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Thread: LDS Moms

  1. #1801

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    Well you know what I'm going to say (castor oil). Guess it depends on how desperate you get, though. I was pretty desperate to have Penny on a certain weekend because we were trying to have her be born in the city where my parents live rather than where we were living because we had no family and few friends there. I hope she comes soon!

    Primary pianist? Ick. I dont play piano but I don't imagine I'd enjoy that calling much either. I'm kind of sour about primary though. I come home in tears every week.

    This week, NONE of the children who were assigned to give talks/scripture stories in either junior or senior primary were prepared or willing to do so. We had nothing. Which meant that in senior primary the music leader stopped at 5 til 12 like usual, but there was nothing to do but the prayer. So I spent about a minute or two talking to the kids about ideas to help them be prepared to give their talks and we decided I'll try calling them on Saturday to remind them and their parents of the assignment. Well... then there were still 3 minutes til 12! My counselors had no ideas, I had no ideas, and to top it off the stake primary president was in there and I just felt under such scrutiny. So I had the girl come up for closing prayer and they got out about 11:58. I would like to keep them a few minutes past 12, but what could I do?
    So then about 15-20 minutes later after I'd dealt with lots of people and things and was finally heading toward the coat rack with my own children, this woman comes up to me, who has NO children in primary, and says, "Oh good, the primary president, I was looking for you. THIS kid," points to a wild and crazy ADHD boy from senior primary, "was let out of primary WAY too early and has been causing all kinds of trouble." Well, my first response was to punch her in the face, but I'm proud to say, I did not. I mumbled something about how no one had talks prepared and there was nothing I could do about it. Seriously - once they leave primary, they are their parents' responsibility, not mine. IDK what this woman was even ticked about. IDK what the kid did - probably opening or closing doors or something. He really needs to be medicated but his mother refuses. It's kind of sad to see how much he struggles to sit or even just to carry on a conversation, his mind goes a hundred miles an hour. But I digress... and come home and cry. We still do not have teachers for all the classes. Twice we were told we were getting someone, and twice I go into sacrament meeting and they sustain that person to a different calling. It's like primary is the lowest class citizens of the ward, the last resort when it comes to callings.

  2. #1802

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    I believe that today is your due date Brandi, correct me if I am wrong. Just wondering how you are feeling and if you have had any more contractions? I hope all is well!

    On another note we are once again attending our parents ward today. My dad is being released as Bishop today so he can be there for my mom and little more. He is really torn up about it and struggling with the changes.

    My Relief Society pres came to visit me this week, I was thoroughly embarrassed, I hadn't gotten ready that day, I had barely taken a shower, and our living room was a mess because I had been going through junk boxes trying to figure out what to keep and what to send to the DI. It was nice to see her and she understands that we have been busy with my mom on the weekends.

    Hope everyone has a good day.

  3. #1803
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    Apr 2008
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    Ash today is my due date. No contractions a few BH this morning but nothing serious. No signs of her coming out any time soon. Hoping this week though

    Glad your RS Pres is understanding as to why you've been busy. Sorry she stopped by unexpectedly. I swear every time someone in my ward stops by (which is rare) they never call first. I hope your dad will be able to deal with the changes. I think it will be good for him though to focus on your family right now instead of the ward family.



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    Hope it happens soon for you Brandi! For me those last weeks are full of anticipation, wondering who they'll look like, holding them for the first time, etc. I've never gone a full 40 weeks yet so I think I'd be ready to burst with curiosity - I lack patience and I'm not good at waiting for surprises.

    Ash, I'm RS Secretary and I go out on visits with members of the presidency once a month and I HATE just randomly stopping by someone's house. I hate doing it because I hate when it's done to me. I always feel the need to apologize if my house isn't in perfect order, which since I have a 3yo and a 5mo it never is, but at least if I have fair warning I can make it APPEAR as if it's in perfect order. haha

    BTW, I'm not sure I ever really introduced myself...I'm Umeka!

  5. #1805
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    I have a question for you ladies. I've been doing some topic research-it's a new goal I have for the year. To get back into the habit of true studying of my Scriptures. That's something that has fallen hugely to the wayside ever since Keira was born.

    Anyhow, right now I'm doing Plan of Salvation. I was looking up Sons of Perdition having to do with Outer Darkness. I came across this in Wikipedia (yeah...I know. Not necessarily a reliable source, but still, it has quotes that are cited and all that):
    A few LDS Church leaders have speculated whether or not there would be daughters of perdition, as well as sons of perdition. In 1860, LDS Church President Brigham Young stated, "I doubt whether it can be found, from the revelations that are given and the facts as they exist, that there is a female in all the regions of hell."[7] The next year he was even more emphatic: "Woman must atone for sins committed by the volition of her own choice, but she will never become an angel to the devil, and sin so far as to place herself beyond the reach of mercy."[8] In the same discourse he explained his reasoning: "She is not accountable for the sins that are in the world. God requires obedience from man, he is lord of creation, and at his hands the sins of the world will be required."[8] In 1903 another Church President, Joseph F. Smith, also affirmed "that there would be no daughters of perdition."[9]However, such views are far from universal. After an 1893 meeting of Church President Wilford Woodruff and a group of LDS Church Apostles, they declared, "That there will also be daughters of Perdition there is no doubt in the minds of the brethren".[10] Such conflicting views suggests that this subject has not been settled by a consensus of the LDS Church leadership, nor by a revelation to one of the Church Presidents.
    So...daughters of perdition? It would never have occurred to me that there would be no women in Outer Darkness the way Brigham Young said. I mean, I just assumed some of the 1/3 that Fell would be women, right? But then to have President Woodruff directly contradict that statement...??? Was what Brigham Young said not Gospel, and just something off the cuff? Because Woodruff seems to back it up with it not just being him saying it, but saying there is no doubt in the minds of the Brethren implies discussion and revelation?

    Anyhow, just wondering if anyone had heard anything on this topic before?

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    Interesting...I'd never heard anything about it but I just assumed that of course there would be daughters of perdition. I have always found Brigham Young to be a little hard to swallow. I totally believe that he was a prophet of God but being a black member of the church I find many of his comments concerning blacks to be...disturbing. Unfortunately, because of those comments, I have a tendency to take some of the things he said as worth a grain of salt. I know that doesn't really help answer your question but I just had to throw that out there...

    Now excuse me, I am going to wait for the lightening to strike!

  7. #1807

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    Hey Brandi I'm pretty sure I saw somewhere that your LO is here, just wanted to say YAY!!! Congrats Momma!

    Heather - when we either have extra time or have a no show for the talk we extend the time by doing sweet/sour, we first ask the kids to tell us something sweet (good) that happened with them or their family that week. We usually let one or two people anwer then we ask about something sour that happened. Or we have sheets that we've had the kids fill out with info on them like their favorite color, food, etc....and start reading the answers and have the kids try to guess who we are talking about. Or if we are in a real pickle we bare our testimonies or something

    It will get better!
    Me = Alison, DH = Evan, DS #1 = John 09/05/06, DS #2 = Alan 07/21/09


    http://majorosfamily.blogspot.com/

  8. #1808
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    Thank you Alison, we love her so much! She is just perfect and such a gift from God



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    Congrats Brandi!

  10. #1810

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    Bradi, she is so adorable! I just wanted to snuggle her! Hope all is well.

    At Kenzie's doctor appointment today he informed us that an ugly bug has broken out in our area and it may be a good idea to limit time at church and large group functions. I am glad he didn't say don't go, just don't let others hold her and stay away from other kids. I am still trying to figure out if this helps my paranoia about taking her church, but I was happy to get a warning about possible hazards.

  11. #1811
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    So as you ladies know this last year has been horrible about us going to church in our new ward. I've gone a couple times and couple times since being pregnant. I have about 4 ladies from my ward on my facebook page. Anyways our home teacher came for the first time last month and he knew that we were expecting and due in Jan. Anyways so he comes last night and sees Hanna laying on the couch and he acts all surprised, he says "when did this happen". My DH said she was born the 19th. Anyways so then he goes on to say how sorry he was that he had forgotten and how horrible he felt that no one in the ward knew and that he should of contacted the RS president so we could get meals brought in etc. Sad thing is like I said I have at least 4 ladies from our ward on facebook and 1 of them is a teacher in RS. Yeah no one in my ward knows or cares. I really do not want to bless her in this ward. DH went to church on sunday and nothing was said to him. I got new vters but have never met them just last month they left cinnamon rolls by my front door. I so dont feel welcome in our ward when we go



  12. #1812
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    I am so sorry, Brandi. I think that if going to your parents' ward and blessing her there makes you feel more happy about church, that might be what you need to do for awhile. We do that here there-harder because John is EQ president and I'm not the primary pianist-but when we are having a tough time and KNOW we need to be at church but just have no desire to go to our own ward we go out to my mom's. More for me than John. We have lived in our ward for 5 years and have had a lot of support from them throughout our struggles. But neither of us have made any real personal connections with any of them. On the flip side I have at least 5 ladies in my mom's ward that I LOVE and enjoy seeing outside of church and everything. I go to almost all of her RS activities and I go play Bunco with these ladies also. It's hard because church isn't supposed to be "social" and yet as humans we thrive of feeling a connection. And when we don't feel like anyone notices us if we're there or not...there is not a connection. I don't have any advice other than to tell you that when we have FORCED ourselves to go despite whatever reason we can think of not to go-no one will know/care, kiddo has a slightly runny nose, I have a headache-when we have really pushed through that and gone we have almost always walked away feeling better. Not about the people there and the ward specifically, but about US and our little family.

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  13. #1813
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    Quote Originally Posted by DucksLikeRain View Post
    I am so sorry, Brandi. I think that if going to your parents' ward and blessing her there makes you feel more happy about church, that might be what you need to do for awhile. We do that here there-harder because John is EQ president and I'm not the primary pianist-but when we are having a tough time and KNOW we need to be at church but just have no desire to go to our own ward we go out to my mom's. More for me than John. We have lived in our ward for 5 years and have had a lot of support from them throughout our struggles. But neither of us have made any real personal connections with any of them. On the flip side I have at least 5 ladies in my mom's ward that I LOVE and enjoy seeing outside of church and everything. I go to almost all of her RS activities and I go play Bunco with these ladies also. It's hard because church isn't supposed to be "social" and yet as humans we thrive of feeling a connection. And when we don't feel like anyone notices us if we're there or not...there is not a connection. I don't have any advice other than to tell you that when we have FORCED ourselves to go despite whatever reason we can think of not to go-no one will know/care, kiddo has a slightly runny nose, I have a headache-when we have really pushed through that and gone we have almost always walked away feeling better. Not about the people there and the ward specifically, but about US and our little family.
    Thanks Tif, it makes me somewhat happy that I'm not alone although that totally sounds weird. I do think we will bless her in my parents ward (they dont go to church but its the ward I grew up in and was in just until we moved last Jan). My DH says he's not really liking the idea of blessing her outside of church which honestly at this point I would rather do. I will say though that it doesnt bother me as bad knowing my ward doesnt care as much as it bothers me that DH's mom doesnt care. DH did not call MIL when Hanna was born but just texted her instead (we havent spoke to her since Nov). He did not want to call her because she doesnt call us ever and didnt bother calling to tell us she was having surgery earlier this month. Anyways all she said was congrats, nothing else. She hasnt called to see how we are doing, hasnt even commented on any pictures of her. Even DH's aunt asked to see pictures and asked how I was doing after having her. Dh's grandma has called a couple times to see how we are all doing. His mom just totally does not care at all, anyways he does not want her here for the blessing. She says she wants to come out for it but she has yet to call and ask if she can come and stay with us she doesnt even ask when we plan on doing it she asks his sisters to ask us. I'm really thinking we may not even mention it to her just have it done. Dh's grandma wants to come out for the blessing and I want her to come and stay with us she's such a sweet lady and she totally makes up for how little his mom cares. I'm afraid though if we mention it to his grandma and not to his mom then she will be upset. I guess I should just let him deal with it and handle it and not care what how his mom feels. UGH I feel so negative today, its been a rough morning obviously.



  14. #1814

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    Big Hugs Brandi!!
    Me = Alison, DH = Evan, DS #1 = John 09/05/06, DS #2 = Alan 07/21/09


    http://majorosfamily.blogspot.com/

  15. #1815

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    Hugs, Brandi! I agree, bless her wherever you feel more comfortable. After almost 7 years of being in this ward, I just now feel like this last year I've made a couple friends. I think Tif is right, that it's not so much as WHERE you go (even though you're supposed to go to your designated ward), just as long as you are going. And congrats on baby Hanna! She is darling!

    Umeka, your family is so cute!

    Can I ask for some prayers from you guys? I got a BFP yesterday! I'm sooo nervous that I'm going to have another miscarriage. I don't think I can emotionally or spiritually handle another one. Could you guys can spare a prayer for me that everything will go well with this pregnancy? Thanks so much in advance!
    Kyli (26) DH (29) Liam (5/13/09) Evette (10/18/12)


  16. #1816
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    Thanks Ladies! I'm over it all now I knew I would be I just needed that day.
    Kyli congrats on the BFP! So super excited for you! Lots of prayers going your way!



  17. #1817
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    Glad you're feeling a little better about it all, Brandi.

    Prayers for you for sure, Kyli.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hpfan04 View Post
    Umeka, your family is so cute!
    Thanks Kyli! I'll definitely add you to my prayers!

  19. #1819

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    You are for sure in my Prayers Kyli!!
    Me = Alison, DH = Evan, DS #1 = John 09/05/06, DS #2 = Alan 07/21/09


    http://majorosfamily.blogspot.com/

  20. #1820

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    Hi ladies. A very nice young man came by to see me today, he has been working on a Book of Mormon inspired comic book. He wants to get some more fans and get his comics out there. If you like his facebook page you can get the first four issues for free. http://www.facebook.com/pages/From-t...68608916532849 Just thought I'd share in case anybody was interested.

    "We cannot withhold facts for fear of offending because the importance of the information outweighs people's right to not be challenged in their beliefs." -Maddy Reid
    In memory of all APA babies gone too soon; always loved and never forgotten

  21. #1821
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    After a baby blessing do you guys normally do a dinner for those who you invite? My family is so full of drama right now that I dont want to do anything. We are thinking of just telling everyone this is the day she'll be blessed and what time and then say we are not doing a dinner or lunch afterwards.



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    We do a very low-key lunch. We usually just buy deli meat, cheese, buns, etc. needed for sandwiches. Then some fruit, veggies, chips and drinks to go with. But then we don't have a ton of people come for it. For Quinn's blessing we only had 6 or 7 family members there. But I think the main reason we do it is because DH's Aunt & Uncle always drive down from Toronto for the blessings which is a 4 hour drive from here.

    But it's definitely not a day that you'll want to spend surrounded by drama so just do what works best for you, your husband and children.

  23. #1823
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    We did sandwiches and salads after Preston was blessed and everyone who came to the blessing came to the dinner afterwards. If we do one it will just be siblings and parents. I feel bad doing this but I seriously can not handle the drama right now.



  24. #1824
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    Hi ladies,

    I have been off APA periodically, but we just recently found out we're having another baby so I'm back!!! Hope you all are doing well. I'm going to be trying to read a few pages of posts to get somewhat up to speed.

    Brandi- congratulations on your little girl!! She's adorable!!

    Kyli- I just realized we're in the same birth room!

    I feel like I am overwhelmed and stretched too thin. We moved over the summer so we're in a new Ward. I was recently just called as the Enrichment Activites Leader (is that even what it's still called?). I am in quite a panic as I have to plan our RS Birthday Dinner and activity. I welcome any suggestions as all mine have been shot down. I really wanted to do a service auction with a Cafe Rio style pork dinner with rice and salad. But our budget is only $100. So now I'm thinking of a potato and salad bar and have sisters sign up to bring a birthday cake and host a table. I'm still just stuck on the activity. Also, I was just asked to give a talk next week on "Love at Home"... I'm terrified. I have dodged the bullet for years and have never given a talk. I don't even know where to start. My son is turning 13 this month and I need to plan a bday party. In the beginning of March I have a booth at a boutique featuring my cake pops I make. Wow, I'm getting stressed just thinking about it.

    Sorry ladies, didn't mean to turn this into a pitty me party I just feel totally overwhelmed and have no idea where to start.
    Last edited by Brandles; 02-12-2012 at 07:21 PM.
    Me- Brandy (34) DH- Eric (36), DS- Danny (16), DS- Dylan (13), DS- Landon (3)
    10/2001 4 weeks, 9/2008 5 weeks, 3/2012 10 weeks



  25. #1825

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    I don't blame you, Brandi, for not wanting to have drama-ridden family around any more than you have to! But I'd be worried that I'd seem ungrateful for people coming to the blessing, so I'd do something. Maybe not even a lunch or a dinner, maybe just some celebratory cupcakes or something, that they could just come by and grab and then leave. But this is your blessing, and if you don't want people to come over, then don't feel guilty about it.

    I'm excited to be in the same birth room, Brandy! You do sound like you have a lot on your plate right now! I hope you will be able to balance everything and things will calm down soon.
    Kyli (26) DH (29) Liam (5/13/09) Evette (10/18/12)


  26. #1826

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    I fell...
    I was so upset with the fact of DH never going back to church, to see how much he hates going to the meetings and the people there...I was so tired of going by myself, having to feed, change and take the kids, come back make lunch, feed them put the down for nap....and just having this elephant in the room with DH and me after going to church...I was so tired of feeling like my marriage will fail if we keep this up because I was so unhappy with him.
    I was so good in the church before marring him, I helped keeping my family together and going...I was proud of being a member and felt in peace with myself, sure of myself and what I wanted. My patriarcal blessing said so many wonderful things me and my husband (and family) would do for the church and what an example we would be....it made me think over and over again I married the wrong person.
    For the past month I missed church when I didn't have to teach, I just decided not to go anymore, I was DONE! I was thinking I'd rather stay home with DH than be resentful and living with this anger of him. And that was not all...I decided to just go bad, I wanted to drink...have wine and whatever I wanted...it was my "the he|| with everything"...and so for the past 2 saturdays I did, I drank, got drunk...and we also had his brother over...he was my "drinking buddy" he'd come over bring the drinks and the take it with him. DH thought it was good for me...he thought I needed that...he liked to see me "buzzed" he said I was "happy". It got out of control...I got too crazy with his brother and started teasing him saying I was going to "flash" him....DH thought that was awesome....and in the last minute when I had my shirt unbuttoned I chickened out and DH did the rest, he put my breasts out and was sooo proud of it.
    The next day he was sooo loving of me, he let me sleep in (it was a sunday BTW) he kept hugging and kissing me, snuggling in bed with me. He got the kids up, fed and changed...He's NEVER like that!
    Next saturday we got together with his brother again...this time I drank waay too much...I was falling off, I hit my hand so bad against the wall that it still bruised I thought I broke it. And this time DH let me walk around in just a shirt and panties...he kept showing off my butt, he let his brother touch me and let him watch DH finger me. It went too far IDK who else to talk to, my mom is always my confident but I think even her would be shocked, but If I keep this any longer I will drive myself crazy. I don't wanna do this anymore...But I don't wanna go to church by myself or I will keep resentning DH and leave him eventually...
    If I go to church I'm unhappy with my marriage, and If I don't go I'm unhappy with myself...
    Thank's for listening...I know I might have a lot of women here judging me but I needed to let it out.
    WHat have I done with my life?

    ~* How wonderful life is, now you're in the world *~



  27. #1827
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    I am so sorry, Thaby.

    Im going to be blunt here. In my-obviously very personal and wit limited knowledge of you and your relationship-your marriage is doing nothing but bringing you down. From everything you have ever posted on here he is not wanting the same things as you, doesn't care to make any change. And to be perfectly honest he is abusing you. Before it sounded like it was only emotional. But what you have described has crossed the line into physical and sexual abuse. If you were an IRL friend I would be telling you to leave him.

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  28. #1828
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    Sorry. I'm on my phone and I didn't meant to post that yet.

    I also wanted to tell you that I've been where you are as far as it being easier to just keep doing what's easier. And it is easier, for awhile. It's easy to tell yourself that things are already going wrong, you're too far gone, etc. But I want to tell you it's never too late. God never ever gives up on you, we just have to ask. It's not easy. Repentance is a process that is painful. But it is so worth it, Thaby. Your bishop is there for you. I know living where his family is can make things tougher but you can't let those relationships and social aspects stand in the way of you and your salvation.

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  29. #1829

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    Tif has some excellent words of advice, I have nothing to add. I just wanted to give you some hugs. We're here for you, Thaby.
    Kyli (26) DH (29) Liam (5/13/09) Evette (10/18/12)


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    Thaby, I really have to agree with all that DucksLikeRain has said. I haven't been a frequent of this thread until fairly recently, so I'm not familiar with any past posts you have written but when I read that my heart ached for you.

    One week he exposed your breasts to his brother, the next week he allowed his brother to touch you and watch what should be a very intimate and private moment between husband and wife. Each week it has seemed to escalate, what happens next? What happens if it goes even farther? There are some huge respect issues here, you have to let him know how you're feeling and that you don't want to do that anymore. If that is what it takes for him to be thoughtful and affectionate towards you then maybe the marriage is not worth saving. You mentioned that if you have to attend church without him then you are resentful towards him. Are you not resentful towards him for what he has done to you in front of his brother?

    I'm no marriage counselor and I've never been in a position where my DH refused to support me in anything church related so I can't say that I've ever been in your shoes. But I have been in a position where I've done somethings I've regretted and felt horrible about. At the end of your post you said, "If I go to church I'm unhappy with my marriage, and If I don't go I'm unhappy with myself..." By reading that I really feel as if the Spirit has been pleading with you. Heavenly Father does not want us unhappy but He will allow us to make our own choices. I urge you to heed that feeling of unhappiness you're feeling about not going to church and do something about it! Go to church, please go to church and talk to your Bishop. If you continue to not go to church, drink, etc. that unhappy feeling will more than likely begin to subside, but when it does it'll take the Spirit with it. Heavenly Father will never give up on you, He loves you, but we also know that the Holy Ghost can only help us if we heed it, if we continue to ignore it we lose it.

    I hope some of what I said has been a help on some level. I truly hope things get better for you.

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