LDS Moms

[LuTruPeMo]

Oh crap Brandles! I just saw this. Yes, I'm slow. We did go to church while out there, not this past Sunday, but the one before - 15th? We went to whichever ward is part of Leisure World now. It used to be Los Alamitos (when we went with grandma a few years ago) but they changed now and are part of... I forget the name of the ward we went to. It was kind of a smallish ward. The patriarch spoke. Were you there? If you were I am just so mad at myself for not checking APA! Add me to Facebook so an atrocity like this never happens again! (Heather Harper - I'm friends with a lot of APAers so it should pop up for you)

[BrandiB]

Heather glad you guys made it home safe Loved seeing your pictures on facebook, looks like you guys had a good trip

[LuTruPeMo]

How is it no posts since last month??? Everyone busy with the dog days of summer?

[DucksLikeRain]

um...I have only been to church like 2 times in the last 6 months. And for once in my life I actually feel ok with that. I am bewildered as to why John is still EQ Pres and I'm still 1st counselor in the RS Pres. Neither of us are operating in our callings, to be honest, and beyond weekly emails with my RS president I don't think anyone from our ward has even attempted at contacting us since the memorial service we had for Malcolm. John and I are doing ok. We're just sort of in that spot of not feeling like physically going to church is a priority for us right now. We still read scriptures with the girls every night, prayers, etc. But the actual going to church part is so very much taking a back seat for us right now.

[BrandiB]

Tif your not alone in not going. I have seriously only been to my new ward 2 times and we moved here in Jan. Glad that you guys are okay with it. Have you thought about asking to be released? Sometimes is hard to get to church. My issue is I get nervous about being around new people and my husband works every other sunday and we only have one car. The other sundays he's home we have been sick. We seriously have had like 2 colds since moving in and I refuse to send Preston to nursery with a cough.


We leave next saturday for vacation. I'm so super excited! We are only going from saturday until thursday and we are only going to Island Park/Yellowstone. So only 4 hours from home. But I really need to vacation and to get away from home for a while. We are taking camp trailers and planning on spending a few days in Yellowstone and just hanging out and fishing and what not. Really excited

[hpfan04]

Many hugs, Tif. I so feel you, and I don't blame you one bit. Since my miscarriage in November, I just have not been feeling very spiritual at all. I don't really say my prayers or read scriptures anymore. Though we still go to church because DH's family is in the ward and if we didn't show up we'd get flack from them. Otherwise we wouldn't be going very much either.

I just got a new "calling" that I'm not very happy about too. There's an autistic boy in our ward (I think he's 5, maybe 6), and I was just "callled" to be his babysitter. I was so happy in the library. I got to be social and have adult conversations in the library. And now I am basically babysitting a 2 year old - which I do all freaking day, everyday with my own child. Not at all what I wanted. But I felt too guilty to say no when they asked me. Oh, and by the way, our Bishopric doesn't call people based on prayer and inspiration. They just say "Oh that person would be good" and put them there. So I know this isn't an inspired calling. My DH asked the second counselor why they put me with him, because I was really happy in the library and he was like "Oh well, they needed someone and he likes pretty girls, so we thought she'd be good." So not even was it not inspired, but they didn't even base it off of whether I'd be a good fit or not - it was just that I was the only "pretty" one available. I seriously am dreading going to church on Sunday. My DH said to just do it for a few weeks and then say this isn't a good fit for me and ask to be released. But then I feel guilty because the parents are so nice and good people, so I don't want to offend them if I'm suddenly not doing it anymore. Sigh....

Sorry to vent. I just needed to get it out.

That sounds like fun, Brandi! It's been years since I've been to Yellowstone. We are going to my dad's cabin in Colorado for a couple weeks in July to get out of the AZ heat. I'm really excited to see my dad and to just get away. We live right behind DH's family and we see them every.single.day. so it will be so, so nice to get away from them for a while too.

[BrandiB]

Oh wow Kyli they want to be a babysitter? Hmmm weird. I would of turned it down. After asking to be released from the YW I now have no problem saying no to things like that. I hope that it goes better then you expect though.

Have fun on your vacation in CO. You know I've never been there even though I dont live to far away from CO. Guess I need a vacation there!

[DucksLikeRain]

When my brother was 5 (he has pretty significant Aspergers and at age 5 he would have been considered fairly low-functioning) they called a man to essentially be his "babysitter" for the 2 primary hours. It was the best thing that could have happened for him at that point in time. BUT that man was A)older and did not have children of his own at home anymore B) a child psychologist who had actually consulted with my brother's other doctors during their diagnosis stage and C) someone that Beau already had a pretty significant connection with, not some random person from the ward.

Having a one-on-one for primary isn't that uncommon for kiddos on the spectrum. But it should most definitely be done with more consideration that what it sounds like you got slapped with, Kyli!

[LuTruPeMo]

Kyli I'm sorry you got that horrible calling! I would be mad too. I would be fine if they could honestly look me in the eye and say it was inspired and they felt strongly it should be ME. But just to fill a slot... that's not right.

Our bishopric is the other end of that. They want so badly to be sure callings are inspired, they go weeks and weeks (sometimes months) before filling a calling.

[ashers]

We have been to church a few times over the last few months, just havent been very good about making it to our ward :o) Now that I am on bed rest I believe we probably wont be making it any time soon either. I feel so guilty about that but I know I have been doing what I need for me and baby.

Brandi I am so jealous about you going to Yellowstone, my in-laws were in Jackson Hole over the weekend and drove up and around, I love the beauty up there.

[LuTruPeMo]

I do not want to do my calling anymore.

If I just stop, they'll release me, right? (Well maybe not if I'm in Tif's ward, apparently...)

I just found out my dad is in the hospital for the next week with some severe colon issues. He can't eat or drink anything. Should be fun.

[BrandiB]

Ash glad your home from the hospital! Make sure you do that bed rest we want that baby to bake a little while longer. I love Yellowstone as well! We go at least once a year. I just love it up there

Heather sorry to hear that about your dad. I'll be sure to keep him in my prayers.

[LuTruPeMo]

Question. (I sound like Dwight Schrute) Are your female friends mainly LDS or not LDS?

I ask because last weekend I was invited to a girls' night at the home of a lady I know through homeschool co-op. The other ladies there I had known from the co-op too, but I don't see them regularly anymore because we don't do co-op anymore. Anyway, it was so extremely fun. (So fun in fact, I ended up forgetting what time it was and my poor husband was riddled with anxiety when I was out past 11 p.m. )

I realized I had way more fun with them than I do with my LDS friends. And we weren't doing anything naughty. No one was drinking or smoking or anything. There was an instance of an off-color story a woman told about her husband's penis turning blue on their honeymoon and they had to rush to the ER (turned out to be a side effect of some aspirin she'd given him). It was hilarious though.

[DucksLikeRain]

I hope your dad comes out of this all ok and that resting his body does the trick

I don't have all that many lady friends anymore-definitely none in my ward! If I think of my 3 closest friends, 2 are LDS and one is not. But the one that isn't is my very very best friend. Doesn't matter that she's not LDS. She and I met when I was taking my break from church and so we forged our bond over activities that neither of us partake of any longer. But I think having been able to stick together through that and then walking away from it has let us stay as good of friends.

The other two are LDS. One of them very molly-Mormon, lives in Salt Lake, and we are honestly the most bizarre matchup, but it works. The other one I have known since we were 3 and 4, our mothers are best friends and she was my one friend from high school that still made efforts to keep in contact when I was sleeping around, drinking my heart out, etc. She would come to town and hang out at the bar with me-even though she didn't drink. She'd get up and sing karaoke with me stone-sober while I was sloppy drunk. She's just one of those tried and true friends and being LDS isn't a part of that, it's just a small detail of who she is within our friendship.

[BrandiB]

Yes most of my friends are LDS. I seriously only have one friend who is not. She lives in Nevada and I see her when we are traveling through to CA to see DH's family. We were super close in high school then our junior year she moved to NV and my parents would take me there over the weekend and I would stay with her. We used to do a lot together.
My very best friend is LDS she lives 1.5 hours away. Not that its a long way but I never make it up there to see her and she comes down to see family so thats when I get to see her. We've been friends since we were in the 5th grade.
But like I said most of my friends are LDS but not active. I dont really care, we dont talk about church. Only once in a while, and I have no friends in my ward, of course it doesnt help that I've been to it twice. I have no friends from my old ward, they were all a lot older then me or my mom's age.

[hpfan04]

Thanks for letting me vent the other day, ladies. I feel a little bad about being so upset by this new calling, but it's just not for me, and they just kind of threw me into it. And church really is my only outside interaction, so it's like the last thing I want to do when I finally have a few hours without a child clinging to me, I don't want to spend chasing around another child, you know? Yesterday I just wanted to cry in frustration because he ran away from me and I had to chase him. I just do not do that. I lose it when children run from me, nothing makes me angrier. My DH had to get him and help me with him the rest of church. I am just not the person for this job. I know, I am the idiot that said yes to this. So I think I'm going to try it for a couple more weeks and see if I can make a connection with him, and if I can't I will just have to ask them to release me.

Hugs, Heather! I hope everything will turn out okay with your dad.

As far as friends go, all my friends are LDS mainly because, like I said, I don't have any outside interaction other than church. But when I worked and interacted with other people, I honestly felt like I got along better with non-LDS people. Maybe it's because I have an off-color sense of humor and most of the LDS people I know are prim Molly Mormons.

[LuTruPeMo]

Kyli how did church go this Sunday?

I am so ready to ask to be released. I feel terrible doing that. I really do. I just hate my calling so much. I have hated it from the start, and it's been like a year and a half now.

I had hoped it was like one of those things, where, you put yourself into it, and then the love comes. Like exercise, or reading scriptures... sometimes you don't feel like doing it, but if you try and do it, you will enjoy it. I've tried, and I still do not enjoy this calling. I hate going to church because I know I'll have to deal with stuff related to my calling. I am responsible for a personal progress themed mutual activity next month and can barely come up with any ideas. I had ONE idea which I emailed to the presidency to get their feedback, and none of the three of them responded at all, so I can only assume they think it's lame. I hate our presidency meetings because invariably there will be something said at which I will have to bite my tongue. Like snarky things about the girls, or about how much a decent house costs, or homeschooling, or the way I parent. I'm so tired of turning the other cheek. I'm out of cheeks!

I should just do it. I am thinking I will do it when the YW president is out of town (all of July). I'll send her an email and the bishop a separate email. The first counselor was supposed to move this summer and I'd hoped that would mean a change of presidency altogether, but now she's not moving, so I don't think anything will happen.

[ashers]

I am sorry that you are struggling so much with your calling Heather, I would talk with your Bishop about your feelings. I have had one calling that I have truly hated, and I wish I would have expressed how I was feeling instead of it driving me mad. I hope that you can figure everything out.

I have told you ladies before how we do not feel comfortable in our ward at all. There is only a few sisters that I even communicate with. One of those sisters I email back and forth weekly if not on a daily basis, I let her know that Kenzie came early and she had it announced in Relief Society, which doesnt bother me, but didnt change the fact that I didnt expect to hear from anyone else in the ward. Last Thursday though the compassionate service leader called to see if they could bring in two dinners, just two dinners no 'is there anything you need help with' or 'do you need a ride anywhere' or 'can we bring you anything else', it was simply as a ward we bring two dinners. I accepted for them to bring one dinner in tonight, we had family that had taken care of other dinners for us. Well 5 PM rolled around, then 6, then 7, then 8 and we still hadnt heard from anyone about dinner. It makes me mad that I finally humbled myself enough to admit that I could use some help and that I could give someone the change to serve me and then nothing happens. We hadnt made any other plans for dinner, hadnt pulled anything out of the freezer, it just makes me mad, and really peeves my DH and makes him want to avoid this ward even more.

[hpfan04]

Oh Heather. I honestly think you should ask to be released. If it is making you hate church and dread going each week, then I definitely agree you should ask to be released. You tried - for a year and a half you tried - and it just isn't working out for you. Plus the other ladies in the presidency...well, they sound like rhymes-with-witches, to be honest, and you don't really click with them. So I wouldn't feel guilty at all about asking to be released. I'd tell the Bishop how you feel - that you've given it your best and you just aren't feeling it's the right fit for you. I'm sure he'd understand. Hugs!!!

Ashley!!! I didn't even know you had your baby!! She is darling!! And what a good size for being 5 weeks early! Good job baking her, momma! Congrats!!! Sorry about your ward though - that stinks. Is it mostly a young ward or maybe a lower-income ward? The only reason I can think of that nobody would sign up to bring you dinners is that they are either young and forgetful or they don't have money to make extra dinner?? IDK, I'm reaching here, and just hoping that they're not all just self-absorbed, I guess. Or you just have a really crappy relief society presidency and compassionate service leaders.

As for me... I ended up telling the bishopric I couldn't do it. I feel a little guilty, but the only reason I survived the last three weeks is because my DH was helping me. I tried to be nice and loving to him, but he needs someone a little more firmer and someone who can take him when he gets physical or can chase him if he runs off. I'm not strong enough or fast enough for that. And I just never made a connection with him, he didn't like me - wouldn't even talk to me or look at me. But when he saw my DH, his eyes would light up and he would hug DH. I don't necessarily think it wasn't because I didn't give it enough time to make a connection based on him connecting with my DH in that short time, I just think I really wasn't the right person. And this Sunday, I had my back turned for a few seconds answering a question from another primary teacher - and he just took off, ran outside and halfway around the building before I could catch up with him. Even though I was already going to ask to be released, that was pretty much the last straw for me. So I just told the Bishopric that I'm sorry, but I tried and I'm not the right person. They know what a tough case he is, so they understood.

Thank goodness they never released me from the library, so I can go back in there after I get home from vacation. I liked hiding out in the library and being social with the people that came by.

[EvandAl]

Hey Ladies! I'm still around, mostly stalking from my phone though!

Ashley congrats McKenzie! I agree she was a great size for being so early!

Big hugs to those struggling. I've been there a bit lately too. Just in a spiritual rut I guess. I've just been going through the motions at church each week. Although on the way to church last week I had a nice spiritual experience that really just lifted me up and so far still has me going.

I have to say that it's been really hard to do my best in my calling because Alan is not super excited to go to Nursery. I can only get him to go and stay in there if the regular leader is there, but she goes on Vacation A LOT. With her he will cry as I'm leaving but within a minute he stops. Anyone else he will just keep screaming and I'm just not one of those moms that can leave him like that.

I am super excited though that they are switching our blocks around. Right now we have primary first and Sacrament last and more and more I find myself just leaving because I am mentally done. But starting this Sunday Sacrament will be first so I will be fresh and ready!

[BrandiB]

Heather I would asked to be released. I had to ask when I was in the YW's because I felt like there was no need for me and I just took role.

Ashley I cant believe your ward. That is so sad. I read what you wrote to my DH and he said he remembers when his mom had babies his ward would bring in meals for a week. I'm sorry you didnt get meals yesterday. I find it super sad . When I had DS our RS presidancy came and seen him and brought a blanket they had made. I did not want any meals because we lived with my parents and they took care of that. With the ward I'm in now when I had my gall bladder surgery I received 3 meals of course 2 of them were the same thing but at least I received something.

Kyli glad you told them that you could not do that job anymore.

Alison it makes it super hard to take anyone to nursery if there is not a consistant leader in there. My DS had a hard time with that because every other sunday in our old ward it was someone new. They had 2 sets of teachers and switched sundays. We are now in a ward that has sacrament first and I find it much better then having it last

[LuTruPeMo]

I have told you ladies before how we do not feel comfortable in our ward at all. There is only a few sisters that I even communicate with. One of those sisters I email back and forth weekly if not on a daily basis, I let her know that Kenzie came early and she had it announced in Relief Society, which doesnt bother me, but didnt change the fact that I didnt expect to hear from anyone else in the ward. Last Thursday though the compassionate service leader called to see if they could bring in two dinners, just two dinners no 'is there anything you need help with' or 'do you need a ride anywhere' or 'can we bring you anything else', it was simply as a ward we bring two dinners. I accepted for them to bring one dinner in tonight, we had family that had taken care of other dinners for us. Well 5 PM rolled around, then 6, then 7, then 8 and we still hadnt heard from anyone about dinner. It makes me mad that I finally humbled myself enough to admit that I could use some help and that I could give someone the change to serve me and then nothing happens. We hadnt made any other plans for dinner, hadnt pulled anything out of the freezer, it just makes me mad, and really peeves my DH and makes him want to avoid this ward even more.

Well, first off, CONGRATS! What a little doll!

Second...ugh. I feel like I could have written that about the two meals. When I was pregnant with Penny, every week the RS email would say "if you are expecting, let Sister So-and-So know so we can celebrate with you and tell us how we can help!" So after she was born (and Truman was 13 months and Lucy barely 4 and my husband working FT and in grad school FT and we had NO family nearby) I emailed that sister and told her I'd had my baby, and it'd be great if we could get dinner every other night for the first little while. This is what our previous ward did when the first two were born - dinner every other night for about the first two weeks (we'd cook or have leftovers on the other nights - it was a huge relief!). Well, she informed me that they only "do two meals unless you had a c-section." And those 2 meals are assumed to come from your visiting teachers, so unless they can't or won't, pretty much the RS does nothing. Seriously it was a horrible experience for me. I was so depressed. But, I told my VTs about it and they were livid, and the two of them arranged for a bunch of meals for us, so we were taken care of. And the RS president felt really bad about it. She said the two meals thing was kind of their standard because there are SO MANY babies born in that ward (college students), but that they needed to adjust it because they assume that moms or mothers-in-law come to help out, or husbands are ONLY in school, not school plus work, or you are having your first baby, not having 2 others at home already. So, she admitted it was a flawed system.

So I guess some good came out of it for someone after me, but for me, it sucked.

But you have a pretty baby, so who cares about them. They're the ones who won't get the blessing of serving others!

[LuTruPeMo]

I got tickets for me and DH to go see the recording of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me tonight in Nashville. It's about a 2.5 hour drive. My niece is coming over to stay with our kids. She has a 14 month old little guy too. I hope it goes okay. We're leaving at 4 p.m., so she'll have an hour til dinner (I pre-ordered pizza to be delivered at 5), and then we got a movie, and then it'll be near 7 and she can start dressing them for bed. So really it shouldn't be too bad. We won't get home til like 1 a.m. probably (yikes!). I am nervous, but also SO FREAKING EXCITED!
DH and I really need a diversion. He's been so cranky with work and stuff.

[BrandiB]

Hope you have fun Heather!

Whats everyones plans for the 4th of July?
My husband works this weekend so Preston and I are going camping with my parents. My husband is working graveyard shift so I wouldnt see him anyway. We leave tomorrow afternoon and come home monday. My husband has monday night off so I dont know what we will do. Hopefully see some fireworks

[LuTruPeMo]

Is 'hopefully see some fireworks' a euphemism for something Brandi?

We will go to our neighbors' back yard Sunday night to watch our little town's fireworks show. We live right on the river, but their back yard is ON the river (our house faces the river). It's a great view and you can't beat the traffic. ;)

Monday we are going to French Lick, IN (doesn't that sound naughty?) to ride an old train and they do a mock robbery in the middle of it - guns and horses and everything. Should be pretty fun. Monday night we're getting together with our neighbors to do some home fireworks.

[DucksLikeRain]

Heather-have you seen the music video parody of Katy Perry's song? Your comment totally made me think of that. John's obsessed with Katy Perry's music

We are putting out tent up out at my parents' on Sunday and will probably go to the big fireworks show their town has on the 3rd. Then we'll have a little parade that the girls are putting on-all two of them-before we might head to the next town over for a parade and definitely will take Dad's boat out on the river since summer seems to FINALLY have arrived here in Oregon!

[ashers]

Thanks for all the congrats on McKenzie, we sure do love her and its been fun to see her change these past few weeks. We are very blessed that she was such a good size for being so early, makes me scared to think of what she could have been had she baked til her due date! :o)

I am so glad I am not alone in being a little peeved about the whole dinner fiasco, Kyle is still not happy with it and not wanting to go back to this ward at all. The ward is a good mix of old and young, there are a lot of apartments but the core of the ward is established housing of people who have been there forever. I just dont really care anymore about the whole situation.

Our plans for the 4th are kind of up in the air, my parents are out of town so we dont have to worry about having to visit them, so we will probably spend time with Kyle's family. They want us to go swimming Monday afternoon, but I cant get in the pool and Kenzie shouldn't be out in the sun that long so we will just have to see. We were going to try and avoid fireworks but the more we think about it, its not going to be possible since so many areas around us are shooting them off this year, so it will be an adventure to see how Kenzie reacts to them.

[EvandAl]

We don't have any plans here.

Evan works all weekend and Monday, so it's just basically a normal weekend for us. On Monday we will have a vistor though. My friends little boy is coming to hang with us for the day since daycare is closed. He is the same age as John and they are best friends. The boys have a blast when he's here all day so I'm looking forward to it.

[LuTruPeMo]

I am so irritated right now. It's 10:15 a.m. We go to church at 11. I emailed the YW presidency over a week ago with an idea for the personal progress activity I'm in charge of on the 12th. I wanted to know if they thought it was a good idea and would help me out. NO ONE HAS RESPONDED. Okay. So now it's the first of the month and I need to pass out the YW newsletters. But the president has the assignment of doing the 'message' this month and I emailed her yesterday to remind her, and no response today. So I'm not going to do a newsletter that basically just tells the girls to come to church on Tuesday nights in July. They already know that.

Also none of them responded to my newsletter message - I asked if they had any 'good news moment' type stuff about the girls I could include.

I'm so tired of this calling.

Maybe we're all getting released and I'm the last to know and that's why they haven't responded. That'd be pretty sweet.

[BrandiB]

Heather just ask to be released. I totally would.

I got home from camping this afternoon and I'm exhausted so no fireworks show tonight for us. My husband works in the morning so I'm really thinking bed sounds good. I went camping without my husband because he worked all weekend and so I went with my parents. I will never do that again. It was fun and enjoyable but Preston asked several times a day for his dad. It was just to hard on him to be away from him.