Stopping wild behavior

[macksmom]

My girls have gone

They often get CRAZY together. It's fun for them - they are not fighting but just fooling around, being silly. But it gets really out of hand and it's VERY hard to get them out of that "zone".

Anyone else with this problem? How do you calm your kids down? I often just throw my hands up. I feel like I have totally lost control and they just run wild. I try to yell over them....they don't even hear me

DH has his xmas party tonight and I will be home with the 3 of them. I am SO dreading it. I am actually kind of surprised he is going. Bedtime has been a nightmare because they get this way right before bed. I would not leave him with them knowing how they get.

All that seems to work is to physically separate them which usually has to be done by force. Even then they yell to each other and still keep going.

I have done the usual tactics - taken things away, time outs, etc. Not working.....

[dana_renay]

Why do you need to stop it? Is somebody getting hurt? Can you send them to another room and try to just...not hear them?

[Bridget]

I was just thinking about this last night! Mine always get crazy before bedtime and last night I had such a bad headache. They were making me crazy. I kept telling them to stop and they wouldn't listen so I ended up taking away their bedtime story. After they went to bed I felt like such a jerk because they were so upset about missing their story and in all reality they really weren't doing anything WRONG. They were just getting on my nerves and I had a headache. Anyway, I was trying to think of new ways to handle that behavior and decided I need to give them an outlet for it instead of getting upset with them. So that's my goal for today. I'll let ya know how it goes.

[Marcie]

For tonight I would let them watch a movie. For general ways to stop it, what about a "calm down" basket of quiet things to do? Or putting one in the bath with some finger paint, and then the other? I guess I would aim to calm one down first, and then the other. My kids do this too. If it's not bedtime, I just let them go. I do shut it down post 5:30 or so, even if I have to use the tv or iPad to do it.

[macksmom]

Why do you need to stop it? Is somebody getting hurt? Can you send them to another room and try to just...not hear them?

Oh I let them go plenty but eventually it's time to wind down - either bed time, time for dinner, school, it's a sunday morning at 8am and we have basement tenants etc.....

Someone does usually end up hurt too.

I have locked myself in my bedroom before...yeah, it's that bad.

I was just thinking about this last night! Mine always get crazy before bedtime and last night I had such a bad headache. They were making me crazy. I kept telling them to stop and they wouldn't listen so I ended up taking away their bedtime story. After they went to bed I felt like such a jerk because they were so upset about missing their story and in all reality they really weren't doing anything WRONG. They were just getting on my nerves and I had a headache. Anyway, I was trying to think of new ways to handle that behavior and decided I need to give them an outlet for it instead of getting upset with them. So that's my goal for today. I'll let ya know how it goes.

Ugh I try so hard and the guilt is bad. I have taken away bedtime stories something I am very much opposed to but I have been desperate. The other thing is I WANT them to get silly and have fun with each other. It's better than them fighting! They just don't listen when I tell them it's time to calm down. That is really what the issue is. I feel like a huge meanie. Especially with DD1 She is is school all day and I am on her back to get ready in the morning, then she comes home and they typically go nuts and I am yelling at them then, then before bed. It's all she sees me do But she especially can't bring it down once she gets wound up. I just can't get through to them when they are like this. They sometimes don't even care that I take away their stories

Sometimes it's because I just don't want to hear it anymore but sometimes it's because it's just time to cool it so the guilt varies.

I will try to think of other outlets. I have tried that before and sometimes it works but sometimes it gets the started and backfires

For tonight I would let them watch a movie. For general ways to stop it, what about a "calm down" basket of quiet things to do? Or putting one in the bath with some finger paint, and then the other? I guess I would aim to calm one down first, and then the other. My kids do this too. If it's not bedtime, I just let them go. I do shut it down post 5:30 or so, even if I have to use the tv or iPad to do it.

I have done the TV or kindle which is really the ONLY thing that does calm them down but I feel like I am rewarding them for getting nutty, you know? I do try to calm one down first but it's a losing battle. The other one will just act like a nut in the background and egg the other one on. It would be really funny if I wasn't the one dealing with it lol.

I am thinking of doing a jar with good behavior tickets? They like to have a "sleepover" where they sleep together. We have only let them do it on weekends and now only 1 weekend night because they get crazy and stay up late. I let it go because I really DO want them to have fun! They just don't know when to tone it down and wont listen to reason once they get going. So anyway, I was thinking of letting them earn tickets towards the sleepover and if they have enough tickets by the end of the week they can do it. They are just 2 very different ages so I feel like the 3.5yo will sabotage the 6yo because she has less control and understanding of the consequences....

[dana_renay]

I have used this for older kids (7/8) in a group/class environment, but I wasn't having to get them calm enough for bed...just calm enough to be attentive. We would do dance time. Let them know that dance time is time to go crazy - as crazy as they can. But when dance time is over, it's time to calm down. Start with some really fast, wild music and then at the end, do a slower song, and then a really slow calm song. While the last song is playing, lead them in some stretching, relaxation exercises and deep breathing (e.g. be a tree and stretch to the sky, be an elephant and dangle down to the ground, now we're slowly melting into a puddle, with every breath we melt a little more....) The crazy dancing gets some of the energy out, and then the slow music and movement helps the mental transition to a calmer state.

[raspberry]

Where is the like button Dana, I love that!! I will be using that around here.

[macksmom]

I have used this for older kids (7/8) in a group/class environment, but I wasn't having to get them calm enough for bed...just calm enough to be attentive. We would do dance time. Let them know that dance time is time to go crazy - as crazy as they can. But when dance time is over, it's time to calm down. Start with some really fast, wild music and then at the end, do a slower song, and then a really slow calm song. While the last song is playing, lead them in some stretching, relaxation exercises and deep breathing (e.g. be a tree and stretch to the sky, be an elephant and dangle down to the ground, now we're slowly melting into a puddle, with every breath we melt a little more....) The crazy dancing gets some of the energy out, and then the slow music and movement helps the mental transition to a calmer state.

See maybe that is what I was doing wrong I tried the dance thing to get their energy out but never thought to do a wind down. They have been really wanting me to show them some yoga moves...that may be a good transition!

They were crazy first thing in the morning today though so it's not just pent up energy...they just get each other crazy sometimes. I need a method to get them to knock it off.

I found a bunch of printable tickets online. They have different messages like "good listening" "stayed quiet" or "used nice words" etc. with a cute graphic on each one! I am going to try this instead of a chart. They will get tickets in a jar. Maybe saying they will earn a ticket if they calm down will help....

[Jai]

Ugh. I so know. The running, racing with each other. The yelling and then the other yelling over them. The jumping, the throwing a ball, or stuffed animal, or car. They get so rambunctious. For them it's usually right when the girls get home. Jayden is excited to see her, Peytons excited to be home from school. It just gets nuts. Then it calms down and it usually starts again right after dinner.

The noise sometimes just gets too much for me. I try to hide. lol. I don't like the running, at all. Someone always gets hurt with the running. And even with the other stuff someone usually gets hurt because they just get going and don't stop.

I've tried ignoring (doesn't work), yelling (doesn't work). It's getting too cold for them to go outside every day (that and they have both been battling a cold for like 3 weeks.. it keeps almost going away and then coming back, ugh.. another vent). So I will let them go at it for a bit then usually try to distract them with a craft or snack or something else that's boring but sounds fun. We have had a dance party where me and them will just rock out, music loud for like 10 mins and then I give them something like a puzzle and have them race or something.

I have no solid answer because we basically just do what we can at the time to get through the day. lol. I have had to separate them, each in their own rooms when they just won't settle and it only lasts two minutes because they want to play together adn they find something calmer.

Mostly no help, just hugs and a I know how you feel shoulder!

[ljs318]

I think some yoga is a great idea. Even if it is just sit down and breathe in and out... might help. I volunteer in DD1's Kindergarten class and the teacher did something similiar when she wanted them to calm down and focus before we started literacy stations.

[froggie83]

my ds gets the crazies in the evenings after dinner. 10 minutes before i want him to wind down i stop him, set a timer with him and tell him its 10 minutes to bedtime routine so start winding down. then i remind him at the 5 minute mark andhe is usually able to settle down enough for bedtime books which calms him enough for bed.

[MommyShannon]

Oh yeah. Lately the 2 and 5 year old get crazy and 5 and 7 year old fight more than play together though. I have gotten way too dependent on Curious George to calm them down. In the evening I have too much to do and the baby is ready to nurse so they all watch George together and calm down. During the day if they are nuts I normally just lose it but my goal (when I'm thinking straight) is to find them an activity. I have a bin of play dough stuff I pull out. I also love the puff paint on Pintrest but you'll be constantly microwaving them to finish them. This weekend DH was out of town and they were crazy Saturday. Sunday I tried to stay ahead of it so we had pancakes for breakfast. I make them in 3 small sizes, give the kids each some powdered sugar and mini choc chips so they make snow men with them. It works great to occupy them calmly. Then it was nice so they played with cloud dough outside using small jello molds and stuff.
I love the dancing then cool down idea. I get them to play Just dance kids when they need to be active too.

[sparks3]

We have the exact same issue here, so I'm no help but def stalking for ideas. DS1 is way into football right now, so he will tackle his brother when he's not looking, which starts a whole evening of wrestling, tackling, sliding into the kitchen cabinets, throwing things. Not pleasant when trying to feed (shield!!!!) and settle a baby. Not to mention the screaming that goes along with it. Inevitably, someone always gets hurt, too.

Getting them to sit on separate pieces of furniture and watch tv works for a minute. Having them help me make dinner (something they both love) doesn't even work. It's like they get in this "let's go crazy" mood, and it's almost impossible to get it out of them. The fact that it's cold and they're pinned up inside all day probably doesn't help matters.

If you find something that works, let us know! The Dance Party is a good idea, I may try that.

[macksmom]

I should complain on here more often Every time I mention my kids behavior here it changes!

I am loving the ticket system. I think it may be a coincidence but still the wild behavior has totally stopped for now and they are focused on doing positive things to get tickets! DD2 only got out of her bed 3 times last night when usually I can't get her to go back at all and she ends up falling asleep on the couch and DH carries her to her bed. They both got ready for school without me needing to yell this morning!

It's amazing how similar all of our posts are...I wonder why it's so common to go batty right before bed?!

We still haven't had a smack down crazy wild moment since yesterday. I am curious if this ticket system will help me calm them down because really that is what my original gripe was....I will let you all know......