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Thread: Openness

  1. #1
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    Oct 2007
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    Default Openness

    Ok so I know that open adoptions can be amazing...I've read the information, heard people talk about it and although I've never experienced an actual open adoption I've been part of the process of an open adoption. In March we met who we thought was going to be our baby boys birthmother, we sat across the table from her and her mom and told her all about our lives and our families...personal information that you don't just tell any stranger. Once he was born she changed her mind so we'd never see her again right? Wrong. On Saturday one of my worst fears came true. While looking for a place to sit at the food court in the mall I turned and there she was...with him. I honestly thought my feet had gotten stuck in concrete...I couldn't move. I just stood there holding Josy and a plate of pizza...we just stood there and stared at each other. I know that there's the possibility I'll run into them again but I never want to. She looked pretty rough but he looked ok...I hope he's ok.

    Just had to vent.
    Jess

  2. #2
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    Default



  3. #3
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    I dress myself!

  4. #4
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    Big Jess.

    There is a part of us that kind of hopes that we end up with a safe haven baby instead of having to deal with openness. I know it works out so much....but also know that it doesn't and can be really hard.
    We are staying in state too....and definitely prefer to have a match that is not in our town. That kind of situation would be hard....especially in smaller towns.

    Jennifer, 34, DH 36

  5. #5
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    Dec 2008
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    Big, big hugs mama!

    We never met either biological parent for Max and Kacey, but when we were first visiting them in foster care we knew that they lived in the same town. I was literally watching every face in the crowd every where we went praying that we wouldn't run into them. We had a bit of a scare when we went to Walmart on one of our first days together and as we were walking to the car I heard a woman call Max's name. He started to run over to the woman and I pulled him back and said we would all walk over together. My adrenaline was pumping until I found out that she was the PTA president at his school and she was so supportive of our placement. She ended up being a huge help in getting proper paperwork together, but I will never forget that splits second of shear fear that we were going to run into his biological mother.

    Thoughts and prayers are with you!
    Alyssa
    Twin girls 5/24/09 Baby bean 3/3/11
    Adoption Finalized 8/31/12 - Proud mama to Max and Kacey

  6. #6
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    Nolan is going to be a Big Brother My Blog

  7. #7
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    ...oh Jess...I am so sorry...my heart just stopped as I read this !! Thinking of you (((HUGS)))!
    Dh (38) Me (36) 8bio 1adopted, 10 angels





  8. #8
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  9. #9
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    I'm sorry, that must have been so hard for you.
    My chalk loving 2 1/2 y.o. boys!

  10. #10
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    Oh, Jess. I am so, so sorry.


  11. #11
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    So sorry -

  12. #12
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    Jess, my heart aches for you. I'm so sorry you had to face that and I hope that it doesn't happen again, but take comfort in knowing that if it does, you are strong enough to take it because you made it through this time. Prayers are being sent your way, take care.

  13. #13
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    Thanks...I was just needing to vent. You're all so sweet...I appreciate your thoughts and prayers. Definately not easy to get past something like this when it ends up staring you in the face when you least expect it. At least I know now how strong I am.

    Jess

  14. #14
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    It's the biggest reason why we left the region where we would knowingly run into our former kids. I left the state for almost two months after they went home. It's hard. The first time I stumbled across one of their pictures after they left I destroyed a bunch of dishes & that was months later.
    I don't think I would've handled your run-in nearly as well.
    Julie, DH: W, DS: Mason 6/6/09, GGB Trips 6/4/12 FFS "Baby C" with us 4/23 - 5/26 Sibs Q,Z,J & K 9/10 - 3/11

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