Did you decide how far apart to have your kids, or did you just go for it? (Sorry for the long post and the silly poll. I'm sure I left lots of potential answers off the poll - no offense intended!)
I've had a rough start to motherhood: tough pregnancy, terrible postpartum depression, crazy physical problems, no family support except for DH, and - most of all - complete feelings of inadequacy at being a Mom (I came from a terrible Mom who had no nurturing bone in her body, so I worried my whole life I'd be no good at it.).
Thankfully, most of that is behind me now and I LOVE being a Mom. My little boy has become the greatest love of my life and his smile and laugh makes my world go round! I often think about when it might be wise to have another little one but am afraid of the next time being just as rough as the first. Every time I ask experienced Moms about their 2nd or 3rd (or 6th) times, they often tell me that each time is JUST AS HARD AS THE FIRST, at least for a while. ACK!
I'd like to think my first time was so hard simply because I had some extra psychological baggage on board, but I also don't want to fool myself. My biggest fear is that I'll be such a wreck for those first 4-6 months, that I won't be able to care for my DS! That said, in spite of everything, I still think I want to have another baby (or more) because I want my son to have siblings and know what those relationships are like, and I want our wonderful little family to grow bigger. Perhaps the next time, I can take the medicines to stop the morning sickness earlier, and I can take the PPD medicines earlier too - maybe I could have a totally different pregnancy and postpartum time? I'm 33 and I have fertility issues, so I'm also feeling a bit of pressure time-wise to start trying since it took so long to conceive DS.
So, I want to know how you decided how far to space your children. Specifically, if any of you had traumatic pregnancies or terrible PPD with your first, I would love to hear your logic on how you decided to proceed with and time your next pregnancy. How did you know you were ready to go for it?
And if anybody has a story about the start getting ANY easier (emotionally) with subsequent children, I'd love to hear it. I'm not talking about the all-nighters, breastfeeding, and that stuff - that stays the same and is tough, but I'm talking more about the confidence and emotional stuff - did that get better for you with subsequent children?