So, I've been spotting kind of heavily, brownish-reddish. I've been spotting for about a week now, it's been getting heavier and the red tinge has been getting more noticeable. I also had a tiny blob of uterine lining today. I went to the ER Sunday because my husband called the Nurse Advice Line and she said the cramping and blood was bad, so see a doc now. I am traveling and I've not yet met my OB doc. The ER doc ran my HCG levels but said the baby is too small to see on ultrasound, so all she could do was confirm the pregnancy and test to see if I'm losing blood. My levels came back perfect and she said I'm right on target for 4 weeks 6 days (yesterday's estimated gestational age). She then said I just need to watch for heavy bleeding and to not worry so much. But worrying is so hard not to do. She said this is just my confused body still trying to have a period. She did say that if I get heavier bleeding to go to the nearest ER and have my HCG levels run and compared to Sunday's levels (which were in the 2000+ range). I got my blood type yesterday as well, since I didn't know it, and I'm B positive (ironically) so they ruled out problems with blood type.

Anyway, I'm most likely fine, since I'm not soaking pads or anything. But my emotional state now sucks. I feel afraid to get any more attached to my baby in case I lose her/him. (I really tend to think of the baby as her, so I'll probably have a boy. hehe) I also had to reveal the pregnancy to my family because going to the ER meant I had to tell my mom, grandma, and sister since I might have missed the baptism of my niece (I'm her godmother). I made the baptism, barely, but the pastor announced my pregnancy to my sister's church and my sister announced it to her whole in-laws. We had to tell my mother in law, who guessed I was pregnant the minute I stepped off the plane this afternoon. She just started dancing and I wanted to cry all over again because I'm just so afraid of bad news. Both my mom and mil have said they had lots of bleeding with their firstborns (myself and my husband), so they are very empathetic and hopeful. How do I get back to hopeful but protect myself from too much pain if this fails?

I tried Googling my symptoms but there was just so much doom and gloom out there.