Late potty-trainers?
I would like to hear from the moms who had a late potty trainer (3 years old plus). When did your kid just decide to use the potty? How did it happen - did you put any pressure on or did they wake up one day and decide to do it?
My kids both fully understand what the potty is, how to use it, they just have no desire. I have not pushed the issue...always heard "they will do it when ready". I am starting to silently freak a bit.
Jayden was 3y 4m when he was PTd. I tried with him a couple times before, and he wasn't ready. He knew what the potty was, even tinkled in it once before but never wanted to really try. The last time I decided to go at it full force. So we played it up big! I did what I did with Peyton. We went to Target and I let him pick out a pack of his favorite big boy underwear. I got a bucket and let him cover it in stickers and I filled it with goodies from the Target dollar bin. I put little coloring books, crayons, matchbox cars, fruit snacks, just little goodies. We also picked up some stickers. That night we talked about it a lot. About how if he pottied on the big boy potty he would get to put a sticker on the sticker chart and also get to pick a prize from the potty bucket. The first day went GREAT. He pottied on the potty all day, like he knew all along what he was supposed to do and was just waiting to get rewarded for it. The only problem we had the first day was his pee ending up on the floor, even though he was sitting on the potty. That was my fault tho, I didn't know he needed to hold his winky down.The second day went great, too. The third day he had like 2 accidents in his underwear, but it was because he got really into the puzzle we were doing. But it was helpful that he had the accident because I think it made him more aware! That was it. He's had one accident since then, at a family members house becuase he was really into playing with his cousins. About a month ago I realized that the pull ups were dry every morning and 2 weeks ago I stopped even putting them on him.
Honestly, I think it was so easy because I didn't push. The same with Peyton. Marissa, my first, I was so worried about everything that I pushed too much. And she'd get it, and then regress. She wasn't fully trained until she was 4. Although I blame that on myself, it could have just been her. Who knows.
I hope you don't mind, I added a couple pics
Stickering his potty bucket
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Looking at all the goodies!
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Throwing away his final diaper!
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Sticker chart!
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Sticker chart in use!
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We are potty training now, and DD is almost 3. We tried early, but I don't think she was ready and I got pregnant and sick, so I wasn't ready either. For a long time I would just have her little potty out, and if she wanted to go I would help her and praise her when it happened, but other than that I didn't make a deal of it.
A few weeks ago we decided to go for it. We made a big deal of going to the store and she got to pick out her own undies, we did rewards, a potty chart, the whole shebang. What she loved most was the positive reaction, though. High fives and praise, etc. She still has an accident every once and a while, especially if she is in a new place, but I think waiting for her to mature was a lot easier. She is doing great!
I have a friend who has a little boy around 2 years old and she is really stressing about potty training. They have been at it since he was 18 months old. She gets so frustrated and she has even started punishing when he has accidents. I really think it would be best for her to wait. I mean, its not like they will become adults and not know how to use a toilet, kwim? They will get it. I just don't see it as something to stress over.
ETA - We decided to try because she was interested in the potty, and she would come to us and tell us when she wanted a diaper change, especially after she pooped.
Last edited by KC's wifey; 04-30-2012 at 11:25 AM.
~ Polly ~Married to my perfect match!
Loving my growing family!
I don't consider age 3 late by any means. In fact I generally don't start PT until at least age 3. To me it's not worth it. Diapers are way easier and I don't feel like cleaning up accidents all day because some kids just cannot physically grasp the concept before age 3. Certainly some can but I just prefer to wait.
That said DD2 (Jacob's age) is pee trained but still insists on a diaper or pull-up for #2. Actually today I got her to "try" and do #2 and she sat on the toilet and played with my kindle fire (hey whatever works!). Nothing happened but that was the biggest advancement we have had since starting PTing 2.5 months ago. about a month and a half ago we went to the store and picked out 2 awesome gifts for when she did #2 on the potty. They have been sitting in my room since. She knows they are there, looks at them, we talk about them, we talk about how excited everyone will be once she does poops on the potty! But she still refuses when it comes time. If I wasn't pregnant and just really tired I might try to push it a little harder but really, she is the one in control and I don't want to make an issue out of it. So when she is ready, she will do it.
In your case since your kids are close in age and Jacob seems resistant anyway I would wait until Natalie is closer to 3 and try to train them both together. It's a commitment though from my experience. You need to stay home for at least 2-3 days and just focus. Clean up accidents. Use rewards. etc. It's a PITA but if the time is right you can be done in 3 days. DD only had accidents the first day or 2 and we haven't had one in months. She can totally hold it if she needs to. Just this weekend we went to SIL's house 45 mins away and she wore underwear in the car and at SIL's the whole time and then back home. She did fine.
There is nothing to freak out about re: a child who isn't potty trained I'd say maybe until age 5? It's a big developmental step for them. They all handle it differently.
Thing 1 (6), Thing 2 (4), Thing 3 (10M)
Katie will be 4 years old in three weeks and only in the last month, month and a half would I say she was potty trained. It was a real struggle. In my honest opinion, no matter how ready they might be physically, until the child is ready MENTALLY, they're just not going to do it. Katie finally got motivated when she realized that she was the only one in her class at school who still wore pull-ups and didn't use the potty. Even at that, it was another month before she really started wearing big girl panties AND keeping them mostly dry. My son was the same way, 20-something years ago. He just up and decided one day that he was going to wear big-boy pants because his best friend at day care wore big boy pants. He was potty trained from that day forward and even at that he was nearly 3.
Lynne, Grandma to three beautiful girls and one handsome little man!
we PTed a little after 3. We tried once, and I could tell it was a disaster. We stopped after day 1. Then, I waited a few months, and tried again. We spent some time reading potty books and talking about how to use the potty. IDK if he actually said "I want to use the potty" but he was not as resistant to it at all. We didn't have to use any rewards. He took to it very easily. It was such a difference between when he did it and a few months prior.
Age 3 is statistically the average age of PT so a little over 3 is not late IMO. It is a process for most kids and it really depends on the child. Matthew is showing avid interest but he is 2 and just started showing bladder control but he has this little squirts here and there, no long dry periods, so to me he needs to be able to hold it for 2 hours or so before I bother with PT. So he is mentally ready but not physically ready yet. But that's me. Many people in my shoes will start PT him. I have put him on the potty several times just for practice.
Kevin is the type who has to see and observe before trying. He was going to school for speech issues before 2 (I was originally planning to wait till he is 3 for preschool). They did some loose PT there. He did not have bladder control before about 3 yo - you could sit him on the potty but he could not pee the smallest amount. Once I saw he had bladder control, I gave it try: I explained, encouraged, promised stickers and he PT for about 3 days. It happened just before his 3rd birthday. However, this experience is not the most typical one out there. I hear most friends do it gradually for months. But I haven't read any books, articles etc., just used common sense. Not sure how it will go down with Matthew.
DD will be three in less than a week and is only recently showing much interest or willingness to PT. Its still hit or miss. Most often, she'll sit on it and read, then wipe, then flush - but not actually goI'm not pushing it or pressuring at all at this point. I'll be home with her all day during the summer, so we'll do nekkie time more often and probably use Jai's idea of a goodie bucket come mid-May!
My pediatrician told me that 3.5 is average for boys to potty train, so you don't sound late to me. DS trained at 3y3mo. We'd tried several times w/no success. We didn't push it. Then over Christmas, we put him in big boy undies. It took him a day or two to get the concept and then had pretty much no accidents. Getting #2 to be consistently in the potty took a bit longer, but by the end of a month, he was trained for both #1 and #2.
Nicholas (9/25/08) - Elena & Alexander (4/16/12)
White Chocolate Macadamia Nut
Hopelessly Devoted
Griffin was PT at 4 years, 2 months. I started PT him at 18 months. I finally sat him down and said "I will not change your diapers anymore. It's time." I had literally tried every single idea under the sun to get this kid to use the potty. I had Matchbox cars and a track sitting in the bathroom for months as rewards but he didn't seem to care. I'm not sure if it was my sitting him down and begging (and crying, I admit it) or if he just made the decision himself or what, but he only had a few accidents and it was pretty pain-free.
Last year when G was 2 years 10 months, we did the naked bottom and he did fine. But the minute underwear would go on, he would have accidents. I would say that he was 70% trained, at about 3 years 4 months. Now at 3 years 10 months he is 100% day and night trained. But I really didn't do anything, except wait for him to be ready. We talked about pt, we read books about pt, and one day it clicked and he was ready. I wouldn't call 3 years, late training, I would say that is normal.
Shelley
Hayden was our first, and only so far, to potty train. We had tried to do it off and on probably 5 or 6 times since they were about 2 1/2 with no luck, just tons of accidents. One day Hayden just went on the potty and we gave her a mini cupcake as a reward, she got one every time she went. The rewards got smaller and fewer and then we cut them totally and she was fine. It just clicked for her, that whole first week she only had 2 accidents and they were both our fault not hers. She was 3 years 2 months old. She has been 100% day trained ever since...we haven't bothered with night training, won't until Xander and Lily get on board. We keep bringing it up to Xan and Lily, and have tried a day here and there but they have done nothing but have accidents so we just chalk it up to them not being ready yet. They will be 4 in July. We aren't pushing it, I mean can you really force a kid to potty train? We just keep bringing it up and watching for signs....even Haddie talks about it to them and asks them if they want to see how she does it LMAO! I can't wait for the day...by the time Xander and Lily are PTed I am betting Jericho will be too LOL since he does everything they do
haha, this is what prompted us too!Originally Posted by KC's wifey
Lindsay (30) DH - Matt (32) and DDs - Olivia and Lauren
I had to laugh a little here. I totally think this is going to be us. I can are myself just telling them one day, I am done.
Natalie shows interest in the potty and has sporadically used it, but I know she's not ready. She doesn't have bladder control fully yet and I just can't do the every ten minutes sit on the potty routine. Just can't. So I let her go when she asks, but don't push it and she's still in diapers.
I always thought that when Natalie showed interest jacob would too...everything between them is usually a competition...but Nope. He was quite happy to step aside and.let her have the potty.
I will try to keep my wits. I am frustrated because jacob is so intelligent and I know he is physically ready (we have done bare bottom and he will hold it for two hours and wait for me to put a diaper on him before he pees). Its a battle of the wills at this point and I am trying to play my cards right and pretend to be nonchalant about it and let him take the lead.
I am only really antsy because I would love to get him involved in some activities like preschool or sports or other classes and he needs to be potty trained. We talk to him about it and he knows the rules about no diapers but he ain't budging. He doesn't really know what he's missing bit there are some thongs out there that I think he would absolutely love id only he would ditch the diaper!
Btw my sig doesn't show when I post from my phone but Natalie is 2 yrs 2 mos and Jacob is 3 yrs 1 mo.
I am battling this with my son. We just got settled in to our three bedroom apt with our w/d so now I am telling him pull ups at night only. I will bring extra clothes wherever. I sort of am pushing him but, I do not want him to be 4 in pull ups and miss out on preschool. He'll be 4 in July.
-LINDSAY-
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