View Poll Results: WWYD?

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  • Come home as planned- DEC18

    5 13.89%
  • Stay and make that money- DEC23

    31 86.11%
Results 1 to 29 of 29

Thread: Wwyd?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    Hawaii
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    Default Wwyd?

    DH is off island working. He's been gone already for 2 weeks. We are flying up to visit him from Dec 5- Dec 10. He was supposed to come home by Dec 18. His boss just asked him to work until the 23rd!!! We are HUGE Christmas celebrators and him already not being here in the month of December is well, depressing to say the least. We could use the money if he stayed, but I'm thinking I rather have him home. We are definitely not well off, so the extra money would go to savings or paying off some bills and probably a few more presents. We are looking at one weeks work maybe $2500-$3000. Would you have him stay and work? Or would you say no way and have him fly home Dec. 18? His boss is giving him a choice. We know the smarter thing would be to work, but man. We had plans the week he was off. We were going to do all kinds of things. Not to mention my sister is flying up to spend some time with us...I was hoping DH would be there so he could watch kids and we could have sister time to do sister things here-shes never been here before.
    We also told DD that Daddy would be there for her Christmas performance. If he stays there, he misses it. So WWYD??
    Autumn (me) Darren () Naheana () Mahikoa () La'i () & Mana'o ()

  2. #2

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    Have him work. Good investment in career, impresses the boss, and it's a bunch of money. My opinion, YMMV.

  3. #3
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    May 2011
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    Default

    Forgot to mention-boss is his GOOD friend.
    Autumn (me) Darren () Naheana () Mahikoa () La'i () & Mana'o ()

  4. #4

    Default

    if you need the money (and who doesn't in this economy - which is likely to get significantly worse), get the money. IMO, holidays are about family and if you need a new holiday tradition to celebrate throughout the week after xmas as opposed to the week before, then run with it. Have fun with it. get your kids involved in coming up with ideas. E.g., you can get your daughter dressed up do an encore performance in the living room, post xmas. Heck, everyone in the family can take turns performing in the living room/backyard xmas eve pageant or whatever you devise.

    Clearly, you want him home, but imo, from what you say, i don't really see a hard choice.

  5. #5

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    I agree with the others -- go for the money. $2,500 to $3,000 is nothing to sneeze at, especially in this economy! I know what it's like to have your husband away from home -- mine travels for his job a LOT -- but if you need the money, I'd definitely say have him stay and work.
    Lynne, Grandma to three beautiful girls and one handsome little man!


  6. #6

    Default

    I'm the odd man out. Family before money. If you don't NEED the money to put a roof over your head or food on your table, then you will be better served to have him home making memories.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Default

    I see both sides. How does he feel? Which would he regret more? I wouldn't want him to come home just to spoil your holiday by complaining about the money he isn't earning. Or to he gone and feel bad the whole time.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  8. #8
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    May 2011
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    He wants to be home. He doesn't care about the money. And if he came home, he'd NEVER complain. He always wants to be home. Even when he's at work lol!
    Autumn (me) Darren () Naheana () Mahikoa () La'i () & Mana'o ()

  9. #9

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    I say home. Family is more important than career, as long as basics are paid for. Who cares about the boss being impressed if the whole family is miserable because you are apart at christmas.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by MomOfAnOnly View Post
    I'm the odd man out. Family before money. If you don't NEED the money to put a roof over your head or food on your table, then you will be better served to have him home making memories.
    Agreed.

  11. #11

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    I say stay and work!! Of course it will be hard but its singificant amount of money. I am going to be consulting over the holidays just to make more $$ which we need since we are moving. You do what you got to do!

  12. #12

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    If i understand the op, they are not apart at christmas. he's home on the 23rd. They're just not together the full week before christmas.

  13. #13

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    This is so personal. For us, we'd probably take the work/money and make the best of it. Our is a situation where we really do have to take any chance we can at extra money/work. But if you guys can swing it then get him home.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
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    New York
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    Default

    I was going to say work, but if he wants to be home, I say have him come home. You won't miss money you never had. I know my DH would of rather worked which is why my original reaction would be to have him stay and work.

  15. #15

    Default

    How much time will he get after Christmas? Will he be off between Christmas and New Years? It is tough, I know - it's always hard on us too when our family is not together - but that money is nothing to sneeze at, especially if you have bills to pay or savings to build. If he's going right back to work after the 26th, I might think differently, but if he'll be home for a little while afterward so you all get some quality time, then I think he should stay and work.
    -- mom to DD1 1/98 and DD2 10/09


  16. #16

    Default

    I don't know about you guys, but that would cover two entire mortgage payments for us! Aren't your kids all pretty young? Do you think it would matter to them too much if he couldn't spend the days leading up to Christmas at home? My kids wouldn't know the difference and I think we could make up for it in the days following Christmas. For me the really special time is Christmas morning. I'd be heartbroken if my DH missed that, but I could deal with it if he was gone the days before. Tough call though!
    Last edited by sunkiss; 12-05-2012 at 10:46 AM.
    ~Andrea~


  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
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    Default

    Work. If you have access to skype on your mobile, or facetime, i'd do that for the Christmas program. In this economy, I just can't see taking the risk. Even if boss is a friend. And if he is a friend, maybe they can negotiate leaving the 22nd.
    Phoebe Grace 6-22-11; 37.5" and 26.2# at 2 years old! She is my wild child!
    Me & Geoff, 40; DD Phoebe, our June Bug

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MomOfAnOnly View Post
    I'm the odd man out. Family before money. If you don't NEED the money to put a roof over yiour head or food on your table, then you will be better served to have him home making memories.
    I agree with Carrie. As Suze Orman says 'people first, then money, then things '! If its not vital to your survival i'd say the togetherness is more valuable. If you cant eat or pay your rent then he should work....

    ETA: I have found when you have kids there is ALWAYS reason to need more money. It doesn't matter what the economy is like - let's face it, kids are expensive and there will always be something to put the money towards - college, clothes, home repairs, etc. If that is only 1 week of income for you and you feel comfortable going without it then opt for the family time. It's not the same but today DH has his xmas party for work and I asked him to skip his 2nd job so he can be home a little longer before leaving again and being gone until after bedtime. We will lose that $ but to me it's more important that I get a break and the kids see him more than an hour today. Extra $ is always helpful but the sanity of the leaders of the house are vital in making the household run smoothly and that trickles down to the kids as well....jmo.....
    Last edited by macksmom; 12-05-2012 at 03:01 PM.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    If my husband to have that chance to make that much money that would be like 4-6 months of our rent paid for one week of some disappointment but, I'd make the best of it if we had that chance. I love my husband and it would be hard but, we'd be in the boat of we need the money. However, if you are financially set maybe he could still work and use that money for family fun later like a vacation or a trip?



  20. #20

    Default

    To me there is not a hard choice because you stated you could pay debt with this extra money so that means stay and work.
    yes, it is hard but guess what not having to worry about extra debt to me it is important...he is the solely provider in your family (it seems) which means he needs his job and he needs to show that his job is important too (not as much as family of course).....they are not asking him to stay and spend christmas eve or day at work....he will be home in time to celebrate both so I say stay, make the extra money and enjoy a christmas together knowing that there is less debt to worry about.

  21. #21
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    May 2007
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    Default

    We would absolutely take the money. And just move around the family celebrations as much as we could. Tape the christmas thing at school.
    Family is important but financial security is too....at least for us that makes us feel less stressed and able to enjoy being together even more.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  22. #22
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    Jun 2007
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    Default

    We would opt for being together; we are very much a family who will spend every ounce of our time together, especially at Christmas.

  23. #23

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    Big question is if he stayed and came home on the 23rd, how long would he be home? If only a few days then I'd say come home on the 18th. If he'll be home for awhile then I'd say let him work, especially since you all will be visiting him from Dec. 5-10. Ultimately it is your family though and your call...I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas no matter which way you choose!

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    We would opt for being together; we are very much a family who will spend every ounce of our time together, especially at Christmas.
    This is us exactly. I mean when can you NOT use money. But I just feel that I want him home more than anything.

  25. #25
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    Jun 2007
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    Default

    I would take the money. Ive never been really attached to holidays. I honestly think you can celebrate the holidays whenever. It's a family thing, set your own christmas celebration date with him... no harm in adding more fun days.

  26. #26

    Default

    Work, for sure. Your family's security is a part of the importance of family! Concerning the holiday - its not the date that is important. When he gets home do your celebration as normal, no reason to not do so just because it isn't on the same day as you had planned.
    Me (26), DH (31), DD (3), and DS (1).



  27. #27
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
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    12,026

    Default

    It really depends on what is more important to your family. For us, we would take the money, especially that much money. We would celebrate together when he got home. But that's us. If having him home that week is more important for your family, then do it.

  28. #28
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    6,874

    Default

    Does he get to offset those hours with extra time off? I am generally all for being practical, but in this case, it seems like you all want the same thing, which is to have him home.

  29. #29

    Default

    i would say work.. that extra money would be great.. thats alot of money in 1 week wish dh brough that home in 1 week he bareely bring that home in a month.


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