A baby, having a baby

[Asusser]

Hi there. I have taken three positive pregnancy tests in the last two days, so I suppose that I am pregnant, and given my menstrual cycle I should be due at the end of May. I am going to see my Physician later this week to confirm everything and make sure everything is looking healthy.

I am equal parts scared, anxious, and excited. I don't have many people to talk to right now, so I thought I would post on here to see if I can get some support/comfort/advice. I am only eighteen, and I am worried about so many things regarding this [probable] baby; not so much "giving up my life", but rather will I be able to give this child everything that it needs, physically and emotionally. I am currently unemployed (I quit my job a month ago...smart move -_-), but my boyfriend has a stable career as an EMT, is going through training to become a Paramedic, and will be finished when baby comes. He doesn't make a lot of money, but we do live pretty comfortably when we manage our spending well. I suppose I should give a little bit of my back story, so everyone doesn't think I'm some white trash teen mom, because I feel like that is how I'm going to be seen when I announce it to the rest of the world (I live in a small town, where there is a high rate of teen pregnancy and low income families).

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and have been living together for just over a year now. My father committed suicide last summer, and I couldn't stand being in that town, where everyone knows everything about everyone, and everyone knew my father and family. I hate getting sympathy, and even more I hated the rumors. My mom decided to move upstate, and I didn't want to leave my senior year, so I moved in with my boyfriend who lived an hour away from where I was at (I live in an area where most of the towns are small farming/logging communities). We have been together through thick and thin, and I know that two years is not a very long time, but a lot has happened in those two years. We have talked about getting married eventually, but we both want to finish our educations before that happens.

So, now I am in this boat about to go through so many changes in life. I am scared for the baby's health, because I was recently diagnosed with Crohn's disease, I am on Humira, and I have not yet gone into remission. I also want some advice about continuing school; I absolutely do not want to sacrifice my education, for the child's sake and mine. I am on track to graduate with my Associate of Science in June, and am planning to transfer to University to complete my B.S. (I will transfer as a Junior), and then go on to a Physicians Assistant program. If anyone can give me some advice, on anything baby related really, it would be very much appreciated! I was seven when my baby brother was born, and I played an active part in taking care of him from the time I was about eleven, so babies are not completely uncharted territory for me.

I also want to add that my baby is at risk for Huntington's disease (my boyfriend tested positive) and I am in a dilemma, because if I do test and it is positive, the baby has to be aborted since it would take away the option for it to choose on its own whether or not to test for it.

[Scarlett]

Grats and welcome, I wish you a healthy and happy 9 months!

No judgement on giving birth so young, I was 19 with my first, she will be 20 next month and has grown into a wonderful young woman I am very pround of. It took me a while to complete some education and get on the right track but it was worth it. Having a family that was supportive was very helpful.

I do not have any experience or knowledge with the health issues you face, but these forums have a wonderful group of women and I encourage you to also post in expecting in general and New Moms with any questions.

[Cerendipy]

First, hello and welcome! You certainly do have a lot going on, but you sound like a very mature young woman with her head on straight, so I am sure this baby will be lucky to have a mom like you!

While I don't have any experience with Chrons or Huntingtons, you definelty need to be seen by an OB. As part of your prenatal appointment, which occurs early on, they will test your blood for a whole host of medical conditions. Your OB will be able to tell you what to do about managing your condition, both in terms of medication and diet, while you are pregnant. The best thing you can do now is not to worry until you know something for sure, as worrying never helps.

Personally, I think it is tremendous that you want to finish your education. I agree with you that it is not only important for you, but for your baby. It will set a great example for your child that you were able to raise him or her and obtain your degree. My mother graduated from college when I was 5 while working and raising me, and I think she is remarkable. It will take dedication and strength, but it seems like you have both those traits so you are certainly off to a good start!

On a side note, my husband is a Captain for our local FD. You will find the network of families is usually alot like the military - everyone takes care of eachother and looks out for one another. My husband works 24 hours on shift, and then has 48 hours off, so every third day I am single parent, so that part is hard, but the network of other firefighter and their families means that if I ever need anyone, they are only a phone call away.

Babies are alot of work, but they bring so much joy, too. Hopefully, all of the ladies on this board will be a helpful and supportive source for you during the next 8 months.

Congrats again!

[Asusser]

I am definitely going to see an OB! I am pretty sure that my Crohn's classifies me as a "high risk" pregnancy, and am sure that my Gastroenterologist will refer me to an excellent OB. I have an appointment with him next Tuesday, so I am going to see my normal physician until then.

Almost everyone at the station here is very close, it's really nice. I haven't gotten close with any of the families, mostly because there is a ten year age gap with almost all of them, but everyone is so nice and I am sure that with this baby I will become close with at least a few of them. Mine does 48 hour shifts and then one or two on call shifts, and since we live fifteen miles out of town, any time the first ambulance gets called out he has to go in to the station :/ But I'm not too worried about it. I know that it is a lot of work, but I don't think it will be too bad; I have an intense maternal instinct and have an urge to take care of everyone anyways. I feel like people tend to make child-rearing out to be ten times harder than it is. But maybe I'm just naive. hehe.

[APAL1021]

Asusser - i have PM'd you.

[MaMa2boys]

Chrons disease runs in my family.. pregnancy can actually make symptoms of Chrons better because pregnancy suppresses the immune system anyway, and pregnancy secretes the hormone relaxin which can help with the painful spasms you may get with Chrons.

You're taking Humira but are you taking Mexotrexate with that? If so you MUST contact a doctor IMMEDIATELY don't delay!!!.. it can be deadly to your fetus. And if you're taking sulfazine you're going to want to make sure you get plenty of folic acid because that will block your absorbtion.

Active Chrons can raise your risks for miscarriage and premature delivery so you may end up in a high risk category. You may also be advised to have a c-section because Chrons can cause fistulas that could be near the birth canal.

My dad, brother, sister, cousin, aunts, and a few friends have Chrons.. somehow I've not ended up with it *LUCKY!* knowledge is power and reading about your disease will help you be less afraid and be more comfortable. I would contact your GI doc and discuss your pregnancy and possible issues it could bring, in my expirence with my friend her OB didn't have much knowledge on Chrons and she got more support and information from her actual gastroenterologist!

Being a young mother can be tough, I wasn't but I felt like I was! I was 24 when my son was born and though that's not considered young.. my life was NOT ready and I was living more like a 18 year old at the time. You sound like you really have a level head and if you really want to you can make it work. It's hard I won't lie! I managed to get my education done with kids.. it takes longer but totally doable.

I've also worked with many people with Huntington disease and I know how devastating the disease can become. It would be a VERY hard decision to make to abort because they could develop the disease later in life. Does any of your boyfriends family members have symptoms yet?

I'm sorry that such a joyful moment in life carries so much stress for you at this time! Trust your heart Best wishes

[Asusser]

I was reading about relaxin earlier today, and that is a pretty big relief! I am currently only on Humira and I made sure to speak directly with my Gastro to ensure that it is safe before taking my next injection. Unfortunately, the clinic is in Vancouver, which is two hours away from where I live, but I am going to make sure that my OB is in regular contact with my GI throughout my pregnancy.

The decision to abort is not mine, it is because I am taking the choice to test or not away from my child, which kind of sucks but that disease is really terrible. My boyfriends mother had Huntington's, and passed away almost exactly one month after my dad did (that's part of what I meant when I say we have been through a lot!)

Thanks for the input!

[Ksears]

Maybe I am just confused, but what do you mean you are taking the choice to test or not away from you child? I'm just not understanding that, I guess...

I am sorry for your losses, and I will pray for you that everything else works out.

[MaMa2boys]

Maybe I am just confused, but what do you mean you are taking the choice to test or not away from you child? I'm just not understanding that, I guess...

I am sorry for your losses, and I will pray for you that everything else works out.

I don't understand either.. Your boyfriends mother passed away from it but I bet if you had asked her she wouldn't have changed it. She obviously had a good life and had a son and other children(?). Typically Huntingtons doesn't strike until middle age and though it's very devastating mostly EVERYONE I've ever worked with had children, sometimes grand children, been in love and expirenced life.. sometimes more life than most when they know their years have an actual expiration and they wouldn't have changed anything, even an early diagnosis.

It's a VERY hard decision to bring a child in to the world that you KNOW will struggle at some point in their life. No one can put themselves in your shoes until they are truly faced with that decision. I can see both sides of the choice and it makes me sad to even think about what you have to think about.

[nytdreamer80]

Hello.
I am not knowledgeable on Chron's diesease, but I AM with Huntington's. My father has been diagnosed with it and is in the end stages of it now. He lives with me as I am his caregiver. I am currently at risk (Haven't built up the courage to take the test), and I have one son (Who could be at risk also). I am very hopeful there is a cure sometime in the future. Good luck to you and your boyfriend. Having a child is one of the BEST things that have happened to me, but I do know how hard it will be to have a child knowing they are at risk for the disease. I wonder every day about mine. If you EVER need to talk, please know I am here. Not many people know about this disease which is just so so so sad to me. Its a devastating disease with so many different components to it. Good luck to you!!!

[Asusser]

If i have the knowledge of whether my child has Huntington's disease, that takes away my childs right to decide for itself whether or not it wants to know if it has it, because it is so life altering, and many people choose not to know. Having to abort with a positive result is not my decision, or my boyfriends; it is required by those who perform the test. Although I would consider aborting if it was my decision upon finding out the results. It is a devastating disease, that could easily be eliminated in one generation. My boyfriends mom was basically gone by the time he was eight years old, and dead by the time he was twenty one. I am thankful that if this child tests negative, it will have its father around for a good twenty years, before he will start to decline

[kellyowens]

(((HUGS))!!!

Goodness!! where do you live that someone can force you to have an abortion ????? If that were true I would definitely not have the testing done until after the baby was born.

I have a genetic condition also. My babies have a 50% chance of inheriting it. It is considered "incompatible with life" for affected boys. They will either m/c, be stillborn, or die in early infancy. Affected girls have mild-severe symptoms ranging from learning disabilities to life-long incapacitating seizures. It's possible to have the testing done during pg but I've opted out since it's very expensive/invasive (amnio and specific genetic testing) or not very reliable (MRI of the baby's brain...difficult to do). There's nothing that can be done anyway and I would choose to carry the baby for as long as I could.

I've lost two boys in the early 2nd tri (15wks and 19wks)...I didn't opt for the genetic test (it was only done in Germany at the time and it was very expensive) so we'll never know. I've had 7 other early losses also (I have thyroid disease too).

However, in the midst of it all I've also had 8 successful pgs ...so far, none of my daughters exhibit any symptoms of the condition . We could have MRIs done to get a definite answer but my neuro said it's not necessary unless they have seizures (which usually begin in the teen years...my oldest is 16yrs).

All that to say I'm so sorry you're facing this but you do have a choice...don't let someone take that choice from you...let it be your own. Be informed, time is on your side, ...thinking of you for sure!

KUP!

ETA: I was 19yrs when I had my first, 20 when I had my 2nd, and 22 when I had my 3rd...just had my 9th at 35yrs . Not judging you at all! I sure hope you come here often...it's an encouraging, supportive place!!!