How would you answer this...?

[MomOfAnOnly]

DD constantly asks a ton of questions (what 3 year old doesn't?), but often it's a question I don't have an answer for. Like a question about some specific thing she saw on tv or a daydream she had.... things I don't always know how to answer for her. She gets really upset when I tell her I don't know- "Please know, Mommy!" she tells me, and progressively gets more and more upset until I finally just make up something

I try to always be as truthful with her as possible, so making stuff up doesn't sit well with me. I've tried asking her what she thinks about whatever she's asking me, because I know sometimes kids ask questions when they really want to tell you what they think about something, but that's really not what she's wanting from me.

WWYD?

[mrsbabyhead]

Sadie does this. I will usually say something like "Well I'm not sure but I think the little girl's name is Suzie. Do you think her name is Suzie?" (if she asks about a kid on an ad) and it starts a dialogue about the ad or what we saw. Or I will tell her we can make up a story about XYZ since we don't know the answer.

I am not describing this very well, but I don't like to just make stuff up and she gets so upset sometimes. And sometimes I just tell her I don't know, explain why I don't know, and let her know it is OK to not know things and it is OK to wonder. The kid seems to think I know everything and the world will end if I don't know the answer to something.

[Ashleen]

Hmm.. I would have to have an example of a question to know exactly what you're talking about. But I know Paige asks me some hard questions. If it is simply something of fact I don't know, I tell her that we will look it up together, then we do. But sometimes she asks me much more profound questions (things regarding life, death, and the big why's of the universe) that don't really have a simple answer. For those questions I still might need to look something up but I do try to give as truthful an answer as I can. Even if my answer is something like, "know one really knows but these are somethings that people think" or "people think lots of different things about that, but this is what I think" then ask "what do you think"... I also tell her that people don't know everything and even grown ups are still learning and discovering things (the word discover seems to satisfy her more then if I just say learn). If you are talking about just asking a question about something that is nonsense and does not really have an answer, I would just offer up a bunch of different possibility's while implying they are silly and not necessarily fact.

[sookie4415]

Katelyn does this........still. She is my oldest. Although now if I tell her I don't know she can accept it since she is 6 Hang in there, I think what you are doing is good.

[DarkandtheWild]

"hmm, I'm not sure. Let's find out together, OK?"
What is she asking?

[preciousnd98]

Olivia likes to ask what people's names are - like on tv, in magazine ads, strangers on the street... if I tell her I don't know, she won't accept that. So I have resorted to just making up names for people too. Sorry I'm not much help because I seem to do something similar to you - and so far the questions I am fielding are more related to names and not other subjects. That is definitely a toughie!

[mommabert]

"hmm, I'm not sure. Let's find out together, OK?"

ita

[eireali]

My dd does this too and sometimes I wonder how she even thinks to come up with some of the questions she asks! If it's more scientific in nature and I don't know I tell her we'll look it up on the computer or in one of her kids encyclopedias even if I still have to simplify the answer a bit. If we are out somewhere and I have no resources near me I'll usually just tell her I'm not sure remind me to look when we get home. Unfortunately sometimes we both forget to look later but I figure whatever it is will come up again at some stage. My dd hasn't gotten into what peoples names are or things like that yet so I'm not sure what I would do in that instance.

[MomOfAnOnly]

Shes often asking about things other people have said or done, or why they did something. For instance -- "what did that girl at the store say to her mommy?" Obviously she's overheard people talking, but I usually have zero clue what/who she's talking about. And she usually waits to ask me about it until we are already home.
Sometimes she asks me about a show she's watched-"what did world girl say to dr. two brains?" Well they've said many things to each other, so I have no idea which specific sentence she's talking about. I will try to get her to give me a hint what she wants me to say, but that only starts to irritate her. So then I will just throw a couple things out there I can remember from a show. I'm almost always wrong, and my unsuccessful attempts only make her more upset with me. So then when I tell her I don't know, that's when she says "please know, mommy!" (she's upset so this is said with a whiney, unhappy voice.)
Anytimeshe asks me about nature or what a word means or anything like that, whenever possible we immediately look it up and discuss it. But that's different than the kind of answers she's asking for in the above situations.

[3andMe]

My children ask me questions about things like that, also, that I can't possibly know the answer to. Things like what a stranger's name is, or what that girl said to her mommy, or why she is wearing red boots. They don't get upset at me for not knowing the answer, but they can get a little whiny. They have been known to ask why I don't know. I like to answer that I know a lot of things, but I don't know everything, and that there are always more things to learn.

I have used them (my children) to illustrate why I don't know some of the things they ask. For example, if they ask why I don't know what someone said to her mommy, I can go across the room and tell something to their doll in a quiet voice. Did they hear that? Yes or no? What if there is a lot of noise in the background, like if music is playing or children are yelling? Can they hear me now? I tell them that I am in the same situation that they are in, that if we are together I cannot hear the conversation any better than they can. The main difference might be if I am paying attention and they are not.

I think a lot of it is just this mysterious amount of knowledge that we adults have. They don't know what we don't know--they just know we know a lot, so I'm sure it's frustrating to learn which things we can be relied upon for knowledge. It's also that they have a hard time seeing things from another's perspective. If she sees a show and knows exactly which part she's talking about, it doesn't occur to her that you might not have seen that show or might not know which part it is. My children don't do this so much any more, but they still talk about their friends at school to DH without realizing that he has no idea who they are.

[Ashleen]

My children ask me questions about things like that, also, that I can't possibly know the answer to. Things like what a stranger's name is, or what that girl said to her mommy, or why she is wearing red boots. They don't get upset at me for not knowing the answer, but they can get a little whiny. They have been known to ask why I don't know. I like to answer that I know a lot of things, but I don't know everything, and that there are always more things to learn.

I have used them (my children) to illustrate why I don't know some of the things they ask. For example, if they ask why I don't know what someone said to her mommy, I can go across the room and tell something to their doll in a quiet voice. Did they hear that? Yes or no? What if there is a lot of noise in the background, like if music is playing or children are yelling? Can they hear me now? I tell them that I am in the same situation that they are in, that if we are together I cannot hear the conversation any better than they can. The main difference might be if I am paying attention and they are not.

I think a lot of it is just this mysterious amount of knowledge that we adults have. They don't know what we don't know--they just know we know a lot, so I'm sure it's frustrating to learn which things we can be relied upon for knowledge. It's also that they have a hard time seeing things from another's perspective. If she sees a show and knows exactly which part she's talking about, it doesn't occur to her that you might not have seen that show or might not know which part it is. My children don't do this so much any more, but they still talk about their friends at school to DH without realizing that he has no idea who they are.

I actually saw a study done on this. It showed at 3 children don't realize we don't know the same stuff they know, but by 4 they have figured it out (it was a while ago I saw this so it could have been 4 and 5 year olds, but I am pretty sure it was 3 and 4's).

As far as what to tell her in these situations, I would say "Well I don't know (if she were asking what someone said to someone else), how did they seem like the felt, were they happy, sad ,ect.,?" Then I would say "well it could have been.." and offer up different possible answers. I have also told my daughter that I don't know what other people are thinking, and if she would get mad I would say "You can be mad about it if you want, but it's just not something I can know".

[Ky'sMom]

Elle does this as well. She says that I am "super intelligent" LOL and she thinks I know everything. I just tell her I don't know and when she gets kind of whiny that I don't know, I just explain that I don't know everything and I try to redirect her to something else. Most of the time that doesn't work (the redirection, she is getting to old for this and is very focused on things now) so I tell her I'm sorry I don't know and I hope she forgives me. I don't like to make up stories as I consider it lying so I will just say I don't know.

Erin

[iMom]

My DD does this a lot... usually if it is something scientific or related to something she saw I will tell her that we can find out together. If it is something from her imagination, I will ask her what she thinks and most of the time I add to the story.

For example, she has several dialogues going on with her hands, feet, & knees (they all have different names, personalities, etc...) She will start with a scenario and keep playing it out and then ask me "Mom, Why would Luna (her left hand) say that to her mom (her left foot)?" and then something crazy like "Do you think the dogs in the sky will come down and drive the cars for Romeo (her knee)?" I'm usually like uh... Well, I dunno.. what do you think? And if she doesn't have anything to add to the story I make up something fantastic and include her other characters in my story.

But I don't know if that is what you are talking about... but we run into this a lot because she has some many different characters with various plot lines going on ALL the time that I simply add to the story, but ask her what her character might think about it, etc...

[DarkandtheWild]

Shes often asking about things other people have said or done, or why they did something. For instance -- "what did that girl at the store say to her mommy?" Obviously she's overheard people talking, but I usually have zero clue what/who she's talking about. And she usually waits to ask me about it until we are already home.
Sometimes she asks me about a show she's watched-"what did world girl say to dr. two brains?" Well they've said many things to each other, so I have no idea which specific sentence she's talking about. I will try to get her to give me a hint what she wants me to say, but that only starts to irritate her. So then I will just throw a couple things out there I can remember from a show. I'm almost always wrong, and my unsuccessful attempts only make her more upset with me. So then when I tell her I don't know, that's when she says "please know, mommy!" (she's upset so this is said with a whiney, unhappy voice.)
Anytimeshe asks me about nature or what a word means or anything like that, whenever possible we immediately look it up and discuss it. But that's different than the kind of answers she's asking for in the above situations.

I would say something so full of ridiculousness and silliness that she would (hopefully) laugh and correct me, getting her closer to what she wants to hear. Or maybe forgetting about it entirely lol.