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Thread: For older moms or grandmas question...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    Default For older moms or grandmas question...

    Do you tend to not sweat the small stuff as much? For example if your child or grandchild makes a mess do you have more patience? Do you get nervous as much if your child has a minor fall from the playground? I tend to be less worried about some things though I am a younger mom (23) with my 2ND child VS my 1ST Child. I still worry about messes at old people's homes that Sophia might make. We are going to see my grandparents and she can self feed with her hands and is transiting to more "real" food vs. "baby" food. I worry about her making a mess but, I know my grandparents won't worry about it as much. Does the worry decrease with age?

  2. #2


    I think it's more of a personality thing than an age thing. I don't sweat messes and never have, in part I am sure because of my early childhood career but also it is just my nature to not worry about stuff like that. My mom never minded messes my kids made, nor does my dad. Dbf's mom, however, is very agitated by messes and she will wash my kids faces, hands, and the floor under them several times WHILE they are eating. At least she did until I asked her to stop (at my house, anyway.) Being at her house is very nerve wracking for me because she will practically hyperventilate if they drop food.

  3. #3


    I m 33 years old, so on the older end. I definitely sweat the small stuff!! I am a pretty anxious person, though. Like Bridget said, I think it has to do with someone's personality. I know that one grandparent is more lax than the other. Although, I think my mom has mellowed out some as she has aged.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2009


    I agree that it is a personality thing. I don't worry about small hurts and messes, as long as the responsible party cleans up. I have a friend who is a tad bit older, and she is much more anxious about that sort of thing than I am.

  5. #5


    Some may be age, but like others have said, some is personality, too. Also, everyone defines "small stuff" differently, But sure, at 43, there are things that I see posted here (or elsewhere) that make me wonder where one's priorities are. how a parent gets so worked up over something so insignificant. No doubt, though, that there are plenty of moms here (lol, most, I'm sure) who see what I post and think that I am off my rocker, too. We all do the best that we can in whatever way that we know - fingers crossed.

  6. #6


    I spent the first 1/2 of my time as a mother sweating every.single.detail and then said for the rest of their teenage years if only I had known how quick it would go by I would've worried less and enjoyed more. Then...poof! I had the twins and I promise you with every inch of my soul...I don't sweat anything when it comes to the two of them! I now know how quick it will go by and could give a rats behind about the little stuff! I am so much more relaxed, yet they completely wear me out with their energy if that makes any sense!
    Dee Dee, Mom to 2 handsome young men & 2 beautiful girls!

  7. #7


    i have often heard the line "with the first child, you pick up a dropped pacifier and disinfect it; with the second, you brush off the dirt; with the third and beyond, you just shove the thing back in there."

    When we decided to have a kid, I told my husband that I intended to start somewhere between 2-3. Of course, it didn't start out that way (esp with a NICU-bound sick newborn and my own PPD), but I think that I've settled into that more or less. It's not like my kid is juggling knives, and sometimes, I get anxious about whether I do enough for or with him, but overall, I think we're doing alright. Actually, I wish that I could get that first year back so I could enjoy it as I would now.
    Last edited by ibisgirldc; 11-15-2012 at 09:23 PM.

  8. #8


    I think it can go either way. My DH is a very type A, detailed person and he is very relaxed/laid back with our boys and really all of our extended family. He says he came to a realization that it wasn't worth it to stress about little things with people you love. I feel like his business persona is extremely different from who he is at home. I also think some people are just born more relaxed.
    My 3 yo cuties!

  9. #9


    I also think it's a personality thing. Most things I'm pretty laid back about. Messes in the house aren't one of them. I used to struggle with OCD. I can say that having 8 kids has definitely impacted that. I had to learn to let things go and overcome a lot of the anxieties. But I still freak out when they do things like write on a wall or not pick up after themselves. I have to work hard not to freak over spills because I know they're accidents, and I am a major klutz so they come by it honest. But other stuff doesn't worry me much. My kids are normal adventurous, mischievous kids. They get bumps and bruises and we've had quite a few trips to the ER for stitches and dermabond and one broken bone, but I'm not really overprotective in that regard. I think I was spoiled because my first child was extremely advanced and independent. I never really liked kids until I had one so I didn't really know what typical was. She was so capable, that I never worried much. The only time I get kind of freaked out and anxious is when we are at someone's house who I don't know well. I'm so worried they'll break something or get into something they shouldn't.
    Mary Jane, doula and mom of Vada, Brynna, Tea, Moira, Kyan, Ambria, Aslan, and Anakin.
    “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” ~ Dr. Seuss

  10. #10


    I was just talking about this with my daughter. I am definitely a different mom to my littlest than I was with my olders. I worry, but about different things. And I don't sweat the small stuff, and even some of the big stuff, because I know it all works out. I have more patience for the age appropriate behavior. Like with my first 4 I wouldn't have let them pull out a whole box of tissues because it made more work for me and ruined the tissues. Now for #6, I'll let her do it because she's having so much fun, and it doesn't ruin the tissues after all I also tend not to stress out about food or sleep that I see completely consume younger moms, and I know it did me when my older ones were young. For me I don't know if it is an age thing as much as an experience thing.

  11. #11


    I am 39, almost 40. I am very mellow about messes and bruises and such. However, certain behavior such as spitting, screaming too much close to my ears, pulling my hair, to name a few, drive me absolutely crazy. Absolutely. I do control myself but I sometimes want to yell at them for that. Some is personality but some is age too. During the days I was very sleep deprived it was the worst. So it was a combination of factors.
    KEVIN (6) & MATTHEW (4)

  12. #12


    I think it is personality with a little age in there. I am 37 with a 3 year old. I am the Mom if the pacifier drops on the floor, I put it in my mouth to clean it off and then gave it back to him. I had rather for him to have my germs instead of the floor's of whatever place. Or I packed more pacifiers in case that had happened. If it was in our house, I picked it up and put it in his mouth. I do have patience for my DS. I don't get upset over the littlest things. Something spilled, well clean it up and it is all fine. I don't like him to go out in public with a stain on his clothes. If we are home, who cares, wear the stained shirt from lunch all day.

    I knew when he was born the baby/toddler years would go by fast so I wanted/still do take in every moment with him as much as possible. So I don't clean my house all the time. I am not on the phone all the time when we are home. When we are together, he has my attention 90% of the time (I do have to cook meals and take bathroom breaks....LOL).

    There are times I think age has some impact on raising a child but most of the time it is the personality of the person that does that.
    Sandy 36; Jonathan (DH) 38; Caleb born 11/5/09

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