Single and Pregnant - Am I the Only One?

[PinchMe]

Hello, ladies. Just checking to see if anyone else out there is going through pregnancy without a partner? I'm just shy of 12 weeks and the father has not been supportive at all. We were only dating for a short time before I became pregnant (surprise!). While we are still technically together, he is not supportive, and if I'm honest with myself I don't see us lasting too much longer. He wanted me to abort. He does not talk about the baby. He does not ask how I am feeling, how I am doing emotionally, has not asked how any of my appointments have gone. Nothing. To make matters worse, I am considered high-risk and am on blood thinners, as well as being as the Doctor put it yesterday "at an advanced maternal age." So, if anything, I certianly should be old enough to know better, right? How did I get myself here and why am I holding on? That's a very, very good question. I think it's mostly out of sheer terror of doing this alone from the get-go. Don't get me wrong, I'm a very strong and independant person normally, but I am a complete mess lately. I do not feel strong at all. I'm scared. Very scared. Anyone else in a similar situation? It feels really lonely where I am right now and could use some company.

[Babidol]

I'm not but I wanted to offer big hugs. And a hearty congratulations!!! If you stop in the feb dd room there is a first time single mom at 38 expecting twins!! She chose ivf so a little different from. Sounds like your partner needs a swift kick to the rear ;) good luck momma. You got this!!

[PinchMe]

Babidol,

Thank you so much! I feel like I'm losing my mind most days. I actually am due in early March, and spend a lot of time in the March DD room and think I've seen some of her posts. I should PM her. Thanks again!

[newmom84]

Well first off, Congratulations!!!

I'm not pregnant but I was in your position about 2 years ago, now I have a 14 month old energizer bunny. I'm not going to lie and say its easy. It is hard and scary at first but it's worth it all, I promise. And it gets easier and easier as they get older. Well at least in my experience so far. If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me.

[PinchMe]

Oh yay! I was hoping someone who has survived the first year alone would be here to offer encouragement! Thank you for posting, and you may hear from me!

[EttyBaby]

Congratulations on your sweet baby! I was in your position as well three years ago! Its such a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows, but its been the single best thing I've ever done with my life! She is everything to me, and its been totally worth every single tear and smile. It definitely gets easier. Feel free to message me anytime!

[PinchMe]

Thank you. I know it's an amazing blessing and it is going to give my life purpose, but it's so hard to combat the feelings of loneliness and to try to understand things from his perspective at this point. I know I should just stop trying to see from his perspective, though. I know he is not worth the trouble.

[newmom84]

Thank you. I know it's an amazing blessing and it is going to give my life purpose, but it's so hard to combat the feelings of loneliness and to try to understand things from his perspective at this point. I know I should just stop trying to see from his perspective, though. I know he is not worth the trouble.

It took me a long time to stop waiting and hoping for baby daddy to get involved. I'm not saying that your guy won't ever change, but once I let go and just focused on being a mom it was so much easier to deal with everything.

[EttyBaby]

I had to let all that go. I actually chose to end the relationship with her father because it was toxic and made me emotionally unwell. He's only seen her twice in these past 3+ years, and I am at a place where I am more than okay with that. It can be so lonely at times, I know. But take some of that feeling and redirect it towards becoming a mother and you'll be so grateful you did. Hugs!

[ootus973]

I was in your position 5 years ago...i made it through almost 4 years alone, and that little DD picked the man who is now my fiancé and partner in raising DD and DS. If you ever need an extra ear, feel free to pm me. I was high risk then, and more so now, so I get how much the non-supportive bio-dad can add to that stress. He made an attempt when she turned 3 to come around, but it didn't last more than a couple of visits. We're better off the way things worked out.

Congrats, by the way!

[CamaLamaMama]

No, I am single and pregnant. We recently ended our about 5.5 year relationship; I am hoping that we can attempt to work things out, for the sake of my other child as will as the one that I am pregnant with. My ex has been getting more supportive the last two weeks, after I first told him he was not. I am just over 10 weeks now. You are not alone.

[PinchMe]

No, I am single and pregnant. We recently ended our about 5.5 year relationship; I am hoping that we can attempt to work things out, for the sake of my other child as will as the one that I am pregnant with. My ex has been getting more supportive the last two weeks, after I first told him he was not. I am just over 10 weeks now. You are not alone.

I'm sorry to hear. I hope that you are able to work things out as well. At least he's making steps in the right direction!

I ended things with BD Friday after not hearing from him for two days after an appointment with the high risk specialist and haven't heard from him since. Good riddens, right? That's what I have to keep telling myself.

I hope he keeps supporting you and doing his best! Let me know if you ever want/need to chat.

[twinmom34]

I am not pg but, have raised a set of kiddos alone and am currently doing it over again. I was a single mother to my boys that I had in high school until I got married when they were 15 & 17. Unfortunately for me the fairy tale did not exist and we did not end happily ever after. I filed for divorce in February and it has been the best thing I have done in a long, long time. I have been there done that with the single parent thing so I hope to survive it once again with the girls. I am older now so it isn't as easy as it was with the boys but, I am doing it. If you ever need anything feel free to pm me. Sometimes posts can get lost in here if I don't get back on quick enough

[PinchMe]

Thanks, Dee Dee. I will certainly keep you in mind. I wish you the best of luck, but it sounds like you know exactly what you are doing and don't need the luck. It sounds like you are one strong momma! I'm here for support should you need! Hang in there!

[V]

Hi (and congratulations too)

I'm raising my two young children alone, my partner of 16yrs left when DD was 2yrs 3months old and DS was only 3months old. I can only agree with the PPs, its hard but so very rewarding. The best thing you can do is to re-direct your loneliness into being the best mother you can be. My take on it is this - I have experienced the love of a partner for many years already, and I am (almost) certain I will experience that love again at some point in my life, but my children will only ever have one childhood. This is their time and this way I get to focus all my love and attention on them during this precious time.

Warm wishes and KUP

[Janis1210]

Dear Single & Pregnant, Congrats on your beautiful little blessing My heart goes out to you, I was a single mom with my oldest. I have two kids and one on the way! My son is now 12 years old, but when I was pregnant with him I found out my ex was cheating on me. I left him and found a job when I should have been on maternity leave. Those years were so hard for me, but the one thing that kept me going and strong was the look of that little boy's face starring at me and depending on me for everything. I managed to stay strong for the two of us and now I am the happiest I have ever been! He is such an amazing little boy, and he just started junior high about two weeks ago. He is in advance math class and is going to join the wrestling team at his school. He is super loving, smart, athletic, and handsome!!! All the things my ex isn't Keep your head up and most of all keep your faith. I prayed everyday during those days and still do!

I would honestly, cutt off all contact with your ex at this point, if he doesn't want to be there for the two of you, the last thing you need at this fragile stage is stress. Keep yourself and your baby happy and healthy. You can later file for child support I did.

Good luck to you & God bless

[PinchMe]

Thanks again, ladies. You really have no idea what the support means to me. I wish you all the best, and don't be surprised if you hear from me in the future!