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Thread: LDS Moms

  1. #1291
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    Our young women aren't "allowed" to charge for babysitting for the Temple or for things like adult sessions of stake conference, meetings, etc. Not allowed might be a bit over the top, but none of the parents will let them take money-and each of the girls are the ones to say that they won't so it's not just that their parents won't let them. Our YW presidency spends a lot of time talking about how it's a service and it can be the difference between some of the parents in the ward making it to the temple or not (having a willing and free babysitter vs not). That said...I think it's been about 2 years since we have had any of the YW babysit. Not for any real good reason, I just always feel like they are always posting on facebook about their social life and etc and then there's the random "I have to watch so-and-so's kids tonight instead of going to the movies" and I sure don't want to be that so-and-so that probably pays crappy (and doesn't know it!) and is hindering their life

    I haven't seen the RS broadcast-I was flying home from vacation when it went on. I'm almost afraid to watch it because I've heard over and over and over at church yesterday how it was just what everyone needed to hear...and honestly, I don't think I WANT to hear what I need to hear. I'm in such a funk and it really stinks. I did renew my Temple Rec. yesterday. I haven't been in probably a year. Not because I'm "not going to the Temple" but because I'm just...not making it there. How many times I've met John up there for ward temple night after he gets off work (it's almost and hour away and so he doesn't come home first) and one or the other of us-or both of us-has a migraine, or I'm pregnant and whatever comes along with that. I told the stake president yesterday that I think we're at a point where we each jsut need to decide to go, and do it-and some of the times maybe we'll go together. I've never gone alone and honestly, it terrifies me to go alone. Not sure why.

    I'm in a real bad icky place right now emotionally and spiritually. My due date was last Monday. I was hoping and praying that I would get a BFP that day-somehow I thought it would help that day be a bit better. Instead it was a BFN and my period started. On vacation. On my due date. On the day I got a BFP with Keira. It all just hit me super hard-and typing it all out it just seems so dumb!

    And then at church yesterday I had no less than 4 people do the "How are you doing?" I'm fine. "Really? Are you REALLY ok? You look....well, how are you REALLY doing?" routine. Which just gets old. I know I look tired. I AM tired. All the time. I don't sleep well, I have crazy kids with crazy schedules, oh, and did I mention that we just got back from a week vacation late on Saturday night and had 9am church? But of course I burst into tears every time anyone pushes that with me. I know they mean well, but seriously, if I say I'm fine, leave me alone!

    At our monthly RS meeting (we call it ALOT which is A Little of This, A Little of That) on the 14th I had some super insensitive comments made to me (I posted in Ranting about it). Things like asking me if I was pregnant-or rather coming right out and saying that they figured I was because I was looking like it. And responses to that by someone else saying that they can't believe John and I would try to have another baby. And then yet another girl asking me "so what's wrong with your girls, anyway? I've been wanting to know but haven't wanted to just come right out and ask"

    Things like this make me just want to crawl in a hole. I know it's just people. But when you're around these people week in and week out it can be so very hard to see through the people to the center of why we go. And honestly, right now the only reason I go is because I feel a sense of responsibility since I'm in the RS presidency, and because the girls know when we don't go and ask why and complain if it's been too many weeks in a row without going. Which I guess is as good a reason as any for right now. As long as I can figure a way to get me out of this funk.

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  2. #1292

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    Hugs Tif!!! I can't imagine what it is like fore you each week. I know it's hard to go though when you don't have some there that helps make it better. if that makes any sense.

    Thanks for not giving me crap about the garments girls. I've personally been feeling more and more guilt about it. Because while I have the rule that I just won't wear them when he's off it ends up being more often than that. I also don't wear them to the gym. I mostly run and couldn't imagine doing long distances in them. I get really hot when I run. I think I'm going to really push myself to make an effort to put them on more and remind myself of who I am.

    I'm in a big funk lately and finding myself more and more depressed. It's so many little things that just keep weighing me down more and more. I've almost asked to be released from my calling in Primary like 3 times but when i get to church each week I really feel the spirit telling me I'm where I belong. So that makes me think someone else is putting the idea in my head. I'm afraid if I get released I'll slowly start missing church and go back inactive. I really wish I had more of a church support. I think I need to call my MIL for a chat. She is awesome and is always willing to talk me through things and I know it would comfort me.
    I just feel like my DH is totally going the opposite way. A few month ago I found out he is smoking at work = shocked! He never smoked always hated it. I smoked when we met and started again when I went inactive. But quit when I got pregnant and would now NEVER think of going back to it. He still drinks on occassion too. I used to keep telling myself it was more his work schedule that kept him away but now my bubble has been burst and I know that he isn't there because he doesn't want to be and it just makes my heart hurt. I want the man I'm sealed to to live up to that blessing.

    Sorry ladies, i'm having a ruff night and I know this post makes no sense, my mind is jumping all over the place.

    Me = Alison, DH = Evan, DS #1 = John 09/05/06, DS #2 = Alan 07/21/09


    http://majorosfamily.blogspot.com/

  3. #1293

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    oh Alison, that's so hard. I'm sorry. I go to church mostly by myself with my daughter because my husband is a police officer and works odd schedules so either he is working during church or needs to sleep so he can go to work later. Its hard being there by yourself but maybe your going will set a good example for him. Call and put his name in the temple too and see if that helps. I'm sorry, I wish there was more I could do.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Britney (me), DH (Mat), DD (Lily), DD (Gwyn)

  4. #1294

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    You ladies make me feel like my problems are so inconsequential - which is true, they really are, and I think I need the wake-up call sometimes. At times I dread going to church because I think no one likes me, I don't have any friends, or I get mad that a pregnant woman (admittedly she's only seven weeks, but still...) was mistaken for me by the ward clerk. Geez Heather, get over yourself.

    Tif I'm so sorry those ladies are morons.

    Alison I think you have to do whatever works for your marriage, in regard to garments. I'm sorry that Evan is making bad choices. I don't know how I'd respond in that situation. You have to be loving and be the good example, but I can only imagine how difficult that must be.

  5. #1295

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    Tif and Alison.

    My brother came home today. His flight came in early, so nobody was there to greet him for a few minutes. But eventually we got to him. Then at my parents house we ended up sitting around while James and my mom talked with neighbors. We had about 5mins of just family time before his old companion came, and they spent the rest of the night talking in a language none of us knew. He pretty much ignored everyone but my mom and his old comp the whole night.
    So I'm happy he is back, and I know eventually he'll talk to his siblings. But I'm kind of like "FAIL little brother. You saw this guys for weeks ago, you saw us two years ago."
    Overall I'm happy, tired, and hoping after some time to adjust he'll want to talk to his brothers and sister again. Look like my anxiety was for nothing...which is how it always is with my anxiety problems.

    "We cannot withhold facts for fear of offending because the importance of the information outweighs people's right to not be challenged in their beliefs." -Maddy Reid
    In memory of all APA babies gone too soon; always loved and never forgotten

  6. #1296
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    Shannah-when my brother came home from Japan he made no real secret of the fact that he "just wanted to go back." He was borderline rude to the family, obsessing about Japan and how much "better"the people there were and how much better the country itself was. It was ridiculous. He was living with us at the time because my parentshad moved down here to Oregon while he was gone and we were renting the house that he and I had grown up in. I had gotten married to a guy he'd never met before and had a baby while he was in his mission. John finally took. Cori aside and had a huge talk with him about A)not disrespecting JOHN'S home by being such a moron about how horrible it was to be there and B)about how he now had the challenge of figurin out how to balance his mission life and habits with his post mission life and habits and that while it us hard, it is absolutely essential that he figure it out because the bottom line was that he no longer was a missionary and with that calling being released some very specific duties and expectations left him also.

    John was a bit harsh to Cori, especially considering they'd only met days earlier but he also was the only one of us not on eggshells around him. To this day Cori will talk about it in appreciation and has told me that he has an immense amount of respect for John because of his willingness and ability to sort of snap him out of things. I know it's probably different down there where it's so flooded with return missionaries and all, maybe no one expects them to re-enter the world very quickly but is there someone-in the family or an old friend if his-that would be good to have a reality check talk with him if he keeps that sort of isolation/avoidance up? I'm glad he did at least talk to your mum. But something like a companion really should have waited at least until the weekend!
    Last edited by DucksLikeRain; 10-01-2010 at 06:58 AM.

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  7. #1297

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    I've been LDS for 13 years now... and I am really embarrassed to admit, I don't even know where to get garments. I guess I've never really been told what purpose they serve.... (although it's pretty obvious...) so needless to say, my DH and I haven't been sealed in the temple yet. Which is something I am aggressively working on right now... I haven't drank a drop of alcohol since April. I've quit smoking as of 4 days ago. AND DH finally doesn't have to work weekends anymore so we can attend church regularly..Slowly but surely things are falling into place, and I'm getting where I would like to be in life. It's been a loooooong process of trying to make the right choices and steer clear of the not so right ones...

  8. #1298

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shanna(h) View Post
    So I'm happy he is back, and I know eventually he'll talk to his siblings. But I'm kind of like "FAIL little brother. You saw this guys for weeks ago, you saw us two years ago."
    I'm sorry your brother was a douche. Okay that's mean. Now you can be mad at me and not him! Seriously though, I have heard it's incredibly hard to adjust to being home from a mission, even a US mission. My husband felt totally whacked for about a week after he got back. He called me and a bunch of other people he knew from the mission the NIGHT HE GOT HOME. I never really thought about how that made his family feel, but now that you brought it up, it does seem like it was sort of rude to them. I can imagine it'd be a lot worse if he'd been speaking another language for the previous two years.

    Amy - Good luck on your journey back. It's not easy but it's worth it right? Will you be able to see any of general conference this weekend? We will probably watch some here and there tomorrow on TV (in between Saturday activities the kids have), and then Sunday morning we'll dress up and go to the church for the morning session. We usually try to watch Sunday afternoon at home and end up snoring.

  9. #1299

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    I am actually going to a wedding tomorrow. Church is going to be normal this Sunday isn't it? I went last Sunday and didn't stay very long because my kids were uncomfortable in the fold up chairs. That's all that were left when I got there. I didn't know it was conference so I went @ regular time... 11:00 am talk about embarrassing... lol.

  10. #1300
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    Good luck on making some changes in yours-and your family's-life, Amy. This weekend-Saturday and Sunday-is General Conference so church times are all wonky. I know we have 9-11 and 1-3 sessions both days but in Utah it's 10-12 and 2-4. Not sure how they do it for other time zones.

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  11. #1301

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    I know that, at least in Utah, comcast cable has all the conference talks for free on demand. You can watch talk by talk or session by session. I also think you can watch it online live or anytime at LDS.org. So if you want to catch what you miss on Saturday it will be pretty easy to do so.

    Today my brother spent the whole day with my mom, until about 4. Then they finally came home and all my siblings were off work/out of school and instead of staying home he went to "hang out" with a 17yr old girl he knew before his mission, then came home and immediately went back out with his old comp. All the siblings actually think that he is purposely avoiding us because we are all so spiritually beneath him, even my younger brother and sister who are really active in church, but still "worldly" don't seem good enough for him. It's sad because my 16yr old sister feel this way the most, and she already beats herself up all the time for "not being good enough". If my sister still feels this way after the weekend and James is still acting this way I will probably have to talk to him.
    It is nice to know this is kind of normal rm behavior.

    "We cannot withhold facts for fear of offending because the importance of the information outweighs people's right to not be challenged in their beliefs." -Maddy Reid
    In memory of all APA babies gone too soon; always loved and never forgotten

  12. #1302

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    We're in the central time zone and conference is 11-1 and 3-5 today and tomorrow. Priesthood session is tonight 7-9pm.

  13. #1303
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    Well my SIL came home tuesday from her mission. I cried like a baby when she came down the stairs! It was soooo good to see her! We had a good long talk one of the days we were there, I think it was thursday. She was released wednesday and the stake president talked about the "let down" of course he ment it more spiritualy but when we talked to her and just her no one else it was good to know that she was feeling the same way my husband felt when he came home off his mission. They both came home to a messy house, and they both hated being there. Needless to say she plans on coming out here the end of the month with one of her old companions to see how she likes it here and possibly will be staying. She plans on staying with us until she has decided. I'm excited, I think she'll like it here! Its been an interesting week to say the least!

    Oh and didnt watch conference while we were there. We went into the bay area instead so I could see a friend and do a Scentsy party for her and we drove home sunday.



  14. #1304

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    I heart the bay area. Fortunately DH's sister (my fave in his family) lives there so we have a place to stay for free whenever we visit. How fun that you got to go! And that's really fun about your SIL coming to visit.

  15. #1305
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    Heather we were in Newark, we werent there long enough to enjoy the area. But a few years ago we spent a couple days in San Fran and I LOVED it there. Dont want to ever live there but loved to vacation there!



  16. #1306

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    Agreed. Who can afford to LIVE there??? I don't know how anyone does.

  17. #1307
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    Oh I agree I do not know either. My husband is from Citrus Heights just outside of Sacramento, my MIL pays over $900 a month for a small apartment, 2 bedroom 1 bath. Super small kitchen, here if your paying $900a month its on a house. My brother pays less then that in his mortgage. Its crazy expensive there.



  18. #1308

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    DH's sister and her husband live in a 1100 square foot, 2 bed/1 bath house with a teeny tiny yard and no off-street parking. It cost over $500,000. They do have a slight view of the bay, but it's pretty far away and you can't see it if it's foggy (which is a lot of the time!). Here, the same house would cost like $75,000 at most.

    But, it's a fun place. They love it there. We love to visit!

    So, did anyone have faves from conference???

  19. #1309

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    Boyd Packer and President Uchtdorf
    Last edited by AmyM; 10-05-2010 at 02:09 PM. Reason: added a talk

  20. #1310
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    Thats crazy Heather. Most people I know can not afford a house there. Most everyone there rents.

    I didnt get to listen to conference. I will read it when the Ensign comes out.



  21. #1311
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    So I'm looking for a Halloween costume. I wanted to try finding a Queen of Hearts costume for me, and Alice for Becca. Well, I'm probably giving up on that idea. It is SO difficult to find a modest costume for a woman! And those that are cost WAY too much. I guess I can try making a costume. I'm fair at following a pattern..
    Brittany, mommy to Boo and Bean, and Bear makes three!

  22. #1312
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazylittlered View Post
    So I'm looking for a Halloween costume. I wanted to try finding a Queen of Hearts costume for me, and Alice for Becca. Well, I'm probably giving up on that idea. It is SO difficult to find a modest costume for a woman! And those that are cost WAY too much. I guess I can try making a costume. I'm fair at following a pattern..
    Good luck finding the costumes that you need. I dont dress up for Halloween but I still have yet to find one for Preston. I think Heather makes her own costumes if I remember right?



  23. #1313

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazylittlered View Post
    So I'm looking for a Halloween costume. I wanted to try finding a Queen of Hearts costume for me, and Alice for Becca. Well, I'm probably giving up on that idea. It is SO difficult to find a modest costume for a woman! And those that are cost WAY too much. I guess I can try making a costume. I'm fair at following a pattern..
    I'm going to be the queen of hearts too!!! How funny is that. I thought we were doing a whole Alice theme but now I'm the only one. :/ Darn kids and their free agency....

  24. #1314

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    We had stake conference with Elder Andersen yesterday and today. It was so great! Also Robert Gay from the Seventy was here. He was amazing too. Elder Andersen was so funny last night @ the adult session. We hired a sitter so we could both go.

    Funny story, today as stake conference was about to start, I felt like our stake president and Elder Andersen were looking right at me, whispering to each other, and smiling. I was seriously starting to get freaked out... Then after a couple of talks, the stake president stood up and said, "Now some of you should feel very nervous. Elder Andersen has asked that I call three people up here to bear their testimonies..." and the third name he said was the woman sitting right in front of me! I was so relieved.

  25. #1315
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    Oh Heather I bet you were relieved. I would of been too. I get so super nervous infront of people. When I'm asked to say the prayer I always say no I get so nervous I get super sick to my stomach. Glad that you had such a good stake conference!



  26. #1316
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    I have to give a talk on Sunday and have been avoiding even thinking about it for the past week. Was so excited to have 2 weeks notice instead of the normal 3 or 4 days that our bishopric gives...and here I sit not even wanting to think about it.

    "Strength From Weaknesses"...anyone have any great thoughts, talks, articles to point me towards? This is one of those talks that I KNOW is something I need...but something that at the same time I don't want to look too closely at myself for, if that makes sense?

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  27. #1317

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    Quote Originally Posted by DucksLikeRain View Post

    "Strength From Weaknesses"...anyone have any great thoughts, talks, articles to point me towards? This is one of those talks that I KNOW is something I need...but something that at the same time I don't want to look too closely at myself for, if that makes sense?
    My first thought is how, when we have struggled with some particular issue, and overcome it, we have that knowledge and experience to share with someone in a similar circumstance. The example of smoking comes to mind. I used to smoke, and I know how freaking hard it is to stop smoking, but eventually, I was able to do it, and do it for good. Now, it gives me much more patience and understanding for those who struggle to give it up (before I thought of them as weak-willed or unwilling). Another example is sexual sin. If you want to go there. David and I had issues with the law of chastity before we were married. He was on probation (or whatever they call it - bishop court, etc) and it wasn't decided until ONE WEEK before our wedding whether we'd be able to go ahead with it or not. It was horribly stressful. But we made it, took advantage of the Atonement, counseled with our bishop every single week for months, and we did it. Then a few months later, a couple moved into our ward. They were unmarried (boyfriend/girlfriend) and living in student housing and going to the university near us. We hung out with them a lot. Then they told us that the boyfriend had been sleeping at the girlfriend's house because his roommates were wild and crazy. So because of our experience, we were able to share with them how they shouldn't do it (specifically, not just "you shouldn't do that") and we offered for the guy to stay with us when his roommates got too crazy. So that's my two examples of having strength from weaknesses. Good luck with your talk!

  28. #1318
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    So I got my pathetic talk all written. I don't know why I have such a hard time writing a talk every time! I know it isn't 20 minutes like it's supposed to be (high councilmen Sunday). Mine never are but usually it doesn't matter because John goes after me and can easily give a very engaging and enlightening 90 minute talk if given the chance!

    BUT...I'm not going to church today. I had a minor surgery done on my neck 12 days ago and last night it got tender. This morning it's opened up and is obviously infected-pus and blood oozing out and it's so super painful unless I'm lying down. So John has the girls at church and is supposed to be giving my talk. Luckily I always write my talks out-word for word-because I have a hard time going off of notecards/ideas written down. I hope he embellishes it, although he said he won't because it's MY talk and not his And poor Scharae...I'm really hoping the one sister at church that I could see being a help for her is there. She's a wreck about me not being there. But they're practicing for the primary program next week so she really kind of HAD to go...

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  29. #1319

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    Well, at least you got out of GIVING the talk, Tif. That's my fear, I can't stand up in front of everyone and speak. I would have no problems writing one, if someone else gave it.

    I hope you feel better soon, Tif.


    Ugh, I agreed to teach Sunday School class next week. I felt too guilty to say no. Thankfully it's only a small class - we started a new class (with approval from the bishopric, though it's not "official") for parents that have kids who aren't in nursery yet, just so our kids can play and be noisy and we don't have to feel embarrassed about it. I think most of the time the parents are occupied watching their kids and not paying much attention to the lesson, so that will be good for me. But I've never taught a lesson older than primary age. I probably will get up there and deliver the lesson like I would for primary.
    Kyli (26) DH (29) Liam (5/13/09) Evette (10/18/12)


  30. #1320

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    Quote Originally Posted by hpfan04 View Post
    Well, at least you got out of GIVING the talk, Tif. That's my fear, I can't stand up in front of everyone and speak. I would have no problems writing one, if someone else gave it.

    I hope you feel better soon, Tif.


    Ugh, I agreed to teach Sunday School class next week. I felt too guilty to say no. Thankfully it's only a small class - we started a new class (with approval from the bishopric, though it's not "official") for parents that have kids who aren't in nursery yet, just so our kids can play and be noisy and we don't have to feel embarrassed about it. I think most of the time the parents are occupied watching their kids and not paying much attention to the lesson, so that will be good for me. But I've never taught a lesson older than primary age. I probably will get up there and deliver the lesson like I would for primary.
    That is a really great idea for a class!


    Tif I hope you are feeling better!
    Me = Alison, DH = Evan, DS #1 = John 09/05/06, DS #2 = Alan 07/21/09


    http://majorosfamily.blogspot.com/

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