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Thread: So, something crazy happened today... (x-posted in STC)

  1. #1

    Smile So, something crazy happened today... (x-posted in STC)

    A little background first... A nurse that I work with has 2 boys, and they have a friend. This friend is 9 years old, and spends a lot of time at their house. He was spending the weekend with this family a couple of months ago, and his father got deported to Mexico (after being arrested for physical abuse against the boy's mom) and his mom became homeless (with this boy's 7yo brother and 3yo sister). So, my nurse-friend got permission from the mother to let the boy stay with her and her family until their living situation can be straightened out. I guess this boy usually babysits his younger siblings while his mom is at the bar. His mom and he are illegal immigrants, but his 2 younger siblings were born in the USA. He's super cute, is a great student, and loves playing on their football team.

    Well, the mom says that she just wants what is best for him, and he doesn't want to go home. To put him in the foster system would probably get him and his mom deported (who knows what would happen to his 2 younger US-citizen siblings), and CPS has already been called on this family a few times.

    This situation is super messy, and the nurse said that is mom is considering adoption, but the nurse already has a full house and can't take him permanently. Their first step is to seek legal counsel to see how they can make him a legal citizen, and then to see if the mom can stabilize her life (of course keeping him with his family should be the goal, but might not be best in this situation). After that, adoption might become a reality for this boy...and I told the nurse to keep DH and I in mind if it comes to this! I have no idea where this will go, but it just seems oddly right.

    But like I said, who knows, I'm definitely not trying to push anything, just making ourselves open and available to this crazy situation (or any others that present themselves in the future). It has got me thinking about entering the foster system again. There are no foster families in our county, and I've heard that it is a pretty easy process here because there is such a need. Who knows how this will turn out...but it feels like a breath of fresh air in the middle of all this disappointment and heartache.


    Erica 33, DH 34, STC for 4+ years, Diagnosed DOR 4/2011, mom to 4 , Barbados IVF March 2013!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
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    I replied in stc also but wanted to let you know again I'm thinking of you and praying for this situation. It's an exciting possibility :-) . Kup!

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    I've been thinking about you :-) . Have you thought further regarding foster care? I think it's really good you're keeping yourself open. That's incredible that there are no foster families in your area! Maybe you could contact DHS and get your "toe wet"...maybe get more specific info about the process locally so you can mull it over and discuss with DH. I know for me, it helps to have the facts even if I decide against something :-) .

    (((Hugs)))...praying for you!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
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    Virginia
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    Definitely an exciting possibility!

    I just wanted to add that with there being no foster families in your area, you could probably have a lot more freedom than you might think in adopting from foster care or just fostering if you are interested. I think it's very area specific. I've heard so many nightmares about it, but when I made the call to DSS I was shocked at how positive and helpful everyone was. We don't have a ton of cases in our area which helps and we also share homes with a nearby city that doesn't have many foster homes. It seems that there's a lot more support in our area than you typically expect, and so far we've had nothing but good, positive experiences. If you're interested, it definitely might be worth making a call and feeling out the situation. Good luck with everything!
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27) DH (30) Diagnosed PCOS and Stage 1 Endometriosis/Diagnosed CVID 2007

  5. #5

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    Thanks for your responses! We have definitely been thinking about foster care, and have considered it before. We do have an extra bedroom, so the set up would be no problem. I think we are going to focus on one thing at a time...Barbados IVF in Feb, and if that is a bust, head in the foster care direction. We have always wanted to adopt, but it is so cost- and time-prohibitive, foster care is definitely a great option for us.

    Leah...definitely rooting for you! From how well your whole process went, to the good news on your DD (and I know how rough DDs can be), this just seems to right for you guys!

    and Kelly, so hoping you get your BFP ASAP!


    Erica 33, DH 34, STC for 4+ years, Diagnosed DOR 4/2011, mom to 4 , Barbados IVF March 2013!!!

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