LDS Moms

[hpfan04]

I have no idea, Al, but I just wanted to send you hugs. I hope someone has some good advice for you and you can figure something out.

[BrandiB]

Al I do not have any advice either for you but I wanted to send you some *hugs*

[DucksLikeRain]

I wish I had advice, Al. When I've been in similar situations with calling and kids I've let the calling slide. When I had Scharae I was primary pianist and it did NOT work with her needing me and John was EQ president so he couldn't pick up the slack, not to mention Keira wasn't old enough for nursery yet. So I asked to be released. Same thing with YW presidency. Scharae was just barely old enough for nursery about 6 months into the calling but it did NOT go over well...and again John was in EQ presidency. I finally asked to be released from that. I hated to do it, but for me, this point in life is about my kids and church, not so much about ME and church. So whatever I can do to help them establish good habits at church (because let's face it-when you're having that kind of time it's going to be really easy to leave kiddo home with your husband, or to stay home yourself!) is what takes precedence. Right now I'm in the RS presidency and there have been sundays where I've had to leave in order to have one of the girls successful in Primary, and to me that is more important than my calling.

[BrandiB]

I totally agree with Tif!

[Brandles]

I have that calling in my ward, too. One of my favorites activities from my mom's ward is a service auction that they hold every year. A week or two prior, everyone writes down a service for others to bid on, or they bring an item to be auctioned off. At the beginning of the activity, everyone adds up their 'points' (points are gained from things they do during that month, i.e. reading scriptures daily, praying daily, temple work and service.) I have the form, pm me if you want it.

We actually just did this activity recenty and it was a lot of fun! Thanks for the offer though!!

[Angie2775]

Hello, just wanted to jump in the chat. I've been MIA from APA for awhile, but I missed my girls, and life slowed down a little but, so I thought I would post! There's so many new faces since the last time I was here, so I am eager to get to know everyone and some of you I remember A little bit about myself, since there's so many new faces as I mentioned.. I have been a member for about 8 years now, my husband 5. We're both converts and we have 2 kids Jackie (11) and Katie (2). We are not sealed yet but we are working on that now Thats us in a nut shell! lol

[Brandles]

Welcome back!!

And Happy Birthday to your sweet baby Katie!!!

[BrandiB]

Hello, just wanted to jump in the chat. I've been MIA from APA for awhile, but I missed my girls, and life slowed down a little but, so I thought I would post! There's so many new faces since the last time I was here, so I am eager to get to know everyone and some of you I remember A little bit about myself, since there's so many new faces as I mentioned.. I have been a member for about 8 years now, my husband 5. We're both converts and we have 2 kids Jackie (11) and Katie (2). We are not sealed yet but we are working on that now Thats us in a nut shell! lol

Welcome back!!

[BrandiB]

This past weekend me and my husband went to Salt Lake for the weekend and we stayed right across the street from Temple Square. We had such a good time, we went and did a tour of Brigham Youngs house, now I have lived in Utah my whole life and I've been to temple square millions of times but have never done a tour before. It was awesome! They also have a new exibit in the South visitor center of the Salt Lake Temple. Its really neat to see, its only been open for about a week.


This next weekend is our stake conference and I just found out that Jeffery R Holland will be speaking, he will actually be in our church not just a broadcast. We are super excited to attend, I have already lined up a babysitter for the adult session!

[hpfan04]

Hello, just wanted to jump in the chat. I've been MIA from APA for awhile, but I missed my girls, and life slowed down a little but, so I thought I would post! There's so many new faces since the last time I was here, so I am eager to get to know everyone and some of you I remember A little bit about myself, since there's so many new faces as I mentioned.. I have been a member for about 8 years now, my husband 5. We're both converts and we have 2 kids Jackie (11) and Katie (2). We are not sealed yet but we are working on that now Thats us in a nut shell! lol

Glad you could join us again! I see you're in Mesa - I'm in Phoenix!

This past weekend me and my husband went to Salt Lake for the weekend and we stayed right across the street from Temple Square. We had such a good time, we went and did a tour of Brigham Youngs house, now I have lived in Utah my whole life and I've been to temple square millions of times but have never done a tour before. It was awesome! They also have a new exibit in the South visitor center of the Salt Lake Temple. Its really neat to see, its only been open for about a week.


This next weekend is our stake conference and I just found out that Jeffery R Holland will be speaking, he will actually be in our church not just a broadcast. We are super excited to attend, I have already lined up a babysitter for the adult session!

That is so cool, to both the tour and Elder Holland speaking in your church!

[Angie2775]

ladies, i need some SERIOUS help...and I feel only an LDS woman can help me on this one. Myhusband has been out of work for over a year. And while he has always gotten unemploymeent, and I was allowed to work OT we have gotten along just fine with him staying at home.....well now his unemployment ran out (waiting to see if an extension gets passed from congress) and I can't work the OT anymore. With just my income, we are short about 1000.00 a month. My problem is, he refuses to get a dang job. Its pissing me off like you wouldn't believe. All our bills have gotten behind this month, and everything will be subject to be disconnected. Even if we asked the church for assistance, we would need the help every month. And we would still be negative at the end of the month anyways. And I refuse to live in a dungeon. I have 2 children, so cutting off our cells, the internet, and the cable, doesn't solve anything but make me go crazy. Plus I feel why should my things get cut off when I am busting my bunz off at work? Anyways, we fight like mad just about everyday, over bills, and him not working. And to make things worse, he had worked in april, and I took a leave of absence to take care of the kids (he was making in excess of 1200 A WEEK with this job, we could afford it)....well now i'm going thru the hoops of trying to go BACK to work....so technically we have no income at all. And of course he throws this at me everyday, that our financial problems are ALL my fault. I have just about had it. All this is brewing anger and hate. I just don't know what to do anymore. I tried to talk to our bishop back in march, when I considered filing for divorce and he said that being married is unconditional love. that being married or sealed doesn't depend on if someone is working. That has haunted me. I know what he means, but at what expense? Us loosing everything because he won't work? I have babbled enough, I just need some advice. This is killing me emotionally and spiritually more and more everyday. It's gotten to the point where I don't even want to go to church anymore.

[hpfan04]

Oh Angie He needs a good kick, in my book!! What is his reasoning for not getting a job? And how could the financial problems be YOUR fault when you're the one working and he's sitting at home all day refusing to work?

I would talk to the bishop and see what kind of help he might be able to provide for you. He can help with food at the very least so you don't have to spend your money there. And then I would give your DH an ultimatum. Tell him that if he doesn't start pulling his weight, you are all going to be homeless and without water/power, and you're not going to let your children live like that, and that you and the kids will leave if it gets to that point and HE can be homeless on his own. Sorry, I'm just mad for you right now!!!

[BrandiB]

I'm so sorry Angie. Have you asked your family for help? I know the church will ask that. I think that your DH needs to get up off his lazy butt and find a job. Even if it doesnt pay as well. Cut down on all your expenses. I've been through the no job and no income. We cut down our cell phone plans, got rid of internet, and moved in with my parents. Its not easy. *hugs* I'm not sure if your endowed but maybe you could go to the temple and pray about things?

[Angie2775]

thanks ladies. yes i'm already endowed so I could go to the temple. it's just so hard to even do that. he is being prideful. he had a job ladt november and he HATED it. I "allowed" him to quit it because it was a lot of stenuous work on him and he back problems sometimes. and he was only making 100 more a month then unemployment. and when we then cut out daycare, we would still be able to manage. I was understanding. But I hate my job, and have been begging to quit it for a while. I work in the foreclosure dept for a bank, and I get yelled at, cursed at all day long. And most everyday I take it home with me. Hearing the mothers begging for help and for us not to take thei house, while I can hear their kids in the background. It kills me. And he is now not understanding to my needs. He uses his background as his reasonings that he can't get a job. He has alot of felonies and even went to jail for some of them. That was lmost 20 years ago, but they are still there. I am just so distraught because we are not sealed, and have been taking the classes in church. I know satan doesn't want another family sealed, so I know this is his trick. But how much am I supposed to take ya know?? I can't loose everything to stand by him, do I?

[LuTruPeMo]

Where's my LDS peeps? Update time, ladies!

[ladybug]

Well, June was very busy over here. We had girls camp the middle of June ( I was the assistant ward camp director and all 3 of my girls went this year) and then the next weekend we took a youth trip to the Manti Pageant and then Lagoon. It was fun spending time with all our YW.

Now I am busy being the fundraiser parent for my youngest DD's soccer team, she made a select team this year and so we will be traveling for games and playing more competitively. Anyway, staying busy and looking forward to all the fall sports that will start soon.

How is everyone else?

[DucksLikeRain]

I'm...hanging in here. In a funk. Church was finally getting to be a place that I didn't feel like I was reminded of Taela and whatnot every week, and then it had to go and happen again in May. But John and I are doing better this time with staying active and not wallowing every Sunday instead of going to church. I think the girls being older and realizing when it's Sunday (and tattling on us at family dinner if we don't go) sort of gives us that extra push to go even when we really are having a rough day. And he's EQ president and I just got switched to 1st counselor again in the RS presidency instead of 2nd. So that sort of pushes us to go...and yet at the same time piles on the guilt when we feel like we're just snowed under emotionally and don't have anything to give to anyone that needs it.

About 2 weeks after I had Aiyana then a sister in the ward had her little guy at 28 weeks. And I feel super empathetic to her.....but at the same time I just have a hard time CARING. That's not coming out right. It's not that I don't want her little guy to get strong and come home. I just can't hear about it. Can't listen to it. Can't even get over myself enough to offer to watch her kids while she goes up to the NICU. I took a frozen dinner over there a couple times and that's the most I can do. And I feel horrid about it-she watched my girls more than once when I was in the hospital and on bedrest at home. But I just...am jealous. I was jealous of her for the 3 weeks she spent in the hospital battling pre-e before she delivered. And yes, I'm even jealous of her having a tiny little baby in the NICU for so long. I'd give almost anything to have my baby in the NICU right now instead of in the ground.

Everyone talks about how the girls are in a better place, that John and I are "lucky" or "blessed". But honestly, I'd give anything to be not so "lucky" or "blessed"

[BrandiB]

Tif I think you have every right to feel that way *hugs*. I'm so sorry, theres not a day that goes by that I dont think about your family.

We've been super busy here. We just got back from a horrid trip to CA to visit my husbands family. We have a few camping trips coming up soon. I just started selling scentsy so now I'm a WAHM, and I'm super excited to do this! My little guy just turned 18 months and I cant even believe it. When I first found this room I was still pregnant and now I'm wanting to be pregnant again! I hope everyone else is doing well!

[Tsuuriki]

I forgot this thread existed.

We're doing well. I've been job hunting for so long, I just don't want to care anymore. My car is breaking down for the 3rd time in a year, transmission problems again. That and the AC makes the engine overheat. This is the bigger problem (I'm having it checked out tomorrow) because it's hot, and I'm B's primary caretaker. Baby + hot car = I'm not sure how my car's still running, but I think prayer and tithing have something to do with it.

Things have been good with DH lately. The first couple months after B was born were weird. I don't even know how to describe it. I knew B was mine, but I had trouble making the connection that she was DH's, too. DH is working full time and going to school, so I was taking care of her almost all by myself, and actually still do. I feed her, clothe her, care for her, make sure she has someone to take care of her while I work.. But DH has gotten better about helping in the last month or two, making it easier on me. But sometimes, I still have trouble leaving her in someone else's care.

[LuTruPeMo]

But sometimes, I still have trouble leaving her in someone else's care.

If it helps, my oldest is seven, and I still have a hard time leaving her with someone else too. She went to art camp last week (4 hours each day) and I was so worried I made myself sick every day.

Tif I think it's bunk for anyone to say you and John are lucky or blessed. What the heck? You've been through the hardest thing any couple could ever have to endure - two times over. Having two lovely healthy daughters in no way compensates for missing two lovely daughters. I'm sorry you are having a hard time.

[DucksLikeRain]

The first couple months after B was born were weird. I don't even know how to describe it. I knew B was mine, but I had trouble making the connection that she was DH's, too.

I've had times where I have a hard time extricating myself as a mother to remember/realize/allow that my husband is the father and therefore loves our children as much as me. This was difficult for me with our first one-he had a very hard time going back to work after taking 2 weeks off and I was all "get over it and go back to work you lazy bum!" Ok, not really that harsh, but pretty much that attitude. It wasn't until the 2nd one came along that I think I truly "allowed" him to be the father he'd been trying to be all along. And that was more out of necessity (having them less than a year apart meant K was still a baby when S was born!) than because I had any kind of change of heart or epiphany!

Tif I think it's bunk for anyone to say you and John are lucky or blessed. What the heck? You've been through the hardest thing any couple could ever have to endure - two times over. Having two lovely healthy daughters in no way compensates for missing two lovely daughters. I'm sorry you are having a hard time.

Thank you for that, heather. Not enough people at church seem to understand. It's the bishop that is spearheading the "you're special/lucky/etc" campaign. And I think for him it's the only way he and his wife made it through having a child with anencephaly 35 years ago. It's what they were probably told by someone and it has somehow helped them, ergo it must be true and must be a helpful thing to say to me. And then when people go on to talk about how "at least you have your other two girls" it's just a knife in the wound. And honestly I'm feeling like we're all supposed to cling to the plan of salvation and throw ourselves into that whenever we run into hard times. I remember snapping LOUDLY at John in the NICU when the nurse was removing life support for Taela. He had the gall (I say that tongue in cheek now ) to tell me "at least we know we'll see her again." And I was pissed. The nurse was such a sweetheart-a member we found out later, actually-and she told me "your husband is right. You do know you'll see her again. Unfortunately I know that is absoultely no consolation right now and probably will not be until you're about to die and the reality of seeing her again is within grasp." What she said didn't really help then, but since then I've been able to remember what she said and sort of feel like I have "permission" to be pissed, sad, upset, etc and not feel like everyone at church expects me to take solace in the eternity. Even if the only person who doesn't expect me to is someone I will {hopefully} never see again!

[crazylemon]

I am so excited that there is a place for LDS mommies!! I just wanted to say hi.

[BrandiB]

I am so excited that there is a place for LDS mommies!! I just wanted to say hi.

Hi! Welcome!

[LuTruPeMo]

I posted this in another group, but wanted your feedback too.

There's a new sister in our ward, I'm not even sure of her name. They moved in a few weeks ago. Yesterday I was behind her in RS and noticed that the back of her dress was showing about three INCHES of garment top, all the way across her back. Also at the armpit her garments were sticking out about one inch.

It was really awkward - do I tell her? But how can she NOT know? How could her husband (also a member) not tell her??? It was weird.
What would you have done?
I didn't do anything, btw.

[DucksLikeRain]

Is it possible that when she sat down it pulled the dress down? Just shooting in the dark here..trying to give her the benefit of a doubt! I know I have one dress that does pull down quite a bit and with certain garment tops it has shown the top...but not 3 inches...

boy, I don't know what I would have done. If it were someone I knew well I'd use the code words my family has always used: It's snowing on the mountains (for garments up top) or It's snowing in the valley (if they're peeking out at the bottom. But I'm pretty sure I wouldn't do that if I didn't know someone...?

[LuTruPeMo]

I'm not even sure of her name. Someone in another group said they say, "You're bearing your testimony" to let someone know their garments are peeking out. Peeking... yes. This was really gaping!

[SarahBaby1]

Hi lsdies. Im sorry that I dont post here. I dont know why I dont post here. Im s convert and Chris and I were sealed in 06. Im so lost right now and feel so lost in the church. I should have gone yesterday, but I didnt want to hear the "Im sorry's" and "Everything will be fine". I know its all meant well, but my thoughts have been so wary towards everything and cant help but feel bad for my thoughts on this baby. (Incase you hadnt read my other posts, this baby could have Trisomy 18) I know I shouldnt even consider abortion, but what if this baby is sick? How can I let this baby suffer and feel ok about it? I know that this baby was given to me by Heavenly Father, and the thought of ending everything shouldnt even be considered, but it's always in the back of my mind. My family is not in the church and of course would support whatever decision DH and I make, but I know his family would be so upset to know the thought has crossed our mind at all.

I guess this is more of a vent, only because DH is so supportive of however I feel, and I have such conflicting sides from our families. I dont think I could ever end the pregnancy, but how horrible is it that Ive thought it? I should talk to my Bishop, I know, but Im even scared to tell him. Anyway, if you could please add us to your prayers tonight, we would appreciate it. Our amnio is tomorrow morning. Thanks for letting me vent girls.

[EvandAl]

I don't have time to really post now...but I'll come back tomorrow night when Evan is at work.

I just wanted to say that I think of you guys all the time. I really think that you are such wonderful examples to me and have helped me more than you could know!

HUGS to all of you who are in need!

[BrandiB]

Oh Sarah I hadnt seen any other posts. I'm so sorry *hugs* Please let us know what the results are. Your little family is in my prayers. I do not have much advice.


Ladies I failed to mention that in June we got our temple recommends back!! I'm soooo excited! Its taken us over a year to get them. This is so bad of me to say but I have not been back to the temple since I was married. Our temple is closed all this month so we cant go until next month and I'm scared. Silly I know but it scares me because I get so nervous infront of people.

[LuTruPeMo]

In front of which people? There's not a lot of face to face interaction, unless you mean at the very end of the endowment... even then it's not really face to face. ;) Good luck getting back to the temple, I hope you're able to go as soon as they reopen! We don't get very often - just went last week though. I didn't have much time and was recovering from the flu, so I did initiatories for an hour. I'd forgotten a lot of what that's like (and they've changed a lot!). It's such a nice thing. I'm glad I went.