LDS Moms

[BrandiB]

Interesting. I'd bet his is your HT. Or he wants to ask one of you to share a 'special skill' with the YM... lol

I had a lot of bitterness and resentment toward our current HT. He had us assigned to him for like 9 months and he never came. Never even acknowledged us really! It drove me nuts. He would sit there every single Sunday... and I'm like, duuuude! So finally one month he wanted to come and I didn't want him to! My husband pointed out my flawed thinking - was I mad that he didn't come, or mad that he wanted to come? I kind of put him in a no-win situation. So he did come. And he was very sorry about not coming before. I still keep a tiny drop of anger (I know... I need to let go) but I'm getting better.

I have no idea how to do the whole multiple quotes so forgive me in advance for all this haha.

It was our HT. They are coming next tuesday. I told my husband maybe this will make us feel more welcome and we will want to attend church.

Its so hard sometimes to let go. I'm kind of in the same situation with our current ward. No one from the bishopric or HT have came to welcome us to the ward. My RS President did bring me a few things but she always came at a horrible time like right after I had surgery or right before and I was just in so much pain from my gall bladder. In the 4.5 years since I've been married we have had HT come once. We were in the process of moving then also but we werent switching wards and they brought us a Christmas gift. My VTers have came once. When I lived in a different ward my VTers were also my mom's so I would go over there so they didnt have to hit my house also and they came the first week of the month every single month. I love those ladies! I was at my mom's house just this month and was there when they were and I expressed to them how great it was that they actually came and you knew they loved the ladies they visit.

[BrandiB]

John's the EQ Pres and I've been in the RS presidency for over 3 years...so we apparently don't "need" HT/VTers. At least that's all I can figure since we haven't seen either one more than twice in the last 4 years!


I had a really hard time in RS on Sunday. When I was 1st counselor I wanted to call a different 4th Sunday teacher. For 2 years. The lady teaching had been teaching already for a year when I moved in FIVE years ago. I did finally get the president to let me take one of her Sundays (she was teaching 2nd and 4th) and give it to someone else but she wouldn't budge on releasing her completely even though I had some great names in mind, names that we were being bugged by the Bishop to put somewhere.

So when I was put in as 4th Sunday teacher, it smarted because that was something I had been trying and trying to change (not to be me, obviously, but to give this poor lady a break!) and the RS Pres' best friend walks into the calling and that's the first change she makes.

And then. It got harder. In our ward there are 4 of us who play the piano passably, 2 of us well. The organist and I are the ones that play well. Another gal plays for primary and the 4th has been my RS pianist. So in walks RS Pres BFF and she releases the RS pianist. But does she put ME, who can actually play so people can sing to it, in? Nope. I get dumped into the teaching position. They put a lady that can't even right hand the melody of the songs. And the poor lady is shaking in her shoes and does not want to be there especially when I and the gal they just released are sitting in the room. So awkward. I think she could string together 2 notes of melody at a time as we were trying to sing the songs. I am just having a really hard time seeing the forest for the trees here with some of these changes. And I know part of it is lingering resentment at who they put in when they released me. But more of it is always being told that we are to be using our gifts and to be happy to use our gifts and I happen to know this lady's gift lies in teaching whereas while I can teach alright (hate it, but I can do it) my true gift is on the piano. And she's uncomfortable, everyone else in the room is uncomfortable and it's just...ugh.

/rant

I totally get why you'd be upset. The poor lady who they have play the piano is probably so embarrassed. I know I would be. Sometimes change is good and sometimes change is bad and in this case I think they made a mistake.

[BrandiB]

SO here I am and this is my little problem:
Every Sunday is the same thing. Every single Sunday I get extremely angry and resentful, sometimes depressed and hopeless.
I have to get ready for church with kids running around me, screaming, crying, going through my stuff (outfit, make up, etc) while DH is in bed not helping a bit!
I get frustrated because I not only have to deal with all that at home but also at church, trying to keep them happy or the very least quiet.
Thankfully we go to the same ward and his parents so they help me with them, but still is hard when both of them are cranky and both wants mommy and start fighting over me in the middle of sacramental meeting.
IDK how to get pass this, DH shows no interest AT ALL to go back. He just got released from his calling as a stake "tech support" and it was just after an incident at the stake conference. He didn't even set it up, he said he couldn't do it because he had to work (he didn't have to work he just didn't wanted to do it). So now he's saying he wasn't good enough for the church and that he was released because of what happened last week at the stake conference. I told him not to think that way, because he didn't even set it up but he's convinced that that's what everybody is going to think. ONE MORE REASON FOR HIM NOT TO GO!
Now he doesn't even need to make up an excuse not to go. He's mad at the ward/stake/church/whatever. And that made me angry at him because I know those leaders and that NOT how it looks. It makes me angry that he's not even trying to make up for not going or trying to join us.
All I know is that every Sunday we grow apart...I get resentful and everything goes to he||.
IDK how to deal with this. I thought that marrying a returned missionary would be a blessing and my family would be going to church and doing everything, but it turned out a fiasco. He has terrible memories about his mission, he hated, and when he talks about it seems like he's gonna have a heart attack. I'm so afraid the kind of message he's going to send to DS.
He doesn't drink, or smoke or do anything against the church doctrine, but we don't read the scriptures together or have prayers or family home evening (he also dislike FHE). He does wear his "Gs" but that's it.
IDK what else to do, his parents won't do anything to help me, his other 2 brothers also are inactive, one of them actually asked to get his records canceled in the church and he drinks and go to orgies and stuff....It's horrible. His mom doesn't know about it tho. She doesn't like to know that any of her sons drink or drank or had pre-marital sex. They don't tell her ANYTHING. Because she ASKED not to know this things.
Anyway, it's messed up. His parents act as "we respect the decision you make" and that for me is a lazy way to parent.
I'm just worried with the future of our marriage. God is supposed to bring a couple closer but now I feel the opposite is happening
He does like that I'm going and working towards renewing my temple recommend (I had mine expired because I was inactive with him from DS's birth to his 2nd birthday).
I'm not perfect, the sundays I don't teach I stay home, but I hated it because I feel it's DH's dragging me down. And it really does. I don't feel like going....ever! And I'm so thankful for my callings that MAKES me go to church.
Is you read this far thank you for "listening"

I know I already responded but I'm hoping that some of the other ladies that are LDS will respond also

[ashers]

My family is going through a really hard time right now, my mom is Bipolar and reached a breaking point today after many months of fighting things, as a family we decided it would be the best if she was admitted to a mental health facility because she was threatening suicide. If you ladies could keep her in your prayers it would mean a lot to me.

[BrandiB]

My family is going through a really hard time right now, my mom is Bipolar and reached a breaking point today after many months of fighting things, as a family we decided it would be the best if she was admitted to a mental health facility because she was threatening suicide. If you ladies could keep her in your prayers it would mean a lot to me.

Ashley lots of hugs, love and prayers going your families way, especiall your moms.

[BrandiB]

Ashley hows your mom doing?

[LuTruPeMo]

Oh Ashley I'm sorry to hear this. I hope they are getting her some help. Update us when you can.

My sister was arrested on Friday for shoplifting wine. Some of you know my sister's history - suffice it to say she's been in & out of jail and prison for about ten years, is a pathological liar, an alcoholic, and just all around a mess. She's had lots of opportunities to change but fails every time. I was actually glad to hear she'd been arrested because in recent months she's attempted suicide at least three times. In jail, she'll be forced to sober up. When she's sober, she's not suicidal. It's a sad situation.

[BrandiB]

Oh Ashley I'm sorry to hear this. I hope they are getting her some help. Update us when you can.

My sister was arrested on Friday for shoplifting wine. Some of you know my sister's history - suffice it to say she's been in & out of jail and prison for about ten years, is a pathological liar, an alcoholic, and just all around a mess. She's had lots of opportunities to change but fails every time. I was actually glad to hear she'd been arrested because in recent months she's attempted suicide at least three times. In jail, she'll be forced to sober up. When she's sober, she's not suicidal. It's a sad situation.

Sorry to hear about your sister Heather. I sure wish she could get the help she needs and sobers up. I swear though so me people will never learn.

[LuTruPeMo]

Yeah it's sad. We are so dysfunctional. I used to think, every family is dysfunctional, mine's not all that different... but I think there are layers of dysfuntionality. If that's even a word.

I had my first official primary presidency meeting tonight. I am so lucky to have this group of ladies to help me out. I have been so stressed out by all that there is to do and figure out before Jan 1, but these ladies are right there with me and take assignments like pros. It's so nice. I feel much less heavy and burdened now!

[hpfan04]

Lots of hugs, Ashley and Heather! I agree, Heather, there are all different kinds of dysfuncionality (probably not a word, but I like it anyway ) and every family has some kind.

So glad your first presidency meeting went well and that you have some awesome ladies helping you out!


The Lord answered our prayers yesterday. This school year (DH's a teacher) has been the roughest financial year for us with all the paycuts at both his teaching jobs (high school and community college), and we've been barely able to keep our heads above water. And then we found out that he'll only be teaching half as much at the community college next semester, and we were panicking because then we'd be drowning. So we'd been fasting and praying for a miracle, for something to come up - and it did. My DH is going to be teaching a class on his prep at the high school next semester for extra money, which will make up the difference that he will lose from the community college. So we won't be smooth sailing by any means, but we should at least still manage to keep our heads above water. Just wanted to share that I know Heavenly Father does hear and answer our prayers.

[ashers]

Hugs to you Heather, families are full of interesting dynamics, I know mine is for sure.

Kyli, thanks for testifying of the power of prayer, I know that many of ours have been answered lately, but I have been slow to recognize them.

Thank you all for the T&Ps for my mom, it has been a rough couple of weeks, she stayed in the hospital for days, they changed a lot of her medication and got her talking to a therapist again. She is still having ups and downs, and is struggling with the things she needs to change to get in a better place. There is so much to this story it is hard to type on my phone, but she is doing better than two weeks ago.

[ashers]

A quick question, did any of you have a hard time taking your infants to church during the winter months? There is a lot of sickness going on right now, and even some whooping cough, it scares me to take her. Surviving the cold ww had last week was hard enough!

[BrandiB]

Kyli you are so right the power of prayer is amazing

Ashley so glad to hear that your mom is doing better. Sorry there are still struggles there though.

Oh and yes I do not take my infants to church in the winter months. RSV and whooping cough are serious illnesses. We are due in a month and I do not plan on taking her out to church until at least spring when RSV has died down. Makes me way to nervous. I know a mom in my old ward that would not take any of her infants out to church for the first 6 months whether it was the winter months or not. Her and her husband would just switch sundays.

[hpfan04]

So glad to hear your mom is starting to do better, Ashley. I hope she continues to get better.

I did bring Liam to church during the winter months since he was 7-9 months old and didn't have people trying to hold him all the time. If he had been younger than that or if we had a ward that passed around babies, I'd probably keep him home or put my foot down on people holding him.

[LuTruPeMo]

Kyli that is great about your DH's job! Does that also mean he'll be doing it during his regular workday, and not be gone as much? I remember the years my husband would work a 8-5 M-F job, plus teach 6-10pm at least twice a week. It was a hard time.

Re: babies/church. I always kept them home for 2-3 weeks, then I started to go stir crazy. I guess we would've traded off Sundays if we had callings that allowed that, but I don't remember that being the case. When #1 was a baby there were a lot of grandmother-type ladies in the ward but I was careful about who held her, and even then people were generally smart enough not to touch her face or hands (I don't think holding is really that dangerous germ-wise). When #2 and #3 were born, our ward was a university ward and chock-full of babies so no one really wanted to hold mine! I would just put them in the sling for most of the time. One lady thought I had a really big scripture bag, and then realized it was a baby! LOL

[hpfan04]

Kyli that is great about your DH's job! Does that also mean he'll be doing it during his regular workday, and not be gone as much? I remember the years my husband would work a 8-5 M-F job, plus teach 6-10pm at least twice a week. It was a hard time.

Yep! He usually teaches 2 nights a week at the community college, but now it's down to 1 night a week. So he'll be gone one less day and still make the same amount. So it's like a double blessing.

[ulovettfox]

Hi Ladies!

I know I don't stop in much but I wanted to stop by, say hello and wish you all a merry Christmas!

[LuTruPeMo]

thanks!

merry Christmas to all!

I was so excited to just go to sacrament today and not having any primary obligations! And I was also hopeful they might sustain some new primary workers for me, but NO! In fact they RELEASED one of my most steadfast teachers! And didn't call any new ones! I am now short FIVE primary teachers and have to find six subs for next Sunday. NOT cool. I have assigned three of them to my first counselor to find. I seriously was about to burst into tears throughout all of sacrament meeting after that.

[BrandiB]

Merry Christmas to all of you wonderful ladies!

We got a wonderful gift from my brother and my SIL. Its a picture of the SLC temple and a quote from Pres. Hinckley. I LOVE it! Can not wait to hang it up Hope you all had a wonderful day!

Heather geez 6 subs, that is going to be hard, especially because you posted about it on facebook LOL.

[EvandAl]

I hope you guys all had a Wonderful Christmas. Ours was pretty good. They boys had a blast and it's always so much fun watching their excitement. My parents were here and I just have a hard time lately being with my Dad. He just makes me want to scream all the time and I was actually glad they decided to leave a night early

Man Heather 6 subs is a lot! We had to get 3 for this week since we are waiting on a few people to be called for the new year. Plus I'm still waiting on a teacher to contact me so we can tell her that she has been moved to a new class (she was gone the last 2 weeks).

I am so ready for the new year. I feel like the end of the year it's so hard to stay focused on our callings and I know in my Primary Pres. we have been really slacking so I'm hoping the new year brings us all back to center. I'm doing the bulletin board and I am so excited to get it up on Sunday. I'm hoping everything fits the way I'm picturing it HAHA.

Oh I haven't talked to you guys about this but a few weeks ago DH and I had some serious issues. I'm not sure if I ever told you guys this but my DH is addicted to Porn. And I found out that he had started looking again and was hiding it from me. It was a really ruff few days here. But thankfully we were able to spend a lot of time talking and at least for me a lot of time in prayer. We both agree that our relationship is better now than it's been in YEARS. We got the churches 12 step addiction book and are going to work on it together. Plus we set up extra security on our computer so he shouldn't be able to view it if he wanted to. I just pray that with open communication and love and faith this is an issue he can overcome. I'm sure there will be stumbles but I know that it is something he wishes could end.

Thanks for always listening to my rambles girls!

[BrandiB]

Al I'm so glad that you and your husband have decided to work on his issue together. Porn is such a common addiction in so many men. It really can tear a marriage apart. I'll be sure to keep you guys in my prayers. Maybe you could call the temple and have his name put on the prayer roll?

[ulovettfox]

I am feeling extremely optomistic about 2012, I feel as if there will be a few changes in store for our family this year and I'm excited about it.

Alison - I'm glad you guys have found a way to work through it, as Brandi mentioned above it's becoming a common problem and is thus becoming a huge focus of the church. In one of our 5th Sunday meetings our bishop decided to divide the lesson and present it to the men one week and the women separately because he wanted to have a very candid conversation and wasn't sure if either spouse would "open up" with the other present. It wasn't a confessional type deal but they just wanted people to be able to make comments without worrying about what the opposite sex might read into it. At the end they passed around pieces of paper which was an anonymous survey and we were asked to circle the number of times in the past month we had intentionally sought out pornography. The results were kept pretty confidential but my DH is the EQ President and told me the numbers - I was pretty surprised by the percentages of both men and women.

I shared that only to assure you that your DH is not alone in his struggles with pornography and you are not alone as the spouse of someone who struggles with porn. Also, (you may already be aware of it) the church also has a website focused on combating the addiction it's, www.combatingpornography.org.

[ashers]

Happy Sunday everyone! I hope you all a a peaceful day with you sweet families!

[ashers]

Got up and ready in time to make it to church on time,get to the building, cars in the parking lot and everything, only to find the building locked and dark! Nothing on the ward or stake websites, so we decided to just head to our parents ward since we are all ready. I hate not knowing anyone I feel comfortable calling to ask what is up with church!

[BrandiB]

Got up and ready in time to make it to church on time,get to the building, cars in the parking lot and everything, only to find the building locked and dark! Nothing on the ward or stake websites, so we decided to just head to our parents ward since we are all ready. I hate not knowing anyone I feel comfortable calling to ask what is up with church!

Hmmm thats weird, nothing was mentioned last sunday? We arent in church today, DH is at work and we only have one car and I refuse to go alone with my toddler he's to wild lol.

[ulovettfox]

Hey Brandi I just noticed your ticker, it says only a week to go!!! Have you been feeling any contractions yet? Decided on a name?

[BrandiB]

Hey Brandi I just noticed your ticker, it says only a week to go!!! Have you been feeling any contractions yet? Decided on a name?

Yep my due date is next sunday. I'm feeling super uncomfortable. No contractions, I've had one my entire pregnancy, I'm barely even dialating. We are going to name her Hanna Marie. Super excited to be adding a little girl to our family .

[DucksLikeRain]

I love her name, Brandi! Can't believe how soon she'll be here-one way or another!


I was super hopeful I'd get released from my teaching Caplin yesterday when the counselor in the bishopric asked to sit down with us. Nope. Just added primary pianist on top of it. Did I mention they already have a competent pianist and RS doesn't? And did I mention I'd rather play the organ in chapel every week than so much as sub for primary? I hate playing for primary for some reason!

[ulovettfox]

Yep my due date is next sunday. I'm feeling super uncomfortable. No contractions, I've had one my entire pregnancy, I'm barely even dialating. We are going to name her Hanna Marie. Super excited to be adding a little girl to our family .

Well good luck and congrats! I love the name as well.

With DD#2 I had to have NSTs twice a week, on Tuesday's and Fridays for the last 8 weeks of the pregnancy. There were never any contractions until about a week before my due date at my Friday appt and I didn't feel the contraction I only knew about it because my doctor pointed it out on the paper. I was barely dilated and both me and my dr stated that nothing would happen that weekend and we'd see each other again on Tueday for another NST. Well indeed nothing did happen that weekend but on Monday I started feeling some tightening going on but didn't think much about it and swore that it wasn't labor pains, just Braxton Hicks. Eventually my Dh insisted we go to the hospital and it's a good thing because I was at a 7, 0 station, and our baby was born less than an hour later. That's just the short version of the story, it's actually quite hilarious! I was grocery shopping and I'd have to stop pushing the cart and bend over until the pains would subside but I kept telling myself that I wasn't in labor because 2 people told me I would feel the pain in my back when I was truly in labor and none of the pain was anywhere near my back so I just kept telling myself and my husband that it was just gas and if I could just get it to pass I wouldn't be in pain anymore. To my defense with DD#1 I was induced, had an epidural once I reached 4cm, and didn't feel any contractions or pain for that matter and she ended up being delivered via emergency c-section, so I was clueless as to what a contraction really felt like. Anyway, I just keep babbling but my point is, things can change very quickly!

[BrandiB]

Well good luck and congrats! I love the name as well.

With DD#2 I had to have NSTs twice a week, on Tuesday's and Fridays for the last 8 weeks of the pregnancy. There were never any contractions until about a week before my due date at my Friday appt and I didn't feel the contraction I only knew about it because my doctor pointed it out on the paper. I was barely dilated and both me and my dr stated that nothing would happen that weekend and we'd see each other again on Tueday for another NST. Well indeed nothing did happen that weekend but on Monday I started feeling some tightening going on but didn't think much about it and swore that it wasn't labor pains, just Braxton Hicks. Eventually my Dh insisted we go to the hospital and it's a good thing because I was at a 7, 0 station, and our baby was born less than an hour later. That's just the short version of the story, it's actually quite hilarious! I was grocery shopping and I'd have to stop pushing the cart and bend over until the pains would subside but I kept telling myself that I wasn't in labor because 2 people told me I would feel the pain in my back when I was truly in labor and none of the pain was anywhere near my back so I just kept telling myself and my husband that it was just gas and if I could just get it to pass I wouldn't be in pain anymore. To my defense with DD#1 I was induced, had an epidural once I reached 4cm, and didn't feel any contractions or pain for that matter and she ended up being delivered via emergency c-section, so I was clueless as to what a contraction really felt like. Anyway, I just keep babbling but my point is, things can change very quickly!

I feel like this gives me some hope lol. I've had one contraction that I've felt. I did have an u/s at 31-32 weeks and the tech said I was having a contraction. I could not feel it. I was induced at 42 weeks with DS so I'm not even really sure what to look for I guess I just didnt pay much attention while I was in the hospital. I'm so ready to be done just uncomfortable. DH has the next 2 days off so I'm really hoping something happens then!