Give me some quick advice please re: party attendance!

[ktacserv]

We are supposed to be going to a BBQ in a couple of hours.

Just got a message from the host that their AC died and they are moving the party to another family members house. We know this family member and usually opt not to go to parties at their house for the following reasons -

1. They have an in ground pool with no fence, they let their dogs into this pool, and there are often a lot of kids rough housing in and out of the pool. My kids will definitely want to get in the pool and will spend the whole time we are there whining because we won't let them. We won't let them because they are too little to go in by themselves and we do not want to get in - due to the items mentioned above.

2. My kids are scared of the dogs. The dogs are very rambunctious, jump at you, nip at you, etc. I spent the whole time last time we were there trying to play referee between my kids and the dogs.

3. I noticed on FB yesterday that the host posted that one of her kids is sick. Dont know with what, but I am kind of a germaphobe as it is and dont really like bringing my kids around other kids that I know are sick. I was willing to do it anyway (figured they would have enough common sense to cancel if it was something really bad) and overlook this fact but the other items above are making it too much for me.

We RSVPed yes weeks ago when the party was NOT at this family members house. Now I am tempted to make an excuse to cancel on them 2 hours before - but I know that is rude and I feel horribly guilty.

Should we suck it up and go or what? WWYD?

[Suja]

I'd cancel. Ill behaved dogs and young kids is a recipe for disaster.

[JJorn]

I would also cancel.

[macksmom]

Cancel!

[tyvek]

I would go but make it as short as possible. Of course I would complain to DH all the way there and back! LOL

[anonsouthernbell]

Go w ur gut and cancel.

[Bridget]

I'd cancel, no question.

[3andMe]

I would go but make it as short as possible. Of course I would complain to DH all the way there and back! LOL

Haha!

Is there any way that any part of the party would be inside? Otherwise, I would cancel.

[GA1977]

I'd cancel.

[V]

Depends on how much I care about the original host's feelings. If I did, I would probably also just drop in for quick visit and make my excuses asap - and explain to kids about the pool beforehand, with a back-up treat to appease them when you leave early without swimming?! I'd feel horribly guilty too, but the stress it would cause me (the germy pool was enough to put me off) would certainly make me think twice about whether I really really cared enough to go.

Hope you find a decision you are comfortable with. Good luck!

Edit - Just noted your children's ages...hard to explain to them beforehand about swimming..perhaps try to focus their attention on the treat, activity you doing after the BBQ when they get whinney about the pool?! Again, good luck lol

[hotpinkmomma0811]

I would feel bad for not going but, I do not like dogs especially annoying dogs like you stated and if there are sick kids cancel.

[iMom]

I always try to go with... Never feel bad about things you really don't want to do. This obviously will not make your family happy to be there, and that is the point of get togethers. The circumstances changed. You made your decision based on a completely different location. It's ok to cancel.

[ktacserv]

Well, thought I would update! I ended up trying to compromise with my conscience. I hate when I do that and kick myself for not going with my gut. DH didn't help much by giving me a big guilt trip.

I called and told them some things came up and that we were running super late. By the time we got there the food was done and everyone was done with the pool...thumbs up. But then I see the host looking a little green, and she tells me they have all been passing around a stomach virus....thumbs DOWN.

Seriously....WTF people!

We stayed for about 30 mins, I doused my kids in hand sanitizer the whole time hovering.over them.to make sure they don't touch anything, and got out pf there.

Now I will have anxiety attacks for days thinking we are going to get sick. (I have a phobia of vomiting).

Soooo mad at myself for going. I mentioned that I took note of the FB status posted two days ago by the host. I am trying to work thru my.phobia, and part of that is not panicking when you see mention of illness and not to pry incessantly for details, so I was strong and did not comment on it or follow up to find out what they had. (The thinking is that you shouldn't freak over evertthingand assume its contagious, and that you will catch it)

I thought I was being strong by choosing to rely on someones common sense! So much for that.

Lesson learned - DH and conscience be d@mned, if I think we shouldn't go, we aren't going!

[JJorn]

I am glad that you were only there for 30 minutes (especially after the food/pool). I'm not sure why anyone would offer to host when they're currently ill or have been ill in the last 24 hours.

[lindsay1981]

I think that because the food was done and you didn't eat any, and also that you were outside, you are probably in the clear for getting sick. I imagine it is much better to be outside rather than cooped up in a house where all the germs are running rampid. Fingers crossed you all dodged the sickness.

[Bridget]

I can't believe they were passing around a stomach virus and having a party. That's crazy.

[3andMe]

How incredibly irresponsible of them, and potentially dangerous. I can see how when kids get all worked up to have a party, you just don't want to cancel or reschedule, but obviously this one was just not meant to be.

[tanyachap]

Well, thought I would update! I ended up trying to compromise with my conscience. I hate when I do that and kick myself for not going with my gut. DH didn't help much by giving me a big guilt trip.

I called and told them some things came up and that we were running super late. By the time we got there the food was done and everyone was done with the pool...thumbs up. But then I see the host looking a little green, and she tells me they have all been passing around a stomach virus....thumbs DOWN.

Seriously....WTF people!

We stayed for about 30 mins, I doused my kids in hand sanitizer the whole time hovering.over them.to make sure they don't touch anything, and got out pf there.

Now I will have anxiety attacks for days thinking we are going to get sick. (I have a phobia of vomiting).

Soooo mad at myself for going. I mentioned that I took note of the FB status posted two days ago by the host. I am trying to work thru my.phobia, and part of that is not panicking when you see mention of illness and not to pry incessantly for details, so I was strong and did not comment on it or follow up to find out what they had. (The thinking is that you shouldn't freak over evertthingand assume its contagious, and that you will catch it)

I thought I was being strong by choosing to rely on someones common sense! So much for that.

Lesson learned - DH and conscience be d@mned, if I think we shouldn't go, we aren't going!

How incredibly dumb!!!! But I stopped expecting common sense from people the day I saw a mom of 3 at Walmart who had two of her children in the cart, on a blanket with 2 large bowls to throw up in since they had "some sort of stomach bug, you know" while she had to purchase soda and cosmetics. That was the day I concluded that for purposes I must assume people are dumb and irresponsible in deciding whether or not I should attend an activity or go somewhere.

[Volura]

Wow, how disgusting to host a party (with food no less) with a stomach bug.

[Volura]

Omg at the Walmart comment! Gross.

[Ashleen]

Well, thought I would update! I ended up trying to compromise with my conscience. I hate when I do that and kick myself for not going with my gut. DH didn't help much by giving me a big guilt trip.

I called and told them some things came up and that we were running super late. By the time we got there the food was done and everyone was done with the pool...thumbs up. But then I see the host looking a little green, and she tells me they have all been passing around a stomach virus....thumbs DOWN.

Seriously....WTF people!

We stayed for about 30 mins, I doused my kids in hand sanitizer the whole time hovering.over them.to make sure they don't touch anything, and got out pf there.

Now I will have anxiety attacks for days thinking we are going to get sick. (I have a phobia of vomiting).

Soooo mad at myself for going. I mentioned that I took note of the FB status posted two days ago by the host. I am trying to work thru my.phobia, and part of that is not panicking when you see mention of illness and not to pry incessantly for details, so I was strong and did not comment on it or follow up to find out what they had. (The thinking is that you shouldn't freak over evertthingand assume its contagious, and that you will catch it)

I thought I was being strong by choosing to rely on someones common sense! So much for that.

Lesson learned - DH and conscience be d@mned, if I think we shouldn't go, we aren't going!

Wow that's crazy they still had a party with those kind of germs. I have a horribly bad phobia of vomiting as well and would seriously be freaking. out. Sorry you have to go through that now! Sounds like you were on top of the germs though.

[ktacserv]

Another update -

Both my kids up all night throwing up and diarrhea. This is my worst nightmare. Seriously about to become unhinged. I would do anything to go back in time and never step foot in the party.

I am a wreck. DH is mad at me for not helping much with the kids, but I just can't. I feel like a horrible mother and wife.

[macksmom]

Another update -

Both my kids up all night throwing up and diarrhea. This is my worst nightmare. Seriously about to become unhinged. I would do anything to go back in time and never step foot in the party.

I am a wreck. DH is mad at me for not helping much with the kids, but I just can't. I feel like a horrible mother and wife.

omg I am so sorry

I hope everyone gets better really quickly.

[Volura]

Sorry Momma, thats not fun at all. Stupid people

[Ashleen]

Another update -

Both my kids up all night throwing up and diarrhea. This is my worst nightmare. Seriously about to become unhinged. I would do anything to go back in time and never step foot in the party.

I am a wreck. DH is mad at me for not helping much with the kids, but I just can't. I feel like a horrible mother and wife.

That really sucks ... I am so sorry. I just went through this myself a couple weeks ago and it was soo soo horrible. I am still mentally getting over the whole thing and honestly it is going to take a while. My dh was the same way with getting mad at me, he doesn't grasp just how huge a deal it for me and thinks I am being totally ridiculous. Just to let you know, both my kids got it and I was very on top of germs and washed my hands every time I touched anything and did not touch my face. I did not get it, I hope you don't either.

[tanyachap]

So sorry

[ktacserv]

Thanks ladies.

DH isn't talking to me. He's p!ssed.

Natalie seems ok now but Jacob is still throwing up, 18 hours and counting now. I am scared that I will have to take him to the ER. We have gotten SV before and its never been more than 4 hours or so of throwing up for either kid.

I have not eaten anything since lunch yesterday. I started feeling queasy and have been taking sleeping pills to fight the nausea (an old trick prescribed by my OB when I was PG and had terrible morning sickness) so I have spent most of the last 18 hours unconscious which makes DH even more angry.

I will grow up and tale Jacob to the ER if necessary to give DH a break.

Not hoe I envisioned spending my long weekend!

[TripMomma]

I would cancel.

[TripMomma]

Thanks ladies.

DH isn't talking to me. He's p!ssed.

Natalie seems ok now but Jacob is still throwing up, 18 hours and counting now. I am scared that I will have to take him to the ER. We have gotten SV before and its never been more than 4 hours or so of throwing up for either kid.

I have not eaten anything since lunch yesterday. I started feeling queasy and have been taking sleeping pills to fight the nausea (an old trick prescribed by my OB when I was PG and had terrible morning sickness) so I have spent most of the last 18 hours unconscious which makes DH even more angry.

I will grow up and tale Jacob to the ER if necessary to give DH a break.

Not hoe I envisioned spending my long weekend!

Ugh...I am so sorry. I would be sooo PO'd at everyone involved.

[Bridget]

So sorry to read this update!