as well as snarls and tears getting them out). She's going to be 7 soon and is very independent in all things BUT this- she expects me to do it every day and now won't even try doing it herself. I'm not sure if I should just cut it and she can deal or if I should leave it long and just suck it up and do it for her. Part of me thinks that forcing her to cut her hair would be so mean, but the other part of me feels that if she can't take care of it, she can't have it (that's our rule with toys and other things). What should I do?!

  2. #2

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    IMO Hair is a really hard thing to completely take care of on your own until you're older, doesn't much matter if its long or short. My hair was never much longer than my waist (most of the time several inches shorter), but I was still in 6th grade before I could get a handle on it myself. And it wasn't for lack of trying/not caring. I would say that as long as she lets you help take care of it she should be allowed to keep it whatever length she wants. If she didn't let you brush it/wash it and couldn't do it herself then it has to be cut, and that's the lesson to be learned..... I learned that one at 3 when I refused to let anyone brush my hair for weeks and it ended up in a rats nest and had to be cut short. I was mortified at the time but always cooperated with hair brushing after that.
    Last edited by MomOfAnOnly; 12-30-2012 at 11:22 AM.

  3. #3

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    Could you maybe compromise? Leave it long but maybe cut it into a more manageable style. So it would be a little shorter but she could still have some length. Or you could talk to her about donating it to Locks of Love. My kids all did that when they were much younger. I wouldn't just cut it against her wishes. My mom did that to me when I was about 4 years old and it was devastating for me. I still remember the exact moment when she told me she was cutting it off and went to get the scissors. I was taking a bath and she was fed up with trying to wash it so she just cut it off.
    Mary Jane, doula and mom of Vada, Brynna, Tea, Moira, Kyan, Ambria, Aslan, and Anakin.
    “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” ~ Dr. Seuss

  4. #4

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    I agee.i would say my girls were around 11 when they were able to take care of their hair satisfactorily on their own. before then the rule was if they didn't let me take care of it they hard to cut it. and even now my 12yr old often looks like she just got out of bed, but at least she brushes her hair. The nice thing is that my oldest dd now cares enough about looks and hair that she will sometimes take care of the 8yr olds hair too, because honestly, I don't get to it every day. Fortunately she has slick hair that doesn't knot up.

    But the bottom line is you are the mom and if you don't have time to care for her hair, or you think life would be better if she had some length cut off then it is ok for you to make that decision.maybe she would feel good about donating to Locks Of Love. They need 10in, so it sounds like she would have enough for a nice hair style after.

  5. #5
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    I have always had long hair too and didn't really take care of it all by myself until almost junior high. Even than my mom still helped with certain styles. I didn't wear my hair down much either at your DD's age.....it was always in pony tails or often in a braid or braids.

    Donating is a great option too. I just did that myself a few weeks ago....just not to locks of love but a local wig maker who does the same thing making wigs but for local kids. I actually heard she was working on one for a 5 yr old that asked for a wig as the only thing on her christmas wish list and my hair was the right coloring and would likely be used in her wig. It was a great feeling donating.

    That said, I have thicker hair and find that shoulder length (just a tad past my shoulders) is more work to take care of than when it was hitting my waist.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  6. #6
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    My mom chopped my long hair off for the same reasons, when I was a kid. I remember it being rather traumatic at the time, but clearly got over it, and didn't have longer hair until I could manage it myself.

  7. #7
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    My deal with my girls is that their hair has to be brushed every day, no complaining and no squirming. Scharae used to choose to keep her hair pixie short because of this but for the last 3 years has been growing it out. She chose to cut it to her shoulders last weekend-so much more manageable for her!

    Keira's hair is down to her bottom and just curly enough to be a mess. Every morning she does her best brushing-and some days she does a completely thorough job-and then brings me the brush to finish. I bought http://www.amazon.com/Its-10-Miracle-Product-4-Ounces/dp/B000TKH6G2] this leave-in spray [/COLOR]and it has been amazing. I bought it during swim lessons in the summer to help with the post-chlorine bushing (ick!) but we use it almost every day. Anyhow, if she wears her hair down she knows that means more brushing, more tangles, more pain. She usually chooses a basic high pony which helps the hair stay out of her food and out of her eyes when she's running around all day. I work hard to get her to let me braid it when it's wet because that will easily last 2 days, no need to brush. And then I can get another 1-2 days of minimal brushing afterward because it hasn't gotten tangled. But bottom line, since they've been 3 they've been able to understand then if/then concept of IF you want your hair long THEN you will let it be brushed. And yes, it sucks to be the parent that has to do the kids' hair every morning before school. But other than that one rule, John and I have agreed that hair is not a battle we'll fight (if they want it shaved, fine. Green, fine.) and that means we have to be willing to style it for them (he's getting better and better at braids all the time!).

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  8. #8

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    Ava is 2.5 and her hair is already just about down to her butt and every single day I have to hold her down to brush it while she screams. It is beautiful and the ends are curly and I am afraid if I cut it we will lose the curls forever. She gets food and whatever else in it and it gets really nasty so I have been thinking about cutting it for some time.




  9. #9
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    Can you braid it down her back? Put it in a bun? I think donating would be a great idea if it comes down to cutting it. IMO hair down all the way to her butt would be hard for anyone to manage adult or child. If she hates wearing it braided or pulled up I would cut, its not to be mean or cold haired to my child if she had long hair to her butt its time to cut it.



  10. #10
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    Over the summer DD1 was giving me such a hard time brushing her hair. I told her that meant it was time to get it cut. Nothing drastic, but just enough that it was more manageable. I also switched brushed from a regular flat brush to a rounded one with smaller bristles and for some reason that seemed to make more of a difference than the length. I would maybe have her get a few inches cut off just so it is easier to deal with. Good luck!
    Growing fast... DD1 (6) & DD2 (4)
    Forever loved, forever missed... Twin Girls with us for 19w3d 6/12/06

  11. #11
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    Take her to a hair salon and look in the hair books they have. See if she likes any of them. If not, you can leave. If she does like them, you can make it a ladies day out and get your hair touched up/cut together!
    Dada (27) Mama-Jessie (26) Orion (4) Kadence (2) Osiris (Uterus)

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by MamaToe88 View Post
    Take her to a hair salon and look in the hair books they have. See if she likes any of them. If not, you can leave. If she does like them, you can make it a ladies day out and get your hair touched up/cut together!
    I like this idea! I haven't had a problem with Sonja, she lets me trim her bangs and has a cute pageboy haircut right now. Her hair is fine and a little curled up at the end, and I think when it starts to grow out I'll have problems but for now the short style works for us. She HATES when I comb it.
    Leigh(36)/Matt(40)/Sonja Lily(4)/Damien Andrew(1.5)




  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by MomOfAnOnly View Post
    IMO Hair is a really hard thing to completely take care of on your own until you're older, doesn't much matter if its long or short. My hair was never much longer than my waist (most of the time several inches shorter), but I was still in 6th grade before I could get a handle on it myself. And it wasn't for lack of trying/not caring. I would say that as long as she lets you help take care of it she should be allowed to keep it whatever length she wants. If she didn't let you brush it/wash it and couldn't do it herself then it has to be cut, and that's the lesson to be learned..... I learned that one at 3 when I refused to let anyone brush my hair for weeks and it ended up in a rats nest and had to be cut short. I was mortified at the time but always cooperated with hair brushing after that.
    This, exactly!!! This is what happened to my DD last year, actually at age 3.5. She refused to let me brush it, literally run and hid. She constantly had a huge knot at the back of her head... it was ridiculous. One day DH took her to HIS barber, knots and all, and got it cut shoulder length without even asking me. I was shocked, yet amused that he did that, and since she was willing, what could I say? Life was so much better after that! The thing with my DD hair is that she has a lot of it, yet its very fine, so when it gets past a certain length it gets straggly no matter what. So as it stands now, we dont let it grow more than 6 inches past her shoulders.... though she hasn't expressed interest in growing it longer...if she did, the bolded part would apply!

  14. #14
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    She doesn't mind me brushing it, but she hates to have it braided. It's very pretty right after a brushing, but quickly turns into a stringy mess. I don't know, I just can't bring myself to cut it if she doesn't want to. Like I said, she's very independent and likes to make decisions for herself. Maybe I'll just have to make her TRY to do it herself and then I'll help finish.

  15. #15

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    Hayden had hair down to her lower back. She fought us each and every time we brushed it or did anything with it. She always had tangles and food in it...it was just a PITA. We chopped it all off...leaving her a short bob. She was ready to do it...she hated us having to take care of her hair, she also liked the idea of donating it to Lock Of Love, so that is what we did. It is so much less hassle and fighting now....love it!

    ~*~Katrina~*~ Momma to Xander, Hayden & Lily (6) and Jericho (3 1/2)

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