My DH and I are seriously considering adoption and have a few questions. We've been struggling with infertility for a while now and I'm really reaching my breaking point after a loss and some failed attempts since and also failed response to the treatments. We've decided that if the next few cycles are a no go we are going to pursue adoption full force and have decided to start collecting information since we're interested in adopting anyway. I have some questions I was hoping maybe some of you here could answer. I've been looking a lot online and it seems like there's a lot of information out there but it's a little overwhelming. We live in a very small town and I'm not sure what kind of resources are available to us here. According to what I can find, there aren't many resources at all especially for adopting an infant which we feel would be ideal for our first child since we have no other children. So here are some questions I have:

Is it possible to meet up with an adoption counselor or someone who has a lot of information on the process who can meet with us informally and just discuss the possibilities so that we know if this is really an option for us?

I know that laws and everything vary from state to state so what happens if we decide to go with a national agency which seems like it might be easier when trying to adopt an infant?

Is it best to go with an a licensed agency? I've seen some websites that are marketing firms that work with agencies but they aren't licensed agencies themselves. They seem promising but it's hard to trust anything online.

Does the bulk of the expense with adoption come into the legal fees once adoptions are being finalized? Is it a great expense before you're matched or does that part mostly come after?

And even with going with a national agency or group is adopting an infant or toddler as difficult as everyone makes it sound? We are open to some different races which I've can speed up the process.

I have an illness and am permanently disabled. DH worked full time and I still work part time and financially we're like pretty much everyone else. My illness can be serious but is very manageable and I've been very healthy for about 3 years now. Anyone know if this is a factor?

Sorry if this is too many questions. I'm overwhelmed by all the info online and don't really know where to start. I'm afraid if we just call an agency or something...and I don't think there's one in our area...that we'll be expected to be ready right away and we want to make sure that the process is something we can do first. Thanks in advance for any info at all.