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Thread: The bottom of the barrel....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2012
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    Default The bottom of the barrel....

    I feel like total crap! This girl I work with has been trying for a year and she just told everyone today she is preggers. I know I should be happy for her, and I am, but it just reminds me even more of me not being able to conceive right now. Everyone was talking about it all day, what she wants to name it, when is she due... blah blah blah... BUT not only is she preg, that hurts badly, but she is also due the second week of June, which my wedding anniversary is June 2nd. She will be taking 6wks maternity leave... I will not have my anniversary vacation now. Double whammy! I am happy for her but I bawled my eyes out the moment I left work and am struggling to keep tears back now. I can't seem to do anything right, I can't even get pregnant right. Everything I touch falls apart. I feel horrible. I wanna run away!


    Cait[24] & Gene-Paul[28] Dx with PCOS & Left Tube Blocked Dec. '12
    03/22/13
    Sean Patrick born 3/11/14, 7lbs 13oz

  2. #2
    tiggerlb Guest

    Default

    So sorry to hear this news for you. Have you tested yet? Because there is still hope since no af.

  3. #3

    Default

    I'm sorry you're going through this. If she's due the 2nd week in June, could you take off the first week in June or maybe the last week in May? Or you could tell your boss that you've already had your plans made, and because you've had to prepay you can't cancel them. Maybe you'll be off on maternity leave for a while when she is too! Your chart looks like you DTD at the right time! Maybe your something good will happen just when you least expect it. Try to keep your head up, I know its hard.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2012
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    Default

    Well I took my last Provera pill last night so I am waiting for AF to show before they up my Clomid to 100mgs. I am just so sadden and numb because it's now hit me how horrible all this is. No matter what I do, it never works out the way I had planned. I am the only other person in the office that can do her job so there is just no way around it, I am going to have to skip my Anniversary trip. We were really looking forward to it but guess it doesn't matter now.

    I've been cramping for days and my nipples/boobs are so sore, my face is breaking out like crazy and I am having horrible mood swings but mostly been depressed today. The only way I can describe how I feel right now is that I need to run away. I go to work and sit in my car and just dread getting out of it. I drive home and imagine myself driving forever and never turning back. The only thing I have to cling to is my DH and I thank god that he was home tonight and not at work because I would have cried the whole night.

    I took a test this afternoon, just after I found out about my coworker I thought maybe it's a sign, maybe I am preg too! Everyone said we would end up pg at the same time! So I ran out on lunch and took a test, BFN on a FRER! I shouldn't have taken the test when I was so emotionally upset. It just made it worse. I bought a pack of 3 tests so I am gonna probably take one in the morning too but then I think, why bother? It's gonna be a negative, I can't do anything right so why would I end up getting preg right? No instead I am gonna need medical help to even do this!


    Cait[24] & Gene-Paul[28] Dx with PCOS & Left Tube Blocked Dec. '12
    03/22/13
    Sean Patrick born 3/11/14, 7lbs 13oz

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2012
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    Default

    I just hate that I am going to have to go to work everyday and watch her happiness and her belly grow while I am struggling still. She didn't need medical help, it did take her 12 months and she had gone to the doctor and just came back from the doc telling her everything was normal and two days later she is preg. Idk I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself, having a pity party and should put on my big girl pants and cowgirl up but I just can't so easy on this one.


    Cait[24] & Gene-Paul[28] Dx with PCOS & Left Tube Blocked Dec. '12
    03/22/13
    Sean Patrick born 3/11/14, 7lbs 13oz

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
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    New York
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    Default

    I'm sorry hub I can't imagine how horrible that must be. Sending you lots of hugs and baby dust!!!

  7. #7
    Join Date
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    Hun! Not hub lol ;)

  8. #8

    Default

    im sorry to hear this. Its very easy to get down on ones self I do it every couple of months. Just think though a year from now you could be looking down at a little baby boy or girl, or a baby bump waiting to pop and it will all have been worth it. Keep your head up tomorrows another day.

  9. #9
    Join Date
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    Default

    I took another test this morning, both look negative, thought I saw something but I was probably wrong.

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    Also my temp shot up today, not sure why though... last night I didn't take Provera cuz I am all done with them so maybe that's why.


    Cait[24] & Gene-Paul[28] Dx with PCOS & Left Tube Blocked Dec. '12
    03/22/13
    Sean Patrick born 3/11/14, 7lbs 13oz

  10. #10

    Default

    I dunno, I think you should test again tomorrow. I don't want to get your hopes up, but stay positive!

  11. #11

    Default

    I know how you feel. Last year, everyone I knew was pregnant without even trying. Then I had an incubator in my class and the chickens did not grow. I felt horrible because I couldn't even grow THOSE babies let alone my own. I would be in the same situation as you right now if I weren't pregnant myself. And I would also have a hard time with that. It is hard to TTC and watch others around us succeed. It's not fair! I also have students whose parents do not deserve them, they treat them like they are a burden. (one parent doesn't even talk to the kid unless it's to yell) There is no reason that you can't get a child but someone like that can.
    Took us 20 months to catch our little elf!! to all my TTC friends!

  12. #12
    tiggerlb Guest

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    I do not want to get your hopes up either but I think I can see a shadow of a line starting. Like mine at 11 dpo. Had to really squint and see it though and not sure I was really seing the line or just a evap shadow.. It would not pick up at all on the camera. Pm me your address and I will mail you a few of my IC's. The wondfo's picked up on it before my answer's did. What test did you use? First response or answer?

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