Need advice on reconciling with terminally ill parent

[KC's wifey]

Praise God for such a great response.

Amen!

That is wonderful. I know it doesn't erase the past, but I am so happy that you will have some positive closure.

[mrsbabyhead]

Hi ladies, I just wanted to give an update on my dad. We've been emailing short but chatty and pretty nice emails back and forth since I sent the letter. His bladder cancer is back (so he has 3 kinds of cancer going on now ) and he had a heart attack a few weeks ago BUT he is doing pretty well. He walks a few blocks every day and manages to get to church every week. My uncle has been helping him out a lot and he's on chemo for the cancers (to stop major tumor growth, not to treat it).

I think they've got him on some pretty strong drugs because his emails have been much more lucid and less "crazy" which is nice. He's not been verbally abusive or harsh or anything but nice in his emails. I know that often doctors will give terminal patients antidepressants which also have pain relieving benefits so maybe that is it. Thank God, no matter the reason.

[Sakura]

Hi ladies, I just wanted to give an update on my dad. We've been emailing short but chatty and pretty nice emails back and forth since I sent the letter. His bladder cancer is back (so he has 3 kinds of cancer going on now ) and he had a heart attack a few weeks ago BUT he is doing pretty well. He walks a few blocks every day and manages to get to church every week. My uncle has been helping him out a lot and he's on chemo for the cancers (to stop major tumor growth, not to treat it).

I think they've got him on some pretty strong drugs because his emails have been much more lucid and less "crazy" which is nice. He's not been verbally abusive or harsh or anything but nice in his emails. I know that often doctors will give terminal patients antidepressants which also have pain relieving benefits so maybe that is it. Thank God, no matter the reason.

His poor body.

I'm so happy he's been nice in his emails.

[JJorn]

I'm glad that it seems the doctor has his symptoms well controlled. I trust that the Lord is working in his heart, too. What a blessing that you've had a chance to reconcile with your father at some level!

[learningasigo]

I didn't yet read all the posts.

I can speak from experience and from my heart. My father was abusive as well. At 42 (I was 21 the oldest of his 4 kids) he was on his death bed. I did not reconcile with him before his passing. At the time, I was too young, full of emotions and not Christian. I wish that I had.

It took a few years to forgive him after his death. I've now totally made peace with our past relationship and fully reconcile it with myself. I wish I could have said that to him - in so many ways it's not only humbling but powerful. If you decide to do it, it will be a huge relief to you in many ways --maybe even to him.

Good luck. You'll be in my prayers.

[learningasigo]

I just read and didn't realize how old this thread was! :blush:

Thanks for the update. I'm glad the emails have been pleasant between you!

[momofone]

I don't think it was coincidence at all that he survived his heart attack. I feel that he survived it so he could receive your letter and pictures and find some peace...both you and him. God's miracles at work! So glad that things have been civil and I pray that they continue to be. I also pray for your dad that his remaining days here on earth may be painfree and filled with God's love. I am very happy for you!

[mrsbabyhead]

Hi ladies! I have to share this because God has performed a miracle on my dad. He was weeks from dying, on many meds, having a lot of treatment to control the aggressive tumor growth in his bones. I had been talking to him every few days and he was depressed but in good spirits (if that makes sense) but we were having good conversations. Pretty boring and generic conversations but that is better than the conversations we usually have.

Well his tumors are GONE. I have confirmed this with my uncle and 2 doctors so I know that my dad was not lying about his prognosis or his miraculous tumor disappearance. (Which was my first thought when he told me this, and he is not always a sane man so lying is not above him.) He still has cancer but they can't actually find any tumors. They did a PET scan and they were gone. They repeated it 2 times because they thought the machine was broken.

They have not told him he is cancer free - they still are finding cancer cells when they look, but they are not finding the ultra painful bone tumors that most bone cancer patients have.

God is good!

[caligirl07]

Hi ladies! I have to share this because God has performed a miracle on my dad. He was weeks from dying, on many meds, having a lot of treatment to control the aggressive tumor growth in his bones. I had been talking to him every few days and he was depressed but in good spirits (if that makes sense) but we were having good conversations. Pretty boring and generic conversations but that is better than the conversations we usually have.

Well his tumors are GONE. I have confirmed this with my uncle and 2 doctors so I know that my dad was not lying about his prognosis or his miraculous tumor disappearance. (Which was my first thought when he told me this, and he is not always a sane man so lying is not above him.) He still has cancer but they can't actually find any tumors. They did a PET scan and they were gone. They repeated it 2 times because they thought the machine was broken.

They have not told him he is cancer free - they still are finding cancer cells when they look, but they are not finding the ultra painful bone tumors that most bone cancer patients have.

God is good!

That is amazing,

[Sakura]

Hi ladies! I have to share this because God has performed a miracle on my dad. He was weeks from dying, on many meds, having a lot of treatment to control the aggressive tumor growth in his bones. I had been talking to him every few days and he was depressed but in good spirits (if that makes sense) but we were having good conversations. Pretty boring and generic conversations but that is better than the conversations we usually have.

Well his tumors are GONE. I have confirmed this with my uncle and 2 doctors so I know that my dad was not lying about his prognosis or his miraculous tumor disappearance. (Which was my first thought when he told me this, and he is not always a sane man so lying is not above him.) He still has cancer but they can't actually find any tumors. They did a PET scan and they were gone. They repeated it 2 times because they thought the machine was broken.

They have not told him he is cancer free - they still are finding cancer cells when they look, but they are not finding the ultra painful bone tumors that most bone cancer patients have.

God is good!

That's amazing!

[KC's wifey]

Wow!

[JJorn]

Oh, wow! Praise the Lord!

[momofone]

Wonderful news! Hope things continue to heal for both of you!