Oh, Boy. Could Use Some Advice on This One!

[AmeriBrit]

Today when I picked T up from school (he goes to pre-school 2.5 days per week and just turned 4), the teacher asked to have a word with me before we left. She told me that T and another little boy had been found out in the field showing the other kids their 'bits' as they walked past. I found out pretty quickly from the other parent that it was his friend S that we see out of school a lot. T and S go to my SIL's house to play with my nephews who are 4 and 3 as well and last time we let them all play together, they did end up all running around naked and trying each other's clothes on. I never thought it was a big deal, but now I'm thinking I should probably tell T that he can't take his clothes off anywhere but home. We don't make a big deal about being naked at home; we don't walk around naked or anything, but we're not prudish either.

How would you handle the conversation of telling T that he shouldn't be flashing his bits to onlookers? I tried today to tell him that his 'private' area is only for him to see, but he just kept laughing and saying, 'but it's funny, mummy; I like to show them off.' Oh, the joys of having boys! Someone please help me! (I feel like the teacher is going to think T is a right little perv because at the beginning of the school year, she pulled me aside to tell me that he'd had his hands down his pants the whole day, so I had a big conversation with him about only doing that kind of thing in his own room when no one else is around). Sigh.

[froggie83]

i would tell him that thats something that needs to only be done at home. keeping it simple. and tell him that you don't see other people doing it because they do it in the privacy of their own homes.

[Suja]

I think you need to reinforce to him that some things are private, and that's why we don't walk around flashing ourselves. I've been having this conversation with Mira as well. She knows that her body stays covered up, unless we're home (which doesn't keep her from pulling down her shorts and underwear to adjust herself, however). It's also a message she is actively taught in school.

[Smplyme89]

Oy is this what I have to look forward too Fantastic!!

I agree, just keep talking about how his 'bits' are private. I think it is perfectly normal for a kid his age to think it is amusing. What am I talking about? My grown husband thinks his 'bits' are hilarious

[demigraf]

Perhaps you could tell him that we keep our private nether-parts to ourselves because we do private things with them, namely #1 & #2. At least, that way, it fits in with why people want to be alone when they're in the WC, and why he should never barge in on mummy when the door is closed. Kill two birds with one stone, putting it that way.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'll be having this conversation w/ B shortly, so thanks for the advance opportunity to think about this one. Keep us posted on how it all plays out. I'd be curious to hear what his teacher said to him about it, if she said anything at all.

[tanyachap]

This thread made me laugh. Sorry. Like PP, I would reinforce that this is private and we don't show it or touch it in public. I don't think it is a huge deal though. Men are obsessed with their bits from birth. Both my boys feel the need to often inform me that their "bits" are hard, that they have big "bits" or something to that effect. One day we went to the San Diego zoo and there was a male zebra with erected "bits" and there were a bunch of little boys saying "wow". DS1 immediately noticed the "attraction" and loudly exclaimed "that's a huge "...." mama. look!!!" DS2 "big big "..."!!!" So I think tis what tis. To me, that falls in the category "boys will be boys". Having said that, I would have felt a little uncomfortable since there are a lot of judgmental parents out there. But that does not really mean that it is abnormal KWIM?

But to answer your question, I would reinforce what behavior is appropriate in public. At some point it will sink in (hopefully ).

[hotpinkmomma0811]

Tell him those are private parts and he doesn't need to show them to anyone.

[AmeriBrit]

Both DH and I had a talk with him about those parts of the body being private and should never be on show at school, so we'll see how it goes. I have a conference with his teacher tonight any how (for end of the year stuff), so I'll ask her what exactly got said to him. I just don't want him to turn in to the weird kid at school who likes to make people laugh by flashing people. I also told him that if anyone at school suggested that he get those parts out that he should tell them no, he is not allowed to do that. (Because he said he did it because another boy had suggested it). Ah, it's a good thing I don't embarrass easily.