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Thread: Were your spouses as into fostering/adoption as you were?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    5,399

    Default Were your spouses as into fostering/adoption as you were?

    Were you both equally gung-ho when you started and went through the process?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    1,004

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    My DH was convinced about 3 yrs before I was that adoption was the path we should take. I kept stubbornly thinking that we would be able to conceive our own if only we would do one more test or one more medication. I know some DH's are not as into adoption and I believe that is a normal feeling across the board, but it took me longer than him to get there. I hope that if adoption is what you have decided, that your DH is on board or gets on board ASAP. Good luck!
    Britney (me), DH (Mat), DD (Lily), DD (Gwyn)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2007
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    13,184

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    No. He wants a kid at least some of the time (idea of a kid scares him). Enough that we started trying over 5 years ago and he was more than willing to do testing. He wants the kid to be either both ours biologically or neither ours biologically. he is more than fine with the idea of adoption....not as into the idea of open adoption. But really he's gone along with things to make me happy....this is not something that he would be doing on his own or wanting to do if I didn't.
    On the other hand, he was willing enough to use 5 PTO days for the classes and go through the whole home study process....and pay for it (and he's tight with money). I did tell him that I would give the idea of he didn't want to and we went back and forth for a while. But we are doing it.

    I am pretty sure that he wouldn't handle foster. Both my cousins were adopted from foster care and it was HARD watching my aunts worry for two years that this baby they loved would be taken away from them. Turned out well but not something Dh is willing to do....he would draw the line there.

    Jennifer, 34, DH 36

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    4,331

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    My DH was just as committed as I was about adopting but not as *into* it but that's how it is with my pgs and the newborn phase with my bkids too .
    Dh (38) Me (36) 8bio 1adopted, 10 angels





  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    On the Bayou
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    Yes, 200%! He's not into open adoption if we were to have an infant which I'm mostly ok with now.
    Adoption was always the plan but so far just isn't meant to be.
    After our last rodeo he's not into actively pursuing adoption but we'll do short term foster care in the future, when these kids are in school.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    588

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    Nate told me when we were talking about getting married that we were going to adopt at one point in time (after we were done having bio kids). When we learned that having children biologically without doing IVF, no conversation was needed on what the next step would be. I was into getting things done more than he was, but when it came down to it and the education part of the process, he was way into it!
    Alicia (26) Nate(26) 6/7/08 TTC since 5/2009 M/C 12/09 Stage 4 Endo Dx 10/10 Lap & Hysteroscope 11/10 Lupron injections 12/10-2/11 year infertility tx no luck...On to adoption to grow our family!!! 5/25 R joined our family @3months old!!

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