Scared and need advice!

[jessicakali1989]

Hi everyone. This is the first time I'm using this forum. I am in desperate need of advice.

My periods are never regular since I stopped the pill last year (April). My last period was on the 24th of November. I estimated that I would get my next one on the 26th of December.

On the 25th of December my boyfriend of 7 years and I had unprotected sex. He did not ejaculate in me. Instead, he pulled out and only ejaculated a few seconds afterwards (on my chest, nowhere near my vagina). He hadn't ejaculated previously on that day.

It is now the 3rd of Jan and I haven't had my period yet. I am not sure of my ovulation dates as I have never kept track of them in the past. My question is twofold - what do you think are the odds of getting pregnant without him ejaculating in me (ie getting pregnant via pre-ejaculatory fluid) and when should I take a home pregnancy test? People have answered (very rudely) on other health forums that I need to wait until my missed period. To this I reiterate - I had sex the day before my period was (estimated to be) due and haven't had it since. Should I wait 2 weeks? Or 3?

I am extremely anxious about this. I am unable to eat or sleep from fear, there are tears welling up as I type this.

Some additional information: I have been ill this past month. On the 21st of December I was in hospital and administered a drip (antibiotic), on the 13th of December I was treated (again with an antibiotic) for a urine infection and last week Wednesday (28th December) for a throat infection. Today I am yet again on another 2 antibiotics for a recurring throat infection. Could any of this have caused a delay in my period?

I thank you all in advance for any support you offer. People on other sites have replied rather scathingly and have been judgemental. Please help!

[haydensmom]

First of all, huge hugs!

I think it's probably more likely that all of your health issues have made this cycle wonky than it is that you're pregnant. It could be that you're going to ovulate much later than normal or possibly not at all. Stress on your body (psychological and physiological) can cause delays with ovulation. But if you've already ovulated your period will come as scheduled no matter what is going on. I hope that makes sense!

Obviously no one here is going to have a magic answer and the only way to find out is to test. But we'll be here to support you along the way! Instead of going to the store and buying an expensive pack of tests, I recommend going to the dollar store and buying one of theirs for $1.00. That way you're not out a lot of money and I've used them with accuracy in the past. It would be just enough to put your mind at ease. You could buy a couple so you could test now and then test again in a week or so if your period still hasn't shown up.

Have you thought about going back on some form of birth control so you don't have to worry yourself like this? If you're not ready for a pregnancy it would be a great way to save yourself some anxiety! I had a couple of scares when my (now) husband and I were in college and it's consuming and terrifying when you're not ready for it! I was on the pill then but it's still scary because nothing is 100% other than abstinence!

[jessicakali1989]

Hi! Thank you so much for your prompt response! It feels good knowing that there are people out there willing to support others.

I was on Yasmin since I was 16, originally for my skin after I finished a course of roacutane and then I was on it to regulate my periods. My boyfriend and I very rarely are intimate as we hardly get to spend time together. (Even though we have been together 7 years we just recently have slept together for the first time) I have just completed university which means that I don't have medical aid anymore (in South Africa children who are studying are covered by their parents' medical aid). Getting on a pill again would be costly - and it's not very easily available either. My boyfriend and I have used condoms everytime - except of course for the incident on Christmas when we didn't plan on being able to see each other and hence could not go out and get condoms.

There are unfortunately no drug stores here which sell HPTs cheaply - so I will have to settle for a pharmacy brand. I will buy 2 and use them a week apart. At this stage money isn't an option as my peace of mind comes first! And from here on out abstinence seems to be the way forward for us. Thankfully he's the type who understands and supports me.

Once again, your kind words and advice are greatly appreciated.

[College_Girl_14305]

First of all the ladies here are great and most are not judgemental!
If u had sex on December 25, I would wait 2 weeks from that date then test, since you don't know when you ovulated... I hope you get the results you you are wanting

[jessicakali1989]

Thank you! I will test on Sunday. Much love and appreciation!

[midgetlb6]

Well if your last period was in Nov, then I would say your already late. So I would test, if indeed that comes back negitive then yes it is most likely that you medications and hospital stays and stress have delayed your period which is not uncommon. Obviously your not a careless person if you have waited all this time to be intimate with your DF. I hope you get the results your looking for although at this point it sounds your like not ready to become a parent. There is a web site called Fertilityfriend.com where you can chart your cycles and become aware of what your body is doing and signs of being fertile so you know when to keep your boyfriend at bay sort to speak and it may take a couple of cycles and looking for fetile signs for you to know your body until such a time that you can afford to go back on birth control. GL

[JJorn]

Since you said that your periods are not regular, I would also wait two weeks from the day that you last has sex and then test. If an egg was fertilized, it should have implanted by that point and the results from a pregnancy test should be reliable. It certainly makes it less likely that you are pregnant because he did not ejaculate inside of you, but it is still possible.

[Adhafera]

I agree with the others, I would bet it is probably your other health issues, medication and stress that's made you late. If you still haven't gotten your period two weeks from the date you had sex, I'd test then. Best of luck!

[Rae_1478]

I'm agreeing with all the above! Just wanted to comment so you know that you can always find a lot of support here!

[jessicakali1989]

Hi everyone! So on Saturday I went to the pharmacy at the mall and got myself 4 tests. I decided I'd take the first one at the mall. Upon going to the loo, lo and behold - a bit of blood on my underwear. The test came back negative but I'm not letting my guard down because it was only 13 days post-sex. I plan on taking the next test on Thursday. I've been bleeding ever so lightly since Saturday. But my sister and mom both had 2 periods while pregnant so I'm not taking any chances! Once again to all you wonderful ladies THANK YOU!

[Adhafera]

Thanks for the update! Best of luck hun!

[jewelzs2]

Ok so I just want to get another person's opinion on this. Here is the situation. I am not ttc nor am I preventing it. I just want to know .

My LMP was 12/20/11. My next expected period is 1/16/12. I had intercourse on the 1/2/12. My fertile days were from 12/31/11-1/4/12. I began spotting on 1/7 and 1/8 off an on throughout the day. The spotting stopped on Monday and returned yesterday and today but now has since gone away. The color was a very light pinkish color and earlier this morning it was a brown/pinkish color. I am not the type to spot, once I come on my cycle I am on my cycle if you know what I mean.

Could I actually be pregnant. My breasts feel heavy and at times throughout the day they get tingly and get sore if I push on them by mistake. I am extremely gassy and my stomach feels like I am 8 months pregnant. I also burp uncontrollably and I have had several "fish" dreams if that means anything.

What are your thoughts????

[College_Girl_14305]

Ok so I just want to get another person's opinion on this. Here is the situation. I am not ttc nor am I preventing it. I just want to know .

My LMP was 12/20/11. My next expected period is 1/16/12. I had intercourse on the 1/2/12. My fertile days were from 12/31/11-1/4/12. I began spotting on 1/7 and 1/8 off an on throughout the day. The spotting stopped on Monday and returned yesterday and today but now has since gone away. The color was a very light pinkish color and earlier this morning it was a brown/pinkish color. I am not the type to spot, once I come on my cycle I am on my cycle if you know what I mean.

Could I actually be pregnant. My breasts feel heavy and at times throughout the day they get tingly and get sore if I push on them by mistake. I am extremely gassy and my stomach feels like I am 8 months pregnant. I also burp uncontrollably and I have had several "fish" dreams if that means anything.

What are your thoughts????

I think maybe the spotting was implant bleeding.... I would definitely take pregnancy test around when ur period is due! I hope you get the outcome you are hoping for!

[jewelzs2]

Thanks...will do. I at first thought it was period but I was like wait a minute I just finished like a week or so ago...do you know how long the implant bleeding can last??? I did not have this with my other two children. I guess I may have to wait until Monday....

[Adhafera]

I agree, could be implantation spotting. Just because you've never had it before, doesn't mean you wouldn't ever have implantation bleeding. Every pregnancy is different. I'd take a test when your period is due. Best of luck!