If you planned a pain-med free birth....

[macksmom]

Did you start to waver as it got closer?

I have been having contractions for weeks (nothing consistent - although today was one/hour but I think that stopped). My sciatic nerve acts up like every other day. (tmi) I have hemmies that could probably be in a book of world records. They are SO painful and nothing I do helps (I even have a prescription cream). I feel like I am constantly in pain. If someone offered I would probably say yes to an epidural right now!

I just want some relief. I can't imagine labor on top of all this pain. I know I am not alone. I know everything hurts towards the end.....

So I am sure others have felt the same way. How did you not cave and just finally give in?! How do you silence that little voice in your head that says, "just do it"?

[AmeriBrit]

I planned a med-free vbac at the hospital but ended up with an epidural the last 4 hours of labor because I caved to the pain and was just soooo tired. (But I did get my vbac).

[AbbeysMom]

I'm right there with you, but I keep reminding myself that Ill be trying to go med-free because in the end, it will likely mean *less* pain. An epidural stalled my labor with Abbey and not feeling anything during pushing meant tearing really badly (not to mention very narrowly avoiding a c-section because of the extended labor time). I'm pretty sure if I can feel what's happening there will be less chance of a c-section (shorter recovery/less pain after) and less chance of tearing (also shorter recovery/less pain after).

My plan right now is to try to focus on the pain being temporary (both because it's in intervals and ending after birth) and get my DH to massage my back or legs so I can try and focus on that feeling as much as possible, before the pain becomes unavoidable. In the end, I'm not going to rule out pain meds but I think panic/anxiety will cause me to want them at first, more than actual pain, so I have a plan to ask for something to calm me down before asking for an epidural.

[i.<3.cheesysmiles]

no i did not cave in. i am pretty stubborn ;) with ds1, i didnt understand why women choose epi's. with ds2, i got it but by the time it was bad, it was almost the end anyway

[tanyachap]

I had home birth and no choice if i were in hossy i would have very likely gotten epi. I was also in a lot of pain in the end, sleep deprived and just exhausted. One of the main reason i stopped at two as i cannot imagine doing it again. Good luck.

[moosh34]

My sister wanted to come to the birth, but I was worried I'd fail so I didn't have her come. I never wavered in my desire, but I was just unsure how it would all play out. I had a week of on and off labor and one episode where I thought it was the real thing. Luckily I learned from my first birth experience that the most important thing I could do was to be calm and rest until that just wasn't a possibility. I knew that if I let myself get tired and stressed that I'd probably fail (because that's what happened with my first birth.) I know things are going to be uncomfortable at the end and that you have other kids to worry about. My advice is that when you are starting to feel the pain and worry you find a way to relax and calm yourself and get some extra rest. That will help you to get a fresh new look on things until the next time it becomes overwhelming.

[heatherk]

that little voice in my head that said you CAN do this was just much louder.

[macksmom]

I'm right there with you, but I keep reminding myself that Ill be trying to go med-free because in the end, it will likely mean *less* pain. An epidural stalled my labor with Abbey and not feeling anything during pushing meant tearing really badly (not to mention very narrowly avoiding a c-section because of the extended labor time). I'm pretty sure if I can feel what's happening there will be less chance of a c-section (shorter recovery/less pain after) and less chance of tearing (also shorter recovery/less pain after).

My plan right now is to try to focus on the pain being temporary (both because it's in intervals and ending after birth) and get my DH to massage my back or legs so I can try and focus on that feeling as much as possible, before the pain becomes unavoidable. In the end, I'm not going to rule out pain meds but I think panic/anxiety will cause me to want them at first, more than actual pain, so I have a plan to ask for something to calm me down before asking for an epidural.

This is exactly what I keep trying to tell myself. That while I am in pain now, I have been for weeks and can do it for one more day if it means it will be OVER in a day or 2 rather than another week or 2 of pain. With DD1 I was in agony for 2 weeks from an episiotomy. With DD2 I recovered fairly quickly (compared to DD1) but I would love to feel better even sooner.

that little voice in my head that said you CAN do this was just much louder.

Mine isn't I think I am just having a down day. It's been over 90 degrees for 3 days and I am really uncomfortable. When I am having a good day I think I can do it Today I just can't even imagine it And I don't trust that DH will be my voice of reason. I fear he will not want me to be in pain so he will go along if I say I want it. I told him the other day "don't let me get it if I start saying I want it" and he said, "you always find a way to get what you want" Kind of true And scary! Although what I need to WANT is to do this successfully. THAT has to be what I find a way to get......

[Bridget]

I am stubborn too and all the, "yeah rights" got me motivated.

[puppy wuv]

I guess once I hit a certain point I didn't think about getting an epidural. I screamed out things like "I don't wanna do this anymore!" or "Just cut him out of me!" or another "just grab his head please and pull!" I got pretty desperate in the end but I never really MEANT those things as in, I wanted to be done for sure, but because I was tired, it hurt, and I just wanted to see him so badly. It's not like I actually wanted her to cut him out of me or anything like that haha. I have to say that my recovery was MUCH better than with DS1!! So I think it is well worth it! With DS1 I had no hemmies before hand but ended up with 3 that were ENORMOUS! But with DS2 I started out with one and didn't get anymore or make the one I had any worse since I could feel the way I was supposed to push instead of guessing and pushing my guts out...literally... What really helped me was having a nice hot pack on my lower back through the whole thing. I had lots of back labor with both of them since they were both rotated in the wrong direction

[MomOfAnOnly]

You know- I never did waver. I knew what I wanted, had everything planned out (at-home waterbirth with my midwife), and I never even entertained the possibility that it could go any other way. Which is why I was so devastated when I ended up with pre-e and had to go to the hospital to be induced and had just about every intervention that goes along with that during the 3+days it took to get her out.
Having the experience I did, I would still never waver if we chose to have another baby---- I DO NOT ever want to give birth in a hospital under those circumstances again. It would be a homebirth all the way. But as I discovered there are no guarantees, and that's one of the few reasons we only have 1 child and will not be having more- I simply won't risk the same scenario playing out again. I can't do it.
Anyway- I know that's not exactly what you were asking, but that's my answer to "Did you ever waver?"

[Linzo]

I didn't cave because I was dead set on not using medications and I'm pretty darn stubborn.. Also, the thought of a needle in my back and having a loss of control over my body made me incredibly nervous. For me, numbness/lack of control of my own body gives me bad anxiety and I prefer to be in control of my surroundings. I was horrified that I would have a terrible reaction and something would happen, so I think fear is what kept my from not getting the epidural. The nurse pushed and pushed when she saw me in pain, but I kept telling her NO! At one point I was crying, convinced I couldn't push this baby out- but my mom told me I was already like 12 hours in and was doing amazing- and that's what I needed.. just some support. It was a proud moment for me- not saying someone who gets an epidural shouldn't be proud- but it was the strongest I'd ever seen my self so it was an amazing experience. I can't wait to do it again! This time, I'll have an amazing coach next to me though instead of my ex who was eating Burger King and complaining the whole time!

[Windy]

The first time, at the hospital, it was by far easier to give up and give in and get drugs (even that was only because i didn't expect it to be so long and drawn out - demerol and reglan). The second time, at home, there was no other option, and by the time it was really bad, she was coming out

[raspberry]

I never did waver and want pain meds. But I gave birth at a birthing center with a midwife, so pain meds were not an option. I believe the hypnobirthing help me focus on each ctx and know that each surge was bringing my baby closer to me. That was my mantra, I am so close to seeing my baby...

[ibisgirldc]

My sister planned one for her first birth and did hypnobirthing. No wavering going into it. In the end, due in large part to how her labor occured, she chose a different path. (For her second child, she chose the pain relief from the outset.)

[LaurainFL]

Someone told me before I had my first that "When you get to the point in labor when you can't take it anymore, you're almost done." Sounds really simple, but it helped me a lot during the intense part of labor. You can do it!

[caligirl07]

I choose pain meds the first time and myself and baby both had horrible reactions that the chance of that happening again is not an option for me.... So I never gave in the 2nd time, and I know there are plenty of positive epi stories I just didn't have one. Also now going into it the 3rd time the recovery was so much faster without meds that I think that will be my motivation!

[anonsouthernbell]

Try to read some uplifting birth stories...have dh practice some relaxation techniques w/you now. I am nervous going into it again w/this birth tbh. I had a pain free birth w/M and it isn't an option this time around at all since I am having a home birth, but yet I am still nervous. I am trying to equip dh ahead of time by telling him what I think I will want/need - positive mantras, bible quotes, etc. Have you tried potato slices for your hemmies?

[MaryJane]

I admit I tried to cave. I only had one unmedicated birth just because I didn't know anything going into my first birth and it was so easy with the epidural I just did it that way with my 2nd. I found out with my 3rd that I asked for the epidural during transition and she was born 20 minutes after I got the epidural. I was mad because if I'd known I was so close I wouldn't have asked for it. With my 4th, I got an epidural because I was in early labor forever, and I was exhausted. I regretted it immensely because of some complications and a sick baby. My 5th I decided to go unmedicated. The midwife wasn't nice to me and I was tied to the bed. When the contractions finally started hurting I told dh I had changed my mind and he paged the nurse. She picked up the phone to dial the anesthesiologist and I told her nevermind, I had to push and Kyan was born 10 minutes later. Then I learned about doulas and moving around and laboring upright and was very excited to be more in control for my next two births, but due to malpositioned twins and complications my last 2 births were c-sections. As a doula, most of my clients plan to go unmedicated. Usually, women begin to doubt themselves at transition, but I've only had one client who decided to have an epidural. She was a first time mom and she had one of the quickest, and strongest labors I've seen. She went from not even feeling a contraction to having them on top of each other and throwing up and having diarrhea all at once. She was miserable. I told her she was going through transition but she was overwhelmed with the intensity of everything. After her epidural she was complete and ready to push. I've never seen any other labor happen like that. I think having the right support and knowing different methods of coping with the intensity is key. It really is important to have someone there who can recognize what's happening and help you focus. I really regret not having all my births unmedicated especially since my unmedicated birth wasn't any more painful than my medicated births except for the pushing and it was over quickly.

[Ashleen]

With Jude I really tried not to think about the labor pain in the weeks leading up to it. During labor I did great for most of it but did waver a bit at the end. But even during all that pain I still new what I really wanted. I admit I did ask about it, I said to the midwife, "pain medication would just slow it down at this point right?" ... I knew the answer but somehow talking about the fact that I was thinking about it really helped me move past it.

[macksmom]

Try to read some uplifting birth stories...have dh practice some relaxation techniques w/you now. I am nervous going into it again w/this birth tbh. I had a pain free birth w/M and it isn't an option this time around at all since I am having a home birth, but yet I am still nervous. I am trying to equip dh ahead of time by telling him what I think I will want/need - positive mantras, bible quotes, etc. Have you tried potato slices for your hemmies?

Potato slices? I will look into it! I will seriously do anything. I am terrified to go into labor with these things. I can't imagine how much worse they can get. During my last labor I totally felt it in my @ss and it was awful! That is finally the reason I wanted to get the epi with that labor because of the intense butt pain

I should add that I am most likely being induced so that is the main reason I am worried. If I knew I would go into labor on my own I would be more stubborn. But I am afraid the pitocin will make the contractions too unbearable (kind of like last time).

Also it doesn't help that I have had 2 beautiful epi experiences. They worked really well and I had no ill effects from them except that I think it caused my labor to stall with DD2. I also got staydol with DD2 and hated it so I wouldn't bother with that again so it's epi or nothing.

What is also not helping is that we haven't taken any classes but we have read a Bradley book. We have not practiced the techniques though and that makes me sad DH is off work for the next 2 weeks so maybe we can squeeze a few practices in now

[haydensmom]

Even after having one intervention free birth, I still wavered a little. I had an epi with Hayden and couldn't feel a thing, made for a very difficult time pushing, etc. So that was pure motivation. I also had an easier recovery with Ava.

[wrennbird]

Even after having one intervention free birth, I still wavered a little. I had an epi with Hayden and couldn't feel a thing, made for a very difficult time pushing, etc. So that was pure motivation. I also had an easier recovery with Ava.

This was me too. With my first, I couldn't feel AT ALL where to push, while I was pain free for a bit it wasn't helping to get baby out. I remember telling them to just cut it off! With my second I did go back and forth quite a bit but had a great nurse. I was able to stay in the shower and she checked me frequently. I didn't need much convincing, just a reminder of how much I had dialated and how soon it would be.

[macksmom]

I couldn't feel either while pushing and I pushed for at least 2 hours with both. I also ended up with episiotomies for both as well and I think it had to do with that. I want to avoid that this time which is one of the main reasons I want to be med-free.

I also ended up with HUGE hemmies with DD2 and I think it was related to what someone said above - pushing so hard at the wrong times.

I am pretty sure the epidural stalled my labor with DD2 which made me need pitocin so I'd like to avoid that....however, DD1 was sunny side up and the back labor was absolutely horrific. I think the epi caused me to finally relax and helped me to progress. So I really don't have such terrible experiences to hold me back from caving. It's just a personal desire and wanting to recover quickly and a few things I'd like to avoid.

[misfit]

I think its normal to waver. I told DH the other day that part of me wants to just be lazy and give birth in a hospital with drugs, but I wont give up my homebirth to do so. He is supportive of my choice either way though he loves the free hospital food.

[jazzmom]

With Ali (dd2) I planned to *try* to go w/o meds, and I ended up not wavering at all because the contractions never really were that bad. Until the end, that is, when it would have been too late, anyway. I don't think this is all hindsight, either, because at the time I remember thinking, I can talk, I can walk, and I'm not in that much pain. Maybe I'm really not in labor! I ended up with a much better experience than when Madison was born, where I had the epi. I remember feeling a lot of pain with M's contractions, though, so clearly I just had an easier time the second time around, for whatever reason. I can totally see waivering if you are feeling pain!!

[puppy wuv]

Someone told me before I had my first that "When you get to the point in labor when you can't take it anymore, you're almost done." Sounds really simple, but it helped me a lot during the intense part of labor. You can do it!

My midwife told me this when I was in labor with DS2 and it helped so much! Once I got to that point and started to shout out about how I didn't want to do it anymore, in the back of my head a little voice was telling me "you're almost done! Just a little bit more!" It was right too! A little bit later he was in my arms

[macksmom]

My midwife told me this when I was in labor with DS2 and it helped so much! Once I got to that point and started to shout out about how I didn't want to do it anymore, in the back of my head a little voice was telling me "you're almost done! Just a little bit more!" It was right too! A little bit later he was in my arms

I think this happened with DD2 - I asked for the epi finally and it took a while for them to insert it. They checked me right after and I was 10cm I was like "great why did I bother" and then as I mentioned labor stalled because I couldn't feel a thing to push.....

I will definitely be keeping this idea in mind!!!

[Jenny0802]

Watching a utube video of the administration of an epidural did it for me. After I saw that hollow needle I KNEW I could never get it willingly. Makes me shudder just to think about it. Labor pains are preferable to that, in my opinion!

[Woogelaide]

Yup.
I wanted a med-free birth with both kids. With Eamonn, I went 20 hours and then couldn't take it any more. Got the Epi followed shortly after by a c-section.
With Adelaide, as soon as the contractions started (pitocin contractions) I asked for the epi. I was only a few days out from having spent time in the hospital for the flu, so I was really weak and didn't want the awful contractions to soak up the strength I needed to push.