Last edited by mattswife; 08-18-2008 at 11:33 AM.
Holly, that'd be awesome! That's a trip I'd even make with my girls and no John (and in fact it's more likely to happen if we leave him OUT of the equation!). Do you know your dates yet? A week day would probably be easiest for us, but not a M/T because K's in preschool. Let me know!
Mom and I are firming up our Holland plans! I'm so stoked. It'll be over GC weekend but we've got DVR so John'll be recording it anyhow. I'm so excited, girls. I went to Europe for the first time in 1997 and made it a goal to go every 2 years after that. And I met that goal. When I got married I moved my goal to be every 5 years...last time I went was spring 2003, so I'm right at that 5 year mark!
My grandma's going to come and stay at my parents' place. John and the girls will go stay out there and John'll go to work from there. My dad's hoping to be able to take the days off work completely-he hasn't taken a day off since March because he works in the agricultural industry. My girls will have so much fun!
Oh, and Holly, we'd totally have to get Jenn together with us, too! I haven't seen her and Stella and Theo since April! Geez...I'd be the shorty out of the mama's on that meet up!
Is Jenn super tall like Holly? Poor shortysally....
Yeah I don't see us making the trip to Seattle for Backyardigans! But definitely let's get together at the zoo or children's museum. Maybe when it's cooled off a little but before it gets too cold? Although actually, so far, August has been AMAZING!!!
I'm going to go email my bishop now. I'm trying to have a positive attitude and have the spirit about it. I'll let you know if anything comes of it.
All right, well this is the email I just sent. What do you think? I tried to leave it open-ended like some ladies suggested in the other thread.
I just wanted to tell you of an experience we had at church yesterday, and see if you have any ideas. As you know, I'm allergic to peanuts and our two youngest haven't been tested yet (their doctor recommended waiting until they are each at least 3 years old). We got everything worked out with primary and nursery and play group, and everything is fine in those areas. We always watch our children really closely any time we're around other people, to make sure they don't pick up some bit of dropped food or beg for snacks from another parent (at the park, the library, everywhere).
But yesterday, towards the end of sacrament meeting, Penelope (who is 17 months old) crawled under the bench in front of us. In the five to ten seconds it took for us to get ahold of her and pull her back to us, she found a piece of a peanut butter sandwich another family had fed their toddler, and shoved it into her mouth. As soon as I picked her up, I could smell it, so I ran with her to the bathroom, pulled it out of her mouth and immediately started wiping out her mouth and wiping off her hands. I had to watch her for some time afterwards, and fortunately, she had no reaction (they say the reaction will occur after the 2nd exposure, so now I need to be more vigilant). However, just having to breathe and touch it for that amount of time, my own throat started to itch and swell. I took some Benadryl and was okay, but for the rest of the day and evening my throat continued to feel tight and sore. (In the past I've only had full-blown reactions from actually ingesting peanuts, but it seems that touching and inhaling it causes some problems as well). Obviously if I'd been thinking clearly I would have had David take care of Penelope, but my immediate response was taking care of her, not myself.
So all of this has me even more worried. I feel so frustrated, like I try so hard to make sure everyone knows about the allergy (and this family who dropped the piece of sandwich even knows about our family's allergy) and I watch them so closely, and then they still find a way to ingest the one thing I'm trying to keep them, and myself, safe from!
Do you have any ideas or suggestions? Honestly, it makes me feel very nervous about sacrament meeting. I know they will be safe in nursery and the people who take care of them are fully aware of the danger to them and to me if they touch or eat peanuts.
I spoke with (another mom) yesterday and she said her son Sam was just diagnosed with a peanut allergy as well. Apparently he had a nasty reaction including hives and a swollen body over this past summer, and she was pretty nervous when I told her what had happened to us during sacrament meeting.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, and please let me know if you do have any ideas. I don't want to create problems or inconvenience any one, but at the same time I want to feel like our family is safe and that I don't have to wrap them in plastic sheeting to come to church.
i think that is a great letter.
Good job Heather, I hope he sees your point and is willing to help you. I think it is not inappropriate to ask for no peanuts to be allowed in the chapel. I know I would feel terrible if I brought something to church and someone's child was hurt because of it. Good luck!
Great email Heather!
Can I fly out and hang out with you guys too HAHA. DH would think I'm nuts
I think that was a great email, but honestly I don't think he's going to have any great ideas for you. I think it'll take you asking him if he has had a chance to think about anything with regards to your email, and if not, ask him if it'd be ok to write up a little informational blurb about allergies and at the end have a request to think twice when packing church snacks and have it put in the bulletin. I think the bulletin is an excellent venue. Most people do peruse it during those inevitable slow times during sacrament meeting, ya know? And that way there's not an announcement over the pulpit, there's not an edict coming down, it's just information and a request. I think it's become obviously how few of us really DO think too much about that kind of thing, both at church and out and about!
Wait, are you tall? If so...I might have to say no on that one. I need a fellow shorty to kick it with
Tif I'm 5'5. I'll hang with you.
Well this is kinda weird. I got an email from the clerk saying that my email to the bishop had been forwarded to him and he wanted to apologize. He, his wife, and little girl were sitting in front of us (and the family in front of them were the ones with the pb sandwich) and he was apologizing for not stopping Penny from eating the food on the floor. Now I feel totally bad! I replied and told him in no way was I angry with him or his wife AT ALL and didn't mean to imply that... I hope he believes me. Then I wondered if the bishop forwarded it to him because he knew they were the ones immediately in front of us (but how on EARTH could he remember that???) or because he forwarded it to everyone in the bishopric and leadership? I'm hoping it was the latter and he's just looking for ideas from them.
I'm only 5'5'' as well so I would be the shorty with you john doesn't get his height from me
Maybe he just forwarded it to all the bishopric and leadership to get their imput as well.
I wish I really could come and meet you guys. For grins and giggles I looked at a ticket, man $350 a person (me and john). So I love ya but not that much
Heather um total slacker here but I finally finished your CD HAHA. I was trying to make it organized and on multiple cd's by "type" but I decided to just do one CD. I'm listening to it now just to make sure I like the flow
so you need to pm me your address so I can pop it in the mail.
Okay you ladies are going to have to deal with my ramblings tonight. DH is at work until 6:30 am and I usually can't fall asleep until like 2 when he's gone.....so I'm sure I will be the LDS post ho
Anyone on, still? I've hit a bit of a tough situation...
So I grew up in the same ward with this girl that got engaged about 1/2 way through our senior year...to an elder that was serving in our ward. They got engaged about 3 weeks after he went home. She and I haven't kept in very good touch, but we've both kept in very close touch with a set of twins from our ward. She was on major bedrest with her 2nd child-hospital at 20 weeks inverted (feet up, head down) and didn't get to go home until 35 weeks. Anyhow, one of these friends of ours gave her my # when I was in the hospital in October. She called literally hours after Taela was born (she didn't know she'd been born yet). She called to sort of commiserate/encourage me on the bedrest situation, which was sweet. It'd been nearly 10 years since we'd seen or spoken. I'd just had my baby whereas she'd gotten to keep hers in. And I was so loopy from the general as well as the morphine I was on. Soooo...long story short, I was probably slightly rude to her. Not intentionally...just yeah.
So 3 weeks ago I got a call from one of those twins again. This time to tell me that Jen had been pregnant with #4 and that her water had broken and she'd delivered her at 22w and a few days. She lived 1/2 an hour. So Janica called me because she thought I'd be a good person for Jen to talk to. Janica made it to the baby's funeral and had some comments that I hope to high heaven she didn't tell to Jen (Janica's 100% lacking in tact. She never means to be rude, but nearly always is. Her twin, on the other hand, is one of my favorite people in the world and is so compassionate and empathetic!). So, she gave me Jen's number. I called her and left a message on her cell just to let her know that I'd heard and I was there to talk when/if she needed. I was slightly happy she didn't pick up because I really didn't know what I would say.
So tonight she called while we were redecorating the girls' room. I didn't pick it up because it was our FHE time. I sort of panicked when I listened to her voicemail. All she said was her name and that she was sorry she hadn't called earlier and that she hoped I'd call her back. Benign enough, right? And I should know what to say to her, right? I mean, of all people I should know. But I have no clue. I had NO ONE to talk to that I felt like should know what to do. Sure the Bishop's wife and the RS pres had lost babies to genetic issues in utero but it wasn't the same, ya know? And my situation is different than hers, too, but very similar. Infection in the placenta, water breaking, the emotions that would arise from that, etc.
So...what do I say? She's active at church, I believe. Her baby did live for 1/2 hour which means she's not in that "gray area" that exists as far as stillborn/miscarriages are with regards to salvation. But what do I say? "I know how you feel" seems so flat. And yet it's the truth. I think. But maybe it's not? I feel like she's going to be looking for some magical answer from me...
Wow Tiff thats a tough one. I think the best thing is to call her back and just let her talk. I think its always good to know that someone went through what you are going through. Though it may be different it is still similar in ways. (if that makes any sense). I think that by you just letting her know that you are there for her to talk probably means a lot to her. Good luck *hugs*.
Tif I would call her back and let whatever words flow that flow.
I am a firm believer that at times like that, it will just come to you Just don't think and dial her number. Even if you just cry together or whatever it will help her!
Well, I called, but she didn't pick it up...I guess that means the ball back in her court. Or maybe I'll call again in a couple days.
at least she knows you tried
Yeah I think if she doesn't call back then maybe the first call-back was just out of being polite, and she's not really ready to talk about it (or she's tired of talking about it maybe).
Update on Bishop Peanut is there is nothing to update. I didn't hear anything today. I hope I hear SOMETHING eventually, yk? But, who knows.
I'm trying to figure out what would be the safest place for us to sit during sacrament meeting to avoid this in the future? What do you ladies think?Our building is old style. Big middle rows, with shorter rows on either side. The shorter side rows are up to the wall so you can't walk around both ends of them, only the aisle end. Then there's a big walkway that runs horizontally through the chapel too (if this makes sense) so that there's like a front-middle section and a back-middle section. So kind of like front-front row where you are right in front of the stand, and back-front row where you are halfway back, people walk back & forth in front of you. We really hate sitting on one side where there are windows and the a/c blasts full-on. It's freezing and hard to see b/c of the glare from the windows.
If the peanut thing really becomes a source of anxiety for you (knowing you and your anxiety!) then I'd sit in the foyer, Heather. We used to sit out there sometimes simply because it was all I could do to make it to church with the girls-there was no way I was going to pretend I could bear to do the chapel with them. Sure, it's not the greatest fix, and actually not great at all as far as Pen and Tru are concerned re: learning to sit through sacrament. But if it was just until January when you move, AND if it allowed you to feel safe and lower-anxiety about being there in general...
Yay I just got my first Ensign in forever and shocker DH is reading it
Well ladies, I'm just about in tears right now. Actually I am in tears. I got a response from the bishop, which he copied the bishopric on, saying basically that they can't (or won't) do anything at all. His only suggestion was that we approach the family who brought the peanut butter sandwich directly and tell them what happened, and then make sure we always sit near other families who know we're allergic so they can help us avoid anyone who may have brought p.b.
This was SO not what I was hoping for. Maybe offer to make an announcement (now there are THREE families in our ward with peanut allergies), or put it in the bulletin, or at least the weekly email that goes out to RS and EQ each week? But no. Nothing.
It really felt like he was implying that I was overreacting and seeing other members as "attackers" (he actually used that word).
I don't think I've ever NOT wanted to go back to church so much. And here I was just the other day telling DH how so many of the LDS ladies I've met online have had a period of inactivity at some point and in my 11 years I never had... well maybe it's my turn. The thing is, I want to be there. But at the same time, I don't want to deal with it any more.
Dang it, I am very sorry. Maybe you should ask him to install a telephone in the chapel instead so when your DD's throat swells shut you can call 911 right away...try that and see what he says. Grrrrrr...I'm sorry but I am upset FOR you.
Awww HUGS Heather! That just plain stinks. I mean the very least he could have done with send it in an email! I mean jeesh what would it hurt?
Talk to the RS president. She's got caveat over the RS bulletin and announcements. Maybe if you and the other two moms in the ward w/ peanut issues approach her together (strength in numbers!) then she'd be willing to make an announcement in RS-geared specifically towards Sunday snacks in the chapel and other areas of the building. Possibly even see if the Primary Pres is willing to do a little announcement, too.I know they've got the whole activities snack thing covered. But possibly making it known that Sunday's an issue, too, would be good?
I'm so sorry that his response was such that you don't want to go back, Heather. I'm still of the staunch belief that our "times" wax and wane and that's OK. The hard part is waxing again. The problem with allowing yourself to take a hiatus...it's so so so hard to go back, Heather. It really is. AND most of us would probably tell you that our hiati (is that the plural for hiatus? Like Octopi?) are not guilt-free. The more-than-one that I've taken in my 20 years of membership have not been the easy way out that I thought/hoped they'd be! They were guilt-racked years and months.
So...if you do feel necessary to miss church on sundays, at least until you move in January, make sure you're not missing scripture study, FHE, any mid-week activities that you can make it to. Don't make it about the Bishop not doing anything. Make it about keeping your children safe, ok?
Last edited by DucksLikeRain; 08-23-2008 at 09:24 AM.