When/How to take away security Item?

[HisWifeHerMom]

Katrina has this blanket we've used since birth, Every Feeding,Sleep She had this Blanket. Once School started she wasn't interested in taking to class with her, until her teacher told the class they can bring blankets,bears whatever made them feel comfortable, Now Katrina has to have it everyday, She forgot it this morning and I got a call about her freaking out it was so bad I had to pull her out for the day...I'm worried this will not be the only time.

Should I let her give it up on her own, or help her get over needing it? I know for sure I cant handle getting rid of it like I did Pacifier's (We told her the paci fairy came and said She was now a big girl and didn't need them)

[runningmomofmany]

I never took away blankies. They just out grew the need after awhile. My teens all have theirs in their rooms.

I would probably see if I could get her to take something different for school so you don't have this same situation again. Maybe a pillow or stuffed animal that can be left there so it can't be forgotten?

[GA1977]

Personally, Idon't think I'll ever take away Parker's security item. She's 4 and she takes it to school with her too (in her bag) or she'll leave it in her carseat. However,we once left it at Grammys house (she babysits) and I told her that her animal (security item) was perfectly happy and safe with Grammy. ANd I do the same for school----if she leaves it I tell her that it is happy and safe at home and she'll see it after school.

[HisWifeHerMom]

Hm, That could work, Would it be better If I slept with something for a couple of days to get my scent on it? I believe that's the reason for the blanket It reminds her of me, our breastfeeding time together, Bedtime, etc. I'm so afraid she will be made fun of because of her blanket. DH says it might be good for her to get teased a bit about it, maybe then it wont be too hard on her to not need it all the time.

[HisWifeHerMom]

Personally, Idon't think I'll ever take away Parker's security item. She's 4 and she takes it to school with her too (in her bag) or she'll leave it in her carseat. However,we once left it at Grammys house (she babysits) and I told her that her animal (security item) was perfectly happy and safe with Grammy. ANd I do the same for school----if she leaves it I tell her that it is happy and safe at home and she'll see it after school.

I didn't hand her the blanket when I took it the school, I was worried it would make her more upset seeing me, But she wasn't having it She was done for the day all because of the blanket, Trying to tell her when its in the dryer being cleaned, and its safe, She'll sit in front of the dryer

[MomOfAnOnly]

My DD doesn't have a specific thing she's attached to. She will pick random toys (stuffed animals usually) for the day or even for a particular trip to the store, but she's never really attached to it. That said, if she was attached, I wouldn't take it away. Ever. If it was an issue I would probably set some boundaries as she gets older about where the item can go, where it has to stay, when it can come out, etc., but that's as far as I would go.

[GA1977]

I didn't hand her the blanket when I took it the school, I was worried it would make her more upset seeing me, But she wasn't having it She was done for the day all because of the blanket, Trying to tell her when its in the dryer being cleaned, and its safe, She'll sit in front of the dryer

LOL!! we have to secretly hurry and wash Parker's before she notices he's gone. LOL!

[macksmom]

Can you cut a small piece off and make a bracelet or hair scrunchie out of it? Or just let her keep a piece in her pocket?

[DucksLikeRain]

My 6yo has a blankie. And probably always will. I think it'd be super detrimental to her to take it away.

That said, we've got multiple blankies. It was one big one and has been cut into some small hand-sized ones (like 6-8" squreish) and then she has what she has named "So Big Blankie" which is the largest chunk left. It stays in her bed or else she can have it if she's curled up on the sofa or something. She cannot carry it around. The reason for this is the freakout that has happened too many times at bedtime because it got left in Dad's car and he's still at work, or at Nana's, or is just missing. When she went to school she was allowed to have one of the small blankies in her backpack and her teacher would use it as needed for calming (preschool). Last year for Kindergarten we made an even smaller piece into a bracelet by tying it onto one of those stretchy key holder things (you know, the ones that store clerks will wear up around their bicep for safe keys, etc) and then also we would tie a piece onto her belt loop some days, just so she could find it-but it could not under any circumstances get lost that way. She's now in 1st grade and while still VERY attached to blankie she only insists on it being in her backpack if she's had a rough morning or is just feeling out of whack by wonky schedules.

I wouldn't allow her security blanket to come to school. I would take her to the store to pick a special school blanket. If it doesn't get left there and is supposed to travel to and from with her I'd make that blanket stay in her backpack-it's ONLY a school blanket, not for use at home. I understand how traumatic it can be for a kiddo to not have their security blankie when they expect it and so I would remove the ability to expect it at all at school.

[i.<3.cheesysmiles]

I don't plan on taking away DS1's security blanket, but we've already set up rules. It stays in the house at all times. Most of the time, I do not allow it out of his room. He actually has 2 queen sized blankies.

Is the blanket big enough that you could cut a piece for her to take to school? Is this preschool or kindergarten?

[ljs318]

Yeah, with a blanket that special I would try to get her to take something else that won't get lost or be missed if it is forgotten. DD2 has a Blankie and we try to get her to leave it at home and never bring it out of the car if it has to come with us. It stays in the car so it won't get lost, dirty, etc. Maybe have her pick out something special for her to bring to school and maybe leave there as her comfort for school. Good luck!

[Marcie]

My DD has a stuffed pig as her security item. I don't ever plan to take it away (I love that pig too, lol!). But he doesn't leave the house, unless she has a doctor's appt. And when she has friends over, he stays in her bed. We also have about half a dozen of them that I rotate, wash, etc. I think the idea about cutting a piece off is great. I think we have a book where the character does that....maybe Owen?

[HisWifeHerMom]

Is the blanket big enough that you could cut a piece for her to take to school? Is this preschool or kindergarten?

Kindergarten.

Thanks for some advice and ideas, I'm going to talk to DH and maybe give Katrina a few choices, Either we cut a small piece off, a different blanket for school, Or WE leave blanket at home during the day....I have a feeling this will be a long process before she gets the hang of it and comfortable.

[Jai]

Peyton is the only of my kids to really have a security item. Jayden HAS to have his monkey pillow pet to sleep at night. He will not go to bed without it. Marissa had a teddy bear that she was pretty attached to when she was 3 & 4 and then she gave that bear to Peyton when she was just crawling. That bear is Peytons security item. Now we're at a point where she only needs it to sleep but she used to need it all.the.time. Preschool was hard on her because she couldn't take it to school. We made it a rule that teddy can drive in the car with her to school and then be in the car for her when she gets picked up. We continued that and she did it all through pre-k and prob half of the kdg year. She got used to knowing he just couldn't come to school with her but would be waiting for her when she gets out. We had many nights where we had to run to grandmas or grannies because he was left there. We once lost him at a hotel but luckily someone turned him into the front desk. I would never take him from her, but working with her to realize that he couldn't go to school but would be there for her when she got out helped a lot.

[Ashleen]

Paige was VERY attached to her binky. Even though I knew it wasn't great for her teeth it was her security item and I just couldn't take it away from her. I just don't think I could take a child's security item away, I would feel awful. Miraculously she did give it up on her own a week before her fourth birthday. As far as your daughters situation I agree with the pp about maybe trying to make pieces of it for her. I know that worked for my cousin who was very attached to her blankie until she was around 8 (which she outgrew her blankie without intervention). I think talking to her and giving her choices is a good idea.

[MamaToe88]

Why take away something that makes them secure and comfortable? I don't think you should try to take it away, she will give it up when she's ready. Though you may try offering up a picture of the item instead of the item itself to see if it helps. Either way, if it makes them feel secure and safe in a different environment, there's really nothing wrong with that.

[Joie]

I would never take a lovey away. Trinity and Anastasia both have blankies they are attached to. One day Trinity bled on hers, and grandma came to wash it (grandma lives downstairs). Trinity had to go with her to see it safely into the washer. It got left in the car one day and Daddy went to work. I told her Daddy took it to work, and she was ok. When she goes to school my plan is to have her say goodbye to it and leave it with Anastasia. Baby sister can take care of it for her until she gets home. I hope it works, because I am scared she will misplace it or lose it.

I had a Raggedy Ann doll named Annie I was attached to. She now lives in the cradle my grandpa made, and will always have a place in my home. Annie had to have leg replacement surgery when I was little, and my brother sat outside with me while our mom sewed her. Loveys are serious business to a little kid.

[futuresoccermom]

Ari has her security teddy bear that she's been attached to since she was 1. We have a rule now that her bear doesn't leave the house. We made that rule when he's been mistakenly left different places by accident and it was a complete nightmare trying to track him down. Because this bear is irreplaceable (MIL bought him from a church second hand sale) she can cuddle with him every night until she's in college, but he doesn't leave the home! She is okay with that rule. Once in a while, he can come in the car ride if its a long ride...(of if we go on a trip, he comes, but we are extra careful) but day to day, he doesn't go anywhere...