I've been doing a lot of research on adoption (mainly international) and have some questions. DH and I really like the idea of adopting from Russia though we're still talking some about a domestic adoption as well. We have some concerns about both and I'm wondering if anyone here has any specific experience. With domestic adoption we're concerned about the cost just becoming too much, especially with the possibility of having to pay rent and things like that for the birth mother. From what I've read that seems fairly standard but is it really? Is it that common and is there a concern in a situation like that with being scammed? When I first read that I thought it sounded like a scam anyway. What happens if the birth mother decides to keep the baby once it's born? I'm assuming that money is just gone which seems so wrong to me, but maybe that's just the way it is. Any info on that would be great. Also, it seems that more adoptions these days have some degree of openness. Does that mean if you want to have a closed adoption that it'll just take that much longer? And who decides how open an adoption is? In a way, I think it'd be great to have an open adoption because as the child grows they will no doubt have questions about their birth parents. That way at least it's easier to get info about them for the child when they're ready for that. DH worries about being able to handle a continuing relationship with birth parents which I admit may be difficult.
We've mostly thought about international adoption and I have heard some serious horror stories. We really like China's program because it seems so solid but I'm a few years too young for their program so we're mostly looking into Russia. I've heard a lot of conflicting info about things changing in Russia and about the cost. Some agencies say 20k and some say 50k or higher. Does this just depend on what the agency offers? I see that some offer sight seeing and things like that while you're there and some offer a translator and a coordinator and driver so I assume it just depends on what kind of program they're offering how much it costs. I've heard some scary stories about it still being dangerous to drive from one location to another there and also about the flights within Russia. My mom says they're considered the most dangerous in the world which is scary. Does anyone have any experience with Russian adoption in particular?
I think I'll stop there for now before this gets too overwhelming if it hasn't already. I'm sure a lot of these questions can be answered by agencies but we aren't quite there yet. We decided to commit to another round of fertility drugs but...I'm done honestly and ready to just move on with adoption since we've always wanted to adopt anyway. Also has anyone gotten financial assistance? I know there's a lot out there but I'm wondering if anything offers assistance before you adopt so you aren't in extreme debt which is a huge concern for us. Okay I'm stopping with the questions now. Thanks to anyone who can read this whole thing. Lol.