just wondering...

[ootus973]

Am I the only one, or does anyone else find this a little surreal? I mean, I've been pregnant before...but this time I just feel so, well, I'm not even sure that weird would cover it. I dreamt about having more kids, but had put that out of my mind being single and taking care of my 2. Now, here I am, pregnant with a man who I love (and who can frustrate me like nobody else on Earth!)...I've seen the HPTs (uh, like 8 of them so far, and I'll probably do another tomorrow just because I couldn't have my first ultrasound like I wanted)...I've had the betas and heard the numbers...but, it still just seems unreal. I can't wrap my head around "mom of 3." I can't get excited about expecting together. Maybe it's because I haven't been to the Dr down here. Maybe it's because we've already lost people from this room. Maybe it's because I'm homesick and I miss my mom. I don't know what it is. With my daughter, I was so scared and almost didn't want her around (father tried to force me to terminate, and then to give her up)...maybe I just don't know how to feel about a pregnancy that's actually wanted. I almost feel, well, I guess I feel undeserving...

[sammilynn]

Well I feel like any moment ill be out of here again and there would be another notch on my belt. I keep thinking that ill never get my second baby but then feel guilty for wanting it because some can not even have one. I keep dreaming of brining another baby home but I feel like it will never happen. I also get baby envy when I see others with kids my child's age and what would of been one of my losses age. So yeah I am having trouble with grasping the idea of Sam mother of 2.

[ootus973]

Sammi

I had a dream last night that I was saying my child's birthday was Jan 3rd...

I used to feel so jealous when I saw happy couples with a new baby, and then felt guilty that I wasn't just enjoying the life and kids that I had.

[The J Team]

I am still in shock over this whole thing, as I was absolutely sure I wasn't pregnant. I, too, have felt jealous of friends who got pregnant with their second child when their first was not even a year old yet. I am totally thrilled with DD, but when you have that longing to add to your family (first baby or otherwise), it's hard to see everyone around you with what you would like for yourself. I'd like to think it's pretty normal...

[pumpkinpeejays]

I went to grab a beer at a barbecue yesterday and had to stop myself. I was like, "oh yeah...." Bloating has subsided for me and I'm still wearing pre-PG clothes so I think it'll really hit me when clothes get tighter.

[sammilynn]

lol Leigh. One of my friends had a birthday party this last week at a bar and one of my favorite local bands was playing I was all excited about going till I remember they only serve alcohol and not food so I'd be sitting there just listening and looking weird around our friends that don't know. So I didn't go lol

[ootus973]

I've been sober 12 years, so I don't have that problem....but as soon as I ordered a decaf at my favorite coffee shop they KNEW! I don't DO decaf, lol

[sammilynn]

See when I get the actual chance to get a real coffee from a shop then I am going to get a real coffee but just not as large as i can. lol

[pumpkinpeejays]

I still have coffee every morning, but it's half filled with milk so I don't think that counts. I miss my caffeine though

[sammilynn]

Lol I'm to the point of where I have to drink a cup a day or I get very constipated. Lol

[ootus973]

I'm doing half-caff at home now. I was drinking a pot a day, now I'm down to a pot or two.

[ootus973]

I meant a cup or two, not a pot, lol

[sammilynn]

sure you did

[squatchess]

I just have a very scared feeling, im afraid of missing the mc again. I tried for 2 years with my DH after our mc, we ended up getting divorced last year and now, a month off bc with my df and bam? i feel almost guilty. I wanna be so excited but im afraid of a mc again.

[tikyg]

it feels very subreal for me too.....
I knew i always wanted a second however i am very scared....i do not have a permanent job right now, we need to move to a bigger house and try and rent the one we currently have and my mom is kind of done caring for my DD which means i will have to do daycare for DD and the new LO....so a lot of unknowns in my life and that makes me scared and worried.....
But God has other plans....I prayed so hard and asked that he sent this baby whenever it was the best time and that I trusted his plan and whatever was to come I would accept it so I am trying my best to do that and not to worry and not to be scared.....I have faith that things happen for a reason and that somehow this will work out the best way.....

I am bloated to no end and feel pretty sick so I feel this pregnancy every minute now so it is getting more real by the minute....

[pumpkinpeejays]

Of course, I said that I was still wearing pre-PG clothes. Now today, the waistlines are all somewhat snug, it's like it happened over night! Luckily I have a few maxi dresses and elastic waist running shorts. One of my friends said she has a big bag of summer maternity clothes for me too. Guess I'm driving over there!

[swatty]

Its a touch surreal for me as well. Mostly b/c dh was so set against having another adn here we are. he's still not handling it well and doesn't really like talking about the baby at all. I do it anyways to make him realize that this IS happening!!

[pumpkinpeejays]

Its a touch surreal for me as well. Mostly b/c dh was so set against having another adn here we are. he's still not handling it well and doesn't really like talking about the baby at all. I do it anyways to make him realize that this IS happening!!

Poo on him! Takes two to tango

[ootus973]

Poo on him! Takes two to tango

What she said^^

Hopefully he'll come around in time.