Would this bother you ?

[christianaaa]

So dbf's brother has a daughter who will be four next month. He is a very good dad (I would never say otherwise) and he does what he can to support his family. However, he is the type to do anything he can to keep the attention on him (not desperately but if something doesn't go his way, he throws a fit). Anyway, so they have been planning to get married next year and have been saying they wouldn't be having anymore kids for a few years. I asked Greg before we told family what he thought his brother would say or do when the attention is not ALWAYS on his daughter anymore. His response was "I've waited 30 years for the right person, if that bothers him, oh well". We just got a call from his brother asking what we thought of his gf getting her IUD taken out and trying for another baby. -____-

My response is, they're Gonna do what they want so why does it matter what we think. But in reality... It really bothers us!

Dbf sent a text to him and said "having a baby was something really important to me, I waited 30 years. You guys are great parents and its up to you what you do, but remember how you guys felt when you got to go through all of this" I think Greg handled this really well . Would you have been honest if it really bothered you? Or be happy for them regardless?

[LaurainFL]

I know each family dynamic is different, but it wouldn't bother me. I actually had both of my babies during the same years as my two sister-in-laws. We all 3 had babies in 2008 and 2011. For me, it added to the excitement, and it was nice to have someone to commisserate with during pregnancy. The main benefit, though, is that my boys LOVE having cousins close in age. We don't get to spend time with them that often since we are across the country, but it is so much fun when the kids are all together!

[Ksears]

I know each family dynamic is different, but it wouldn't bother me. I actually had both of my babies during the same years as my two sister-in-laws. We all 3 had babies in 2008 and 2011. For me, it added to the excitement, and it was nice to have someone to commisserate with during pregnancy. The main benefit, though, is that my boys LOVE having cousins close in age. We don't get to spend time with them that often since we are across the country, but it is so much fun when the kids are all together!

This!

While I don't have any siblings, my hubby has a sister and brother. His sister had a little girl in Jan. 10 (after I had my first son in 08). Well, She had her in Jan, I found out I was pregnant in March...so while we weren't pregnant at the same time, it was still exciting to have them relatively close together (within the same year). I think for me, I would like the support of having someone else go through pregnancy with me....Though, in my opinion (and I'm not judging anyone by any means, but for me,) I would wait until we were married to "try" for a baby. But I hope you guys can overcome this and not have any hard feelings because family is so important, especially to the kids. Good luck.

[christianaaa]

Maybe it's just the way he went about it that really bothers us. He asked what we thought of it (not that it's our decision) and when Greg gave him an honest answer, he got defensive. Which I think was his plan (just by his track record). He always brings things up to Greg that he KNOWS will bother him. If they got pregnant I wouldn't NOT be happy just because we are Having our first. Oh and he also uninvited us to his daughters bday party and said if Greg died tomorrow he wouldn't come to his funeral (all because he answered his question honestly). The whole conversation was through texts so I saw both sides and I just can't believe the way his brother reacted.

[Babidol]

My SIL and I were due about 2 weeks apart with our first. It bothered me a little bit at first but I got over it quickly. I'm not here to determine anyone else's fertility, really. Now that the kids are both 3 it's awesome to see them playing with each other and calling each other their best friends. We got pregnant again about 6 months apart but I had a loss. So now this next baby is due on my 2nd nephews birthday. I find it weird that he asked but in the end it's up to them.

[babykenny]

It is nice to have cousins the same age, and often brings families closer. However, it can also turn into a competition of who does what better than who.

Texts are so bad. Sounds like they need to talk face to face!

[christianaaa]

It is nice to have cousins the same age, and often brings families closer. However, it can also turn into a competition of who does what better than who.

Texts are so bad. Sounds like they need to talk face to face!

Well it started out as a phone call but his brother got upset and hung up and started texting him throwing insults around. (Well that's not true, Greg sent the first text but it was not rude at all. He handled it very maturely IMO)

His brother will get over it. Eventually. For as long as I've known him, he has a hard time not being center of attention... It's really frustrating!

And it's totally not a "baby competition" for us or anything like that. If they want to have a baby, good for them... I hope things are easy and happen quickly. I just think this particular situation was not handled correctly on his brothers half.

[MaMa2boys]

IMO when someone is pregnant in the family it doesn't always have to be a showdown (though in your case it may be the track record) in my expirence pregnancy is contagious and when someone is pregnant the people close to them just start thinking about babies more and wanting babies more and a lot decide that it could be time for another.. "baby fever"

I have a large extended family and there is always someone pregnant in my family, it's no new thing to have group baby showers. I have about 25 cousins. I have a cousin due the same day as me.

My best friend and I have been neck and neck with our kids.. we've been pregnant at the same time but mine ended in miscarriage, our kids are a year apart.. It's kind of funny (My son was born 10/23/2006 her daughter 10/10/2007 we were pregnant together in 2008-2009 but I had a miscarriage in Feb her daughter was born 05/28/2009 my next pregnancy was my youngest born 05/17/2010.. now we are both pregnant together, she is due Jan 23 and I am due April 23)

The only time I ever felt sad was after the loss of my pregnancy.

People are going to do what they are going to do, I only find it really wierd that he asked what you thought of it. You can't try to control someones family choices, but then again I wouldn't ask someone else other than my spouse for their opinion lol

The birth of your child will be spectacular and no one can steal that away from you! It's your own personal glory regardless of what other people share in it. I know that it's special to feel your family support and excitement but they will be happy for you regardless of sharing the spotlight with someone else.. there is always enough love in a family to go around for a new baby!

[babykenny]

IMO when someone is pregnant in the family it doesn't always have to be a showdown (though in your case it may be the track record) in my expirence pregnancy is contagious and when someone is pregnant the people close to them just start thinking about babies more and wanting babies more and a lot decide that it could be time for another.. "baby fever"

I have a large extended family and there is always someone pregnant in my family, it's no new thing to have group baby showers. I have about 25 cousins. I have a cousin due the same day as me.

My best friend and I have been neck and neck with our kids.. we've been pregnant at the same time but mine ended in miscarriage, our kids are a year apart.. It's kind of funny (My son was born 10/23/2006 her daughter 10/10/2007 we were pregnant together in 2008-2009 but I had a miscarriage in Feb her daughter was born 05/28/2009 my next pregnancy was my youngest born 05/17/2010.. now we are both pregnant together, she is due Jan 23 and I am due April 23)

The only time I ever felt sad was after the loss of my pregnancy.

People are going to do what they are going to do, I only find it really wierd that he asked what you thought of it. You can't try to control someones family choices, but then again I wouldn't ask someone else other than my spouse for their opinion lol

The birth of your child will be spectacular and no one can steal that away from you! It's your own personal glory regardless of what other people share in it. I know that it's special to feel your family support and excitement but they will be happy for you regardless of sharing the spotlight with someone else.. there is always enough love in a family to go around for a new baby!

Well said, my friend.

[NHKate]

I find it strange that he asked for an opinion, especially if he didn't really want to hear an honest answer. His response to that seems totally inappropriate. However, I wouldn't be upset by them trying for another baby, just about the conversation and the way he handled that (insults, uninviting, etc).

[APAL1021]

My SIL and i were prego at the same time 4 months apart she was first and it sort of brought us close again and its great that kids are close in age VERY close and they are like twins growing together so its fun - but again depends on your relationship with them and how well you know them and their motives. I would personally ACT happy if you honestly feel they are trying to do something to take the attention away??? KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS lol - but if it bothers it bothers you but you cant let that be seen bc its a baby in the picture...-

[christianaaa]

I am not sure why he asked either if he didn't want an honest answer.

I honestly cannot believe the way he is acting right now. They did a fantasy football league and his brother kicked him out of the league today (this was something they put money into)... I just cannot believe how childish he is being about all of this!

[APAL1021]

I am not sure why he asked either if he didn't want an honest answer.

I honestly cannot believe the way he is acting right now. They did a fantasy football league and his brother kicked him out of the league today (this was something they put money into)... I just cannot believe how childish he is being about all of this!

Just do YOU - and be happy and ignore them - its the best way for them to HOPEFULLY see how they are acting...no extra stress needed at this time.

[christianaaa]

Just do YOU - and be happy and ignore them - its the best way for them to HOPEFULLY see how they are acting...no extra stress needed at this time.

At this point, I just feel awful for Greg that his brother is being so spiteful.

[APAL1021]

i do as well. - sibling rivalries stink - my DH and sister CONSTANTLY fight - and at this point i dont think they will talk anymore but will hang in the same room and pretend they dont exist but as of last night my husband refuses to go to her house anymore to eat or anything which makes it harder now on me b/c she is married to my brother. lol