visiting a new church w/children

[i.<3.cheesysmiles]

Our church is in transition, and DH and I are not wild about the interim pastor. One reason we do love our church is how family friendly it is. It is a very small church. The nursery usually only has a few other kids, and that is really good since DS1 has trouble being left with anyone. AFter being at this church for 1.5 years, we are finally able to leave him for the whole service since he knows the adults. Children are actually allowed to be in during the sermon if parents choose to, also. Our sunday school is just one group of children, and the youngest is maybe 6 years old, and most of them are between 8-10, so DS is not ready for that.

Many people have left the church, and one of our friends invited us to visit his church. I saw their website this morning, and they only have nursery for up to 18 months old. DS1 is 3. Older children go to Sunday school. There is no way DS1 would go into a classroom with strange adults and strange children. He has had no classroom type experience.

So do I go to visit the church and have DH and I just take turns taking the boys out? This kind of turns me off - like the feeling I got from the site was not as kid-friendly as I'd like. Would you email the pastor for more specifics? Do children of visitors normally attend Sunday school?

[caligirl07]

I've noticed when new families visit our church they tend to keep their kids with them for at least a few weeks (which I totally understand and would probably also do). I'd hope they could stay in the service with you or at least the nursing moms room? I'd at least try, if the kids aren't welcome in the sanctuary then I'd have a weird taste in my mouth anyway...


Maybe if you went a few weeks and liked it you could ask about attending the Sunday school with him for a while...? I've also had that happen while teaching ss, where new families would hang close or be a helper...

[LaurainFL]

I would contact the church and ask what the Sunday School is like. At my church, once the kids turn 2, they technically go into a Sunday School class for their age. My son is in the 2 year-old's class. However, the class is in the nursery building, and it is really like a nursery time anyway.

They teach a very short Bible lesson, sing songs, etc., but they understand that at that age, the majority of time is spent on play. The kids certainly aren't expected to sit still like in a classroom setting.

[JJorn]

I would also call and ask for more specifics. I taught a 2-3 and just a 3 year old sunday school class and there is still plenty of free play. There is a short Bible story, we sang songs and danced, went through a memory verse with motions and did a craft. There wasn't anything compulsorily and some children didn't do everything. Honestly, if the children were very young or very energetic, I also had the freedom to not do any of the activities.

[i.<3.cheesysmiles]

thanks. i will call or email. my conern is that it took us a year to get DS to stay in a nursery, so i do not think he will go to a new one day 1, especially if there is any kind of structure, as he has never been in a structured environment. Even when we do story hour at the library, he does not sit to listen for more than 2 minutes, and that is with me right there. Plus, with his shyness, and with my wariness to leave him alone with people I don't know, I will call to see what the Sunday school is like and whether I could stay with him. I should at least get a better feel for how child friendly the church is since that is important to us.

[LuTruPeMo]

Even if they had a nursery type class for my child, I would not send them the first time visiting unless I knew the workers in there from somewhere else (previously). I just don't trust strangers with my children, sadly, even in a church.

Perhaps you can get more info about the 3 year old's class and see if it's maybe not too rigid. I know at some churches the preschool age kids have a class, but it's still a lot of play and just a very short lesson/sitting down time.

[i.<3.cheesysmiles]

Even if they had a nursery type class for my child, I would not send them the first time visiting unless I knew the workers in there from somewhere else (previously). I just don't trust strangers with my children, sadly, even in a church.

Perhaps you can get more info about the 3 year old's class and see if it's maybe not too rigid. I know at some churches the preschool age kids have a class, but it's still a lot of play and just a very short lesson/sitting down time.

Yeah, I don't trust strangers with my children, either. Actually, when DH and I first shopped for a church, we went twice. The second time, there was a man lingering in the nursery with his phone out, and we felt he was taking pics, so we never went back.

That is a part of why I like our church. We love the people, and we have gotten to know the people in the nursery well. I don't know how we will go to the church with kids who would be split into two different classes and be there at the same time as they have a separate nursery and separate school. I am not sure we are considering this church as a possibility for becoming a new church. We'd just be visiting as it is quite a drive away. As it is now, our church is a 7-minute drive and we can't make it there every week because of DS2's naps, and even when we go, we are always late.

We have stuff going on the next 3-4 Sundays now, so we'll revisit going out to this church in the new year, and I'll call before we do so that I can get a feel if it is worth the drive. The friend who goes there has similar views as I do, and says the pastor is a great teacher, so it may be worth it.