help telling parents

[Alyson3396]

Hi ladies,

I know you are all trying to adopt and i hope this doesn't offend anyone but hoping for some advice.

I am currently pregnant and i have been considering adoption because the father and i are not on really good terms. I am 25 and i have taken care of myself since i was 17. Financially it would be really hard but its possible.

I am really considering adoption because i did not grow up in a split home and i have always told myself that i refuse to bring a child into a split home. After all this child didnt ask to be brought into this world. I am trying to think of the best thing for this child.

My problem is that my parents and his mom are so excited. My grandmother gave her first born up for adoption and she regretted ever sense and i know that my parents and my grandma wouldnt understand that i am trying to think of the best interest of the child.

Do any of you wonderful ladies have any suggestions on how to talk to my parents and my grandma about this?

[kellyowens]

(((Hugs)))! Are you or they open to kinship adoption...where a relative raises your LO?

I wish I had suggestions but I don't...that would be so hard! My heart goes out to you!! Really praying everything works out!

Please kup!

[Cosmosmom]

have you met with an agency yet? They would have a social worker who has dealt with this before and could help you and give you advice. I think that it is fairly common that the grandparents are not on board with the adoption plan.

Good luck with your decision.

[keepingfaith]

First of all you're not going to offend anyone here...we've all been through or are going through the adoption/foster process and have all asked questions.

Our first birthmother was about your age and had made up her mind and refused to let anyone change it. Her mom and grandma were against her adoption plan but she knew what she wanted and stood strong in her decision. She said she always knew Josy wasn't meant to be hers and that she wanted what she felt was best for her, not what anyone else thought was best. Our second birthmother was younger, she thought she wanted to make an adoption plan and did. We met her and moved forward in the adoption process but once the baby was born her mom and grandma easily changed her mind and she decided to parent. Whatever you decide has to be YOUR decision...you know what is best for you and your baby.

Good luck in whatever you decide.
Jess

[kellyowens]

First of all you're not going to offend anyone here...we've all been through or are going through the adoption/foster process and have all asked questions.

Our first birthmother was about your age and had made up her mind and refused to let anyone change it. Her mom and grandma were against her adoption plan but she knew what she wanted and stood strong in her decision. She said she always knew Josy wasn't meant to be hers and that she wanted what she felt was best for her, not what anyone else thought was best. Our second birthmother was younger, she thought she wanted to make an adoption plan and did. We met her and moved forward in the adoption process but once the baby was born her mom and grandma easily changed her mind and she decided to parent. Whatever you decide has to be YOUR decision...you know what is best for you and your baby.

Good luck in whatever you decide.
Jess

Well said!

How are you doing Alyson? (((Hugs)))...thinking of you!