How did you prepare your little ones for the new baby?

[Cricket]

My baby is due a week before our twins turn three! We are trying to prepare the twins for the new edition by talking about the baby, taking them to ultrasounds, playing and making comparisons between their dolls and the real baby, reading stories etc!! Is there anything else we can do to prepare them?
Thanks,
Cricket

[twinmom34]

My little ones were 15 & 17 when their sisters were born, so I am of no help...

[3andMe]

Yours will be almost the same age difference as mine were. I think it's a really good spread. I started well in advance trying to get my twins more independent--encouraging them to climb into their car seats on their own, washing their hands on their own, etc. I already knew I was going to have a C-Section and would be alone for a few weeks afterwards, so I needed to not have to lift them up. I also got them going to bed by themselves ahead of the baby's birth, so they wouldn't connect any issues with being awake and alone in bed with a new baby appearing (prior to that I used to hold them until they fell asleep).

I got several books about babies, and one of the ones I particularly liked talked about babies not eating pizza. I really emphasized with them how important it was to not give the baby any food. They really are inclined to be helpful, and will want to help a crying baby sometimes by giving them a little snack if your back is turned for a second. I thought mine understood that completely, but once I found them giving my infant a cracker when he was in his carseat and I was bringing groceries in from the car.

Other tips, in no particular order--

I think having twins first makes it a lot easier, in some ways. They already have experience waiting for things, having to take turns, having to share you and share their things. I think it is easier doing it this way around than having a singleton first and twins second. And honestly, there is a luxury in some ways of having only one infant to deal with in diapers and feedings and lugging around. Your 3-year-olds can sort of follow directions, and you can get the big cart at Target and both of them can sit in it while you wear the baby or later on put him/her in the seat, and they can sometimes help each other, even. My twins help each other get dressed or put on shoes or pick out clothes. One of them will get the toothbrushes out while the other one puts the toothpaste on, for example.

For the sibling issues, I bought a couple of stuffed animals for my twins and snuck them into the hospital in my bag and gave them to my twins when they visited us, and said they were from their new brother. They first met him by getting a present from him.

If I could not attend to them because of breastfeeding or diaper changing or whatever, I never said that I couldn't do it because of that. I just said, "I'll be there in a few minutes." That way, they wouldn't hear the reason or blame on the new baby.

I encouraged them to help with diaper changing. They were eager to carry diapers to the trash to bring wipes, and take part in the process. They liked to bring a binky (although our baby didn't like them) or whatever else he needed. They practically fought over it, so it was a delicate balance. I always praised them for helping him feel more comfortable and making him happy. I would encourage them to sing him lullabies when he cried and let them know that it helped and that he appreciated it.

One thing that I did that I haven't found in other people's lists, so maybe it's a little wacky, is I told them that when our baby was too little to talk, he still loved them, but just couldn't say it. So when he opened his eyes and looked at them, he was really trying to say he loved them but he just didn't know how to talk yet. Pretty much every time he opened his eyes and looked at them, they would exclaim, "Look! He's saying he loves me!"

They did really well, almost magically well, the first six months. Once our baby started crawling and getting into their stuff and playing with their toys and destroying their train tracks and towers, then it became much harder. I needed to start giving the twins a separate area that was baby-safe for them to do puzzles and play games, and even then, it wasn't all roses.

Now, at almost two years, our baby is a fully integrated part of our family. The twins tell him knock-knock jokes and he says "Who's there?" and laughs (even though he doesn't get it). They play together. They do crafts together. We all go on walks together. The twins got their first bikes with training wheels today and our baby rode a balance bike for his first time today. They all helped each other. The twins read our baby stories at nap time and sometimes at bed time. It's so sweet. Our baby runs up to them and says "Big hug!" and "Cuddle pile!" and they all get together in a big mess of arms and legs and sweetness. If one child feels like being alone and another one wants to play, there is always another one willing to play, and our baby is old enough to be able to do so.

[Cricket]

Thank you both for taking the time to reply.
3andMe - I think your suggestions will really help! Loved the idea about the baby looking at them was his way of saying he loved them! So sweet!

[sharn]

My son and my twin girls are about 2 years 3 months apart. I just wanted to post real quickly. 3andMe had some great suggestions. My son adjusted incredibly well to the twins and I was really worried about it. He calls them his babies and tells me that he loves his babies. He tells everyone that he has two babies. We read "I'm a big Brother now" so that he would understand that babies cry and also understand all the things that he can do that they can't do yet. I really liked the book and highly recommend it. I'll be curious how it goes when they get older and want to play with his toys!

Definitely make sure they understand they can't feed the baby. My older brother almost killed me when I was a baby giving me food when we were in the car (we're a year apart). My Mom fortunately saw in the rear view mirror that I was turning blue and managed to pull over in time.

I also found things I could do with Jake while breastfeeding the twins. I would have him sit on the bed next to me and read him books while I fed them. It worked better when they were little - now they get distracted and I have to nurse them in a separate room or they won't eat while Jake is there.

Good luck!

[lillybearsmom]

my twins were 17 months old when baby #3 was born...i was SOOOO nervous about how they were going to react to a new baby being around BUT to my relief, they welcomed baby and till this day are OBSESSED with their baby brother! they are constantly playing with him, looking after him and kissing him...it is so cute to watch! Makes me even more excited for baby #4 to be here!!