I have wonderful in-laws that love my kids very much. There is just a few problems whenever we go to visit and I don't know what to do.

First, even if I remind them politely my kids are never home at nap time or put to bed at bed time. This weekend we were all using the same car so all I could do was encourage us to leave/get going and it always fell on deaf ears. My DH was not with us for this visit. So, we have plenty of over tired melt downs when we visit. I do understand that they want to spend time with the kids....but a two year old and a ten month old need to nap and go to bed at a reasonable time.

The other thing is that they give my kids lots of things to eat that I have expressly asked that they not give them. Not only could they have a preservative in them to which they might be allergic (since I am allergic) but no two year old needs to eat five breakfast sausages, two adult size portions of desert, as many of anything that they ask for, pink lemonade when they only drink water (and only wanted water) or be given choking hazards. An infant doesn't need to eat everything off your plate (and fork/spoon/have their food licked before being placed in their mouth), be given numerous brand new foods just in one meal, be given choking hazards and cookies. If I say anything, they simply give it to them when I am not looking. Since we also don't eat this way normally my kids either get very constipated or have diarrhea with horrible diaper rashes (sensitive skin kids over here) after all this nonsense. If they do see any aftermath, they never put two and two together.

My DH says that they didn't feed him this way so this is something that they are just doing with the grand kids (mine are the only ones right now).

So, what can I do? Do I send them a nice e-mail explaining why I make certain requests about food and sleeping - and include the disaster that I have when I get home? My DH has talked to them about this and it hasn't seemed to help. Do I just have my DH really talk to them about this again?

I am practically in tears over here. My DH just got back in town and he's talking about severely limiting their interactions...that would be very devastating to them and my two year old wants to see them all the time.